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He says he only cheated for sex...can this be true?

Tagged as: Cheating, Sex, Three is a crowd, Troubled relationships, Trust issues<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (28 April 2009) 6 Answers - (Newest, 30 April 2009)
A female United Kingdom age 51-59, anonymous writes:

My question is can a man (or woman)who cheats on their partner with the same woman and says it was only for sex nothing more over seveval years can it be true?

He would go to her house for coffee and sex,and have gropes in the car if he gave her a lift home from work no gifts were given and they never went out to a pub or meet apart from work.he says it was not a weekly or monthly thing just when he fancied it.(he says bout 7 times in 6 years)She is 5 years older than him

What sort of person would do something like this?

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (30 April 2009):


he betrayed you, he cheated on you, he lied to you. just because it was only for sex does not make it right. he was indulging in sexual conduct with someone that was not his wife. do not let him fool you into thinking it was not a big deal. it was. he knows it. he was indulging because he could. and he enjoyed it. he was getting sexual gratification from someone that was not his wife.

if you accept his reasoning now, then don't accpet any sympathy next time he has sex just for the sake of it. do not let him manipulate you into thinking that it meant nothing. IT DID.

you are a mature woman, you can tell right from wrong. in your eyes what constitutes cheating - the fact that he was sleeping with another person, isn't it. it doesn't matter whether it was meaningless sex. remember it was sex.

i am sure he expects you to just get over it. i am certain he expects you to forgive him and act like nothing happened. i am certain he thinks he knows you and that you will just get over it. the question is- what are you prepared to overlook in your marriage. how much of infedility are you prepared to accept in your marriage. it doesn't matter whther it happened once or a hundred times. IT HAPPENED. End of story.

Please do not allow him to treat you like a doormat, you are worth more than that. your life is precious and you should command some respect from your husband.

he has hurt you tremendously and he should know it.

(well, just to prove his theory about meaningless sex - why not go out and F8CK his friend or brother a few times and say that it actually doesn't matter/ count because it was just sex. Then hear his thoughts on this subject. You will be surprised.)

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A male reader, StudentOfLife Canada +, writes (28 April 2009):

StudentOfLife agony aunt"What sort of person would do something like this?"

A person who's not happy with his sex life.

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A male reader, ArmyMedic United Kingdom +, writes (28 April 2009):

ArmyMedic agony auntIf a man says this then yes it can be true, women on the other had tend to want feelings and all that emotional stuff too.

So if a women says "it's just sex" and it was going on for some time I bet there is an emotional attachment, where as if a man did it, he probably did it just for sex.

As for the type of person who does this... Well you can make up your own mind on that one!

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A male reader, Yos Netherlands +, writes (28 April 2009):

Yos agony auntYes it can. That doesn't make it ok by any means, but it is probably better than being in it for the emotional connection too.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (28 April 2009):

It doesn't matter what he says he's CHEATING on you. He says its only sex so what, its still CHEATING. His been lying to you for the past several years, and unless you put your foot down now and tell him its TO STOP NOW, his going to carry on having his cake and eating it. Don't put up with it your don't deserve to be treated like this. Yes I do believe some men and women think theres nothing wrong in having sex with someone else when there not emotionality involved with them, but its still CHEATING. And I think that a person that does this is just SELFISH.

I've been through the same as you, but my partner was having sex with any women that would have him. We did the relate thing, and I thought I could get over it and give him another chance. So I tried, and just recently i've found out his still doing it. So its now bye bye time for him.

Really hope you get this sorted out, please keep us informed and GOOD LUCKx

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A female reader, sarah_s United Kingdom +, writes (28 April 2009):

sarah_s agony auntFor 6 years that's a long fling. From what I can see through your words is that these people who share the same 'play' don't respond to each other's feelings like love so this is just sex, using each other for just the sake of pleasure and fantasties. And a cheater is one of the low life forms on earth so, I would call these people desperate.

Hope that's okay to read. x

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