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He says he cares for me deeply ....

Tagged as: Dating, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (20 March 2017) 6 Answers - (Newest, 31 March 2017)
A female United States age 30-35, anonymous writes:

DeAr CuPiD

I met this guy in Belize in January and coincidentally he lived not to far from me back home. After vacation was over we started hanging out back home and we've been having the most incredible time together. We both just got out of long term relationship and are taking everything slow, it's been 3 months, we talk every single day, when we hang out we always have the best time. Recently he told me he really likes me and caress for me deeply. I like him too and eventually one day would love to be more but I feel like him saying that makes me feel like we're just friends? What does that mean when a guy says he really like you and cares for you deeply?

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A female reader, aunt honesty Ireland + , writes (31 March 2017):

aunt honesty agony auntI would take that as a good sign. If you are both just recently out off relationships and are wanting to take things slowly then that is great. If you are feeling confused and you don't know where you stand with him then talk to him, because the last thing you want to do right now is get hurt.

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A female reader, Campari Milano United Kingdom +, writes (21 March 2017):

Sounds like he's hedging his bets. But that isn't necessarily a bad thing if you are both just out of relationships.

If you are truly concerned, ask him. If he cares for you, or loves you, he won't be freaked out. if he gets weird, he wasn't in it in the first place!

Good luck.

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A female reader, angelvoice United Kingdom +, writes (20 March 2017):

angelvoice agony auntDear Friend,

Do take heart! Firstly, you haven't known each other for all that long.

Some men are very careful with using the word 'Love'. Saying that he likes you and cares for you deeply is almost like giving you a beautiful bud waiting to blossom into a flower.

For some men, telling you they love you, straight out, can make them feel vulnerable, as if they have put out their 'trump' card, their powerful secret.

Secondly, some people are more thoughtful than impulsive, and he may feel it is a little bit throwaway to tell you he loves you at this moment. He would also rather prolong the marvellous build-up of romance for a little longer before revealing the final diamond of his emotions.

I hope this has been helpful, and I would definitely choose to see your situation with positivity and hopefulness.

All the best, Angelvoice

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A male reader, WiseOwlE United States + , writes (20 March 2017):

I'll take a stab at it from a guy's point of view.

It means he needs time to get to know you better, he is still healing from his last relationship, and he hasn't fully established what kind of deep feelings he has for you.

He's feeling good. That all you should take from it. A good vacation and a good time can still have long-term effects.

Unlike females, males don't express our emotions in much detail. We skim around the surface, or just don't talk about them at all. We keep you guessing. We're not supposed to be whiny or weak. Males are also highly sensitive to female vulnerability, and can take at advantage of it; if you say the right things at the right time. Beware!

He just broke-up with someone, and so have you. You both have to be sure neither of you are just having rebound emotions. I also suspect he is still working-out loose-ends with his ex. If she knows he is already seeing someone, she'll go for the open wounds to stir things up. He doesn't have to share this with you; just assume it anyway to guard your own feelings. He's not really sure of what he's saying, no matter what it is.

It isn't wise to jump from one relationship to the next, as a rule. Just as a precaution.

Guys tend to be slower at moving into a new relationship after a breakup. He's being ambiguous or vague to slow everything down. You say you're taking it slow. That means something different for men. Emotionally, guys take it much slower; because his fight or flee instinct is engaged. Some may date as soon as a week later, but you have to be careful; because that's impetuous and irresponsible behavior.

You were on a very exotic and romantic vacation. You shared your healing process after perspective breakups. You are still in recovery emotionally; and your feelings are still quite raw.

You will take trigger-words like "cares" and "deeply" way too seriously. Clear your head! You want his words to mean more than they do.

You can easily become emotionally-attached after sharing time in such a beautiful location. Off the coast of the British Honduras is exceptionally beautiful. So you have to make sure it's not the residual bliss from a wonderful vacation. Nor the emotional stirrings, typical of rebound neediness.

Like that cozy warm feeling you get after a few glasses of good wine. You must be careful to be sure you don't try to lengthen the dopamine-effect; and rush into anything. Take those words he said with a grain of salt. Three months really isn't very much time. Especially after a break-up.

Sorry, you're still in recovery after being cutoff from dopamine and all the feel-good hormones associated with love. Anything that even gives you the least bit of a fix, will have you both saying things to each other you may not feel a month from now.

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A female reader, Aunty BimBim Australia + , writes (20 March 2017):

Aunty BimBim agony auntIf somebody told me they cared deeply I would take it that we were more than "just friends".

If you and he have agreed to take things slowly he may not be ready to make declarations of love.

I think you should ask him what he means by it, perhaps explain to him that it makes you feel like "just friends". Hopefully he will be able to explain it for you.

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A female reader, Youcannotbeserious United Kingdom + , writes (20 March 2017):

Youcannotbeserious agony auntWell, I personally would take that as a GOOD sign, but it really depends on the guy. You need to probe a little bit to see what HE means by it.

I would take it to mean he sees you as MORE than a friend but is perhaps unsure of how YOU see your relationship.

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