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He said he loved me, then he went to Mexico and now he barely speaks with me.

Tagged as: Dating, Family, Troubled relationships, Trust issues<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (6 December 2019) 8 Answers - (Newest, 6 December 2019)
A female Canada age 36-40, anonymous writes:

My bf and I were starting to become super close . He told me he loved me and than he went to Mexico with his parents . The first few days he msg me and sent me pictures . Now he has been gone 5 days and he barely speaks to me . This morning I told him I loved him and he didn’t even reply . Am I being too needy and clingy or do you think I’ve lost him ?

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A female reader, mystiquek United States + , writes (6 December 2019):

mystiquek agony auntI think you are worrying too much OP. You said you were in contact and now it has tapered off. Maybe he's busy just having fun and enjoying time with his parents. When I am on vacation I may not look at my cell phone the whole day it doesn't mean that I don't care its just that I am unwinding. You don't say how long you've been together but it doesn't sound like a long time so I'm drawing that you are a little insecure? Try to relax and keep yourself busy. Its not like he left and hasn't contacted you AT ALL..now that would be something to be worried about. Keep on with your own things and give him a chance to miss you.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (6 December 2019):

Typo correction:

"Did he pay for his own ticket and lodgings?"

You said "My bf and I were starting to become super close."

Seems that closeness got a little too confining. He's on a vacation without you. Maybe he got extra close just before leaving; so you wouldn't resent him for going without you, and to butter you up before he left. Guess he needed some space!

He's in Mexico. Reception could be bad in some areas, and roaming costs get expensive with some phone plans.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (6 December 2019):

Actions speak way louder than words! Exchanging "I love you's" is almost an involuntary-reflex. You can easily say it with very little heart in it. People echo it back when prompted. He went on vacation, and he's probably living it up and having a great time. He's not likely to spend a lot of time looking for text messages prompting him to echo those "I love you's!"

Why weren't you invited? Did he pay for his on ticket and lodgings?

I guess his silence means, "I love you just like I loved you 5 days ago!"

Find something fun to take your mind off your boyfriend. It's a grown-up relationship; and text messaging just to reassure you might be a bit needy. It hasn't been a week that he has been gone. Lighten-up, don't smother. If he didn't invite you along, he's taking a breather.

If his actions haven't reassured you enough that he loves you; then the words are meaningless anyway.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (6 December 2019):

Does he also clap when the plane lands?

I'm with the first poster, he vacates with his parents in his thirties for what reason?

To answer your query though, despite who he's away with, he won't want to txt you all the time because his mind is in Mexico where it should be - making the most of his holiday!

I've been in his shoes when taking my son away, my bf got one txt a day and he was lucky to get that. Do you really want to spoil his vacation by making him check his phone all the time?

Chill - do your own thing!

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (6 December 2019):

uh yeah you are being kind of clingy. He's on holiday and you want him to spend all his time messaging you. Stop messaging him and see where yo ustand when he gets back. Are you really 30+? Because this is the kind of behaviour I'd expect from a sixteen year old.

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A female reader, Honeypie United States + , writes (6 December 2019):

Honeypie agony auntYeah, it's a bit on the clingy side IF he is on vacation, then LET him get a chance to miss you, to RELAX, and hang out with family.

You are old enough to understand that vacations/trips means you are THERE in the moment, not on your phone with your GROWN ADULT GF texting sweet nothings.

Chill.

Get on with your own social life, things you have been neglecting, enjoy an evening with friends on on the couch with your favorite book/movie.

Not ALWAYS have constant contact to a partner can be a good thing, as long as it's not done on purpose.

Don't forget he might have shitty reception or it's pretty expensive to text home.

Trust me, you will survive not hearing from him a few more days.

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A male reader, Fatherly Advice United States + , writes (6 December 2019):

Fatherly Advice agony auntWhen you are over 30 and your BF goes on a trip with his parents, . . . . You just dodged a bullet.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (6 December 2019):

It's been 5 days! Give the guy a break! Has he gone for a holiday or has he moved there? If he's gone for a holiday I don't think you should expect more than a text or two a day and perhaps some days with no contact. He's probably busy enjoying himself... As he should on holiday.

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