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He only talks to me when he is drunk!

Tagged as: Crushes, Health<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (28 March 2015) 6 Answers - (Newest, 30 March 2015)
A female United States age 30-35, *iss.Cupid writes:

I don't know if I should continue trying or step away.

I've known this guy for over 5 years. he is well aware that I like him however there is a huge age gap.which I believe may be the reason why we haven't become anything, nor has he tried making any legit moves.

when I see him in a public place it usually is near a bar, we usually go out to the same parties and events. He always buys me a drink or two, we talk flirt, and by the end of the night I end up driving him bome because he doesn't want to leave with anyone else .I usually drive his drunk ass home and he kisses me on the lips and we say good night and that is all

my issue is that ive tried texting him before or after the whole me driving him home occurs we talk for a bit and he stops replying.

I really like him, however we never actually talk outside of these parties. everytime I go out I vow to myself that no matter what I wont drive him home, but I always end up doing so

my original thought is that he's scared to get deep with me because of the age difference, me being 22, and him 30.

I know he's into me, all the signs are there, however that's only when I see him and unfortunately I only see him at these parties.

what do I do?

how do I get him to talk to me outside of these parties where he can talk to me sober and see where it goes?

how do I get his attention?

am I trying too hard or not trying enough

help me ! thanks

View related questions: drunk, flirt, text

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A female reader, Gladtohelp United Kingdom +, writes (30 March 2015):

Gladtohelp agony auntDon't try too hard trying to figure what he wants. Focus on what you want. You are making it about him.. Do you feel like he's treating fairly? Honestly wouldn't it be nice to speak to someone that is actuallly sober when speaking to you. Honestly he seems like bad news. Run while u can. Focus on yourself. I'm sure the right guy will come in due time.

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A male reader, Sageoldguy1465 United States +, writes (28 March 2015):

Sageoldguy1465 agony auntYou write: "how do I get him to talk to me outside of these parties where he can talk to me sober and see where it goes?"

I ask: Why bother????

Good luck..

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A female reader, CindyCares Italy +, writes (28 March 2015):

CindyCares agony aunt You are trying WAY too hard !

As for the signs, signs of what ? what signs do you see, other than the sign he is a drunkard who needs a trustworthy designate driver- and got himself one with little or no effort from his side ?

22 and 30 ? The age difference would not be so big, what's big is his sense of entitlement-or your naivety- or both.

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A female reader, Honeypie United States + , writes (28 March 2015):

Honeypie agony auntGOOD grief girl!

STOP being his personal taxi. He doesn't want to leave with anyone else? WHO THE F cares what he wants?

Yes, next time you run into him, say hi and no thanks for drinks offered, and no flirting. Go hang out with your friends.

He is taking FULL on advantage of your little "crush". It gives him someone to drive him home, all he has to do is ply you with a couple of drinks and flirt with you.

He IS NOT into you at all and YOU are wasting your time on this immature asshat.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (28 March 2015):

He's out getting drunk, and counts on you for taxi service.

Your feelings are misplaced, and you should direct your attention towards sober guys who are actually interested in you. It makes no sense pursuing people you have to figure out IF they like you, and knowing they have terrible habits on top of that.

I think you need to work on your self-esteem, if you don't think you deserve better than a drunken user.

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A female reader, Aunty BimBim Australia +, writes (28 March 2015):

Aunty BimBim agony auntIf he was "into you" he would be initiating contact when he is sober ......... the age difference is not the issue, the issue is that he is a drunken user, he is nice to you when you meet up with him while out because he knows you will get him home all nice and safe.

What concerns me is why you are even contemplating a relationship with somebody who drinks so much and who has absolutely no compunction using you for a taxi.

He is not into you, the signs are not there, stop being a door mat, stop driving him home, stop thinking he is worth it, he isn't.

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