A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:So I met this guy at work. He started working there a couple months I started, I'm 19 he's 23. When I first met/saw him I wasn't automatically infatuated, but I did consider him as good looking. We started to get to know each other more through work and I gave him a couple rides home, I eventually began to like him. Every time we would make eye contact it was like I couldn't breathe, I was always looking forward to work when I knew he'd be working with me. Considering we were coworkers I never really made it obvious I was into him at work. We did flirt and talk but there were times where I couldn't talk to him because I didn't want to say something stupid. I remember for the longest time I thought I was wishful thinking and thought this was all in my head, the idea that he felt the same way for me. I mean, all the signs were there he just never made a move. I did however catch him stealing some looks and he was super generous and sweet with me. But little subliminal things would make me second guess his liking towards me. Like: he has my number but never texted me (he did say he wasn't a phone person though but still) I also initiated to go on a hike sometime since we both like hikes. So yeah that's the gist of how I fell for him, although I left out a lot more details, just this last week I show up to work and his name wasn't on the schedule anymore. My boss then tells me that he quit the morning before and said "I want to live my dream....btw not coming in to open today." I was crushed, like legitimately crushed, I last saw him on Friday when I went to get my paycheck and he quit on Monday morning. I was overwhelmed with emotions, because not only has he quit, but when I last had contact with him, I had no phone and he has my number. Now that I have one I can't let him know I got a phone since I never got HIS number. He walked out of my life and now work isn't the same anymore. Three days ago, his roommates came in asked if I knew Chris (not his real name) and I said oh yeah he used to work here, they said "he says hi", I automatically thought why he couldn't just tell me himself or why the heck I didn't tell them to say to him for me, I kinda just froze for a bit I miss him so much and regret never telling him how I felt for him. Idk if I should linger on and hope he one day shows up in my life or if I should just give up and live my life. It's just crazy to think that the one guy I ever felt this way for just vanishes without even saying goodby to me himself.
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reader, anonymous, writes (14 June 2013): Whatever you do, keep a level head. My only concern for you was that you were distraught to find that he left without letting you know.WiseOwlE always asks writers seeking advice to prepare themselves mentally and emotionally in the event things don't work out as preconceived in your mind. Wishful thinking is very powerful; so is rejection. You have to base things on facts. Not what you hope or guess. You are not a mind-reader. You've shown him that you like him. Now it's his term to show he feels the same about you. Flirting is flirting. A 23 year-old man is mature enough to ask a girl out if he likes her. That is, if he really wants to.You need evidence that he has any interest in you and should allow him to make a move. Stalking people on Facebook will only get you wondering more and more what he is doing. It may lead to obsession. If he is not interested as you hope, then what?He will find his way back to you if he has an inkling of interest. I suggest you allow him to. Why did he quit so abruptly? Why send friends, when he knows what time you leave your shift? Couldn't he stop by to walk you home or bring his own messages? keep this in mind.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (14 June 2013): Had you met his roommates before? How'd they know who you were?
Well that is a good sign that he had his roommates give you that message! He probably likes you too.
Why don't you look him up on facebook? Just add him and see what he is up to, at least to stay in contact with him.
If you don't have the balls to do that, I have a feeling you might run into him again. Maybe he'll come by to see you or call you at some point.
But in the meantime, of course you should live your life and go on with things. If it is meant to be, it will happen.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (14 June 2013): You're a young girl caught up in a crush.
He sends a message, and it's only "hi?" That is pretty platonic if you ask me.
He knows where you work, and he can come back and contact you anytime, in person. He was a nice guy and he kept a safe and professional distance from you. He quit and moved on. So you should pull yourself together and do the same.
You have to behave like a woman. It is childish to fall apart over something that never was. You created things mostly in your head. You took your schoolgirl fantasy too far. Now you're over-whelmed with your infatuation.
If he has any romantic interest in you at all, he is mature enough to let you know. He doesn't need a phone to tell you he is interested. He can, or could have, told you in person.
Come back down to earth and get a grip. If he likes you as much as you think, he'll walk up to you and tell you so.
Pull yourself together in the event you should never see or hear from him again. Life goes on.
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