A
female
age
22-25,
anonymous
writes:My boyfriend and I have been close friends and we started dating recently. He is 8 years older than me but I love his personality. He is my ideal boyfriend. We play sports together every week and text each other everyday. He seems really seriously about our relationship(he talked about marriage and kids) which made me doubted myself because I'm not sure if I really love him since we've been close friends. I shared my feelings with him and he is always positive that I'm the one. How do you know if you really love a person? Please help me!!!
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male
reader, olderthandirt  +, writes (2 June 2014):
 read Mark's reply and you'll see wisdom.
A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused  +, writes (2 June 2014):
 at 16/17 even if you think it's true love and he's your ONE you are years away from actually making that choice.
so if you have to ask "how do you know" then the answer is "it isn't him" usually... but in your case the answer is.. wait 5 years then think about it.
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A
male
reader, Mark1978  +, writes (2 June 2014):
 At 16/17 you are far, far to young and inexperienced to even be thinking about marriage and kids. HE may be ready for that, being older, but you are not. You are at two different stages in life. Him: mid twenties adult, You: legally still a child of 16 or 17.
To be honest, and im sorry if this sounds a bit blunt, but the way you describe him and the relationship makes it clear you are crushing on this guy rather than in a serious, adult relationship.
I do have to question why a guy in his mid twenties would want to be in a relationship with a child of 16 or 17. With the greatest of respect, and I know you wont like this, but most people in their mid twenties would see 16 and 17 year olds as being kids. Perhaps he doesn't have the experience or maturity to have a relationship with a woman his own age?
I all for age gap relationships, have had several myself, but in this instance I think the age gap is too great. You are both at very different stages of your life, maturity and experience. For him to say he is positive you are the one is a bit dubious considering how much you will develop, change and mature over the next few years. Between now and your mid twenties you will learn a hell of a lot, grow and mature so much and develop into a very different person, with different needs. He may feel you are absolutely right for him now, but two or three years down the line that may not be the case. You say his is your ideal boyfriend but as you get older your needs will change.
Talking about marriage and kids at 16/17 Is easy, living the reality of it is a very different situation. If you are happy together then enjoy it for what it is, but don't get too hung up on marriage, babies, true love and so on as you are still very, very young.
Mark
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A
male
reader, RevMick +, writes (2 June 2014):
 Hi,
I thin it honestly sounds like a school girl crush on a much older man. I personally think 8 years is a little too old to be with someone at your age and would be asking, what he hopes to get out of it.
I have also previously said, age is only a number. I stand by that, however you have your whole life ahead of you, and I would urge taking it slowly. If this man really loves you, he will understand.
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