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He has informed me that his birthday is also National Sex Day!

Tagged as: Sex, Teenage<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (25 June 2008) 10 Answers - (Newest, 25 June 2008)
A female Canada age 30-35, *oolchick99 writes:

I am a 15 year old girl, and my boyfriend is turning 16 in August. By August we will have been dating 5 months. I am a virgin, he has told me that he isn't. His parents are going away the week of his birthday, and he has also informed me that his birthday is "National Sex Day". I thought at first he was making it up, but it's actually legit. I know he doesn't mean to, but I'm feeling a lot of pressure! I just wanted some advice from different sources.

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A male reader, LazyGuy Netherlands +, writes (25 June 2008):

LazyGuy agony auntSo? Masturbation is sex, tell him he can have as much as he desires and if the tries it again that is ALL he will be getting ever.

Sorry but that is just a teenboys desperate and pathetic attempt to get you to have sex with him. Don't worry, they will grow out of it, when he reaches 80.

I can understand you feel pressured but even if you wanted to have sex with him at this point he really has to ask with more respect for you then this. People have sex because they want to, not because someone else tells them to.

And there is no such thing as National Sex Day. Yeah some people have made things up and Russia had one as part of a program to stimulate child birth but no country has a 'pressure your teen girlfriend into sex' day.

If he for instance went to the russian organisers he would get his arse kicked with his idea since they want to promote ADULT women in relationships having more kids. Not more teen pregnancies.

Just remind him that EVERY DAY is 'dump your boyfriend who doesn't respect your feelings' day.

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A male reader, Collaroy Australia +, writes (25 June 2008):

Collaroy agony auntHe's wrong, its "do you think I am a total sucker and am going to full for your pathetic bullshit " day.

C'mon , show some common sense, he has just demonstrated that he has no respect for you as a person. All he wants it to have sex with you. And I very much doubt he isnt a virgin.

By attempting to trick you into having sex with him he is disrespecting you as an individual. Do the same to him and tell him to take a hike.

good luck.

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A female reader, Emilysanswers United Kingdom +, writes (25 June 2008):

Buy him a big box in which he will find some KY jelly and some tissues.

Tell him you'll leave him to it and will call him in the morning.

What an idiot.

Tell him up front that you are not going to have sex until you are ready and you are not going to be ready on his birthday.

Get the idea out of his head now. This is not the romantic way that you should loose your virginity. The fact that he just made it into a joke and announced to you that you should offer yourself up to him, just proves that he is too immature to handle this kind of thing.

Wait till you are older and ready. You've got lots of other stuff to try first.

Good Luck!! xx

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A reader, anonymous, writes (25 June 2008):

No it's "National Keep Your Legs Closed Day". He's looking at the wrong calander and forget to count the leap years. "National Sex Day" happens every 4years and the next one is not due until 2009. Anyway the traditional present is not sex with your girlfriend, but to have sex with yourself.

Seriously, what kind of guy who loves his girlfriend puts this kind of pressure on her. Don't sleep with him, he's not a virgin. He's already slept with somebody, left her and now he's with you. What if he has sex with you then leaves you too. Five months is not very long for him to start talking about these things. Dosen't he have any respect for you and your parents. Tell him you don't want illegal sex, you want cuddles and kisses and are happy to wait until you know him better and your legal to have sex.

PS: I like that thing Trish said. Yep! Tell him you can't have sex cause your mother is very strict and will punish you very badly. I like that. Otherwise just tell him to knock it off 'cause you aint that kind of girl and besides you think it's "Kiss My Ass Day".

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A female reader, Tisha-1 United States +, writes (25 June 2008):

Tisha-1 agony auntI think that the date also coincides with the National I Will Decide For My Own Self And Not Do Anything I'm Not Ready For Day! It might be a smaller holiday but still worth respect.

But they couldn't fit it on the bumper sticker.

It might not be a bad idea to celebrate the lesser holiday I've mentioned. It too is as legit as the one he mentioned.

Don't do anything you're not ready for. My mother gave me a great gift way back when, she told me to tell any boy who wanted something from me that I was not prepared to give that I simply could not. I could tell them that my mother was too strict and that I would be grounded until I was 18. It saved a lot of hassle, actually. It might sound really nerdy or geeky to say, 'I can't, my mother won't give me permission,' but it was really helpful and saved me from some very uncomfortable positions.

Did I tell you that I appreciate everything you did for me, Mom? If I haven't, well, let me tell you that your advice and your loving care of me is worth all the National Sex Days in the world.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (25 June 2008):

Well, International Sex Worker Rights Day is March 3rd, but I couldn't find International Sex Day or National Sex Day. I did find some discussions where National Sex Day was any convient day of the year. I think I'll run upstairs and tell my wife that tonight is National Old Folks Sex Night. I'll let you know if it worked tomorrow. :))

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A reader, anonymous, writes (25 June 2008):

National Sex Day?? Never heard of it. What a unique way to drop a huge hint, your way. Let's see..just because it's his birthday, he wants you to offer yourself up to him? Is 'he' actually pressuring you? Does he talk about this alot. It sounds like if his parents are away, and he's invited you to stay, the guy is making plans. How rather bold and assumptive of him. Listen to this: You are under absolutely under no obligation to have sex with him on his birthday simply because it's his birthday. Give him a card and some after shave or cologne, maybe cook up a nice supper or go out, somewhere.....but you do not 'have' to have sex with any one you do not want to have sex with. It's your body and you get to decide ..when, where and with whom. If you feel he is in fact pressuring you, do what any self-respecting young lady would do under these circumstances...say a flat out no and walk away. Doing just that will provide him with a profound lesson, that he will learn from you, and that is a lesson on how to show respect to females.

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A female reader, cute angel Australia +, writes (25 June 2008):

cute angel agony auntwell hun if its national sex day so what ???u dont need to have sex with him..its the people who have made this a national sex (which i havent heard until u told lol)but whatever!!! its up to the people to have sex if they want..there is no reason here for u to feel pressured !!!you dont have to do it because its some sex day hun..it would be stupid..what if there was a NATIONAL KISS MY ASS DAY do u think people would go about celebrating it by kissing people's ass absolutely not ... there are days we celebrate of course the independence,republic,christmas..but all this sex day shit!!it is complete bull shit..well instead on your boy friends birthday give him a surprise party or gift him somethin that he wanted for long and that is in your budge or do things what he likes probably even go watch a soccer match or something..good luck to u!!!

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A female reader, Tremor Australia +, writes (25 June 2008):

Tremor agony auntNow that is one hell of a day to be born on.

It could just be that he is proud of his quirky birthday, as others would be if they were born on, say, International Talk Like A Pirate Day (September 19) or Towel Day (May 25).

But I can see why you'd feel pressure from this - any one of these things has the potential to make you feel the pressure to put out, so all three at once must be a bit heinous.

Perhaps just talk to your boyfriend about it. Let him know you feel like he's putting you under pressure, even if he doesn't realize it. Let him know you want to wait (I'm assuming you do?), and ask him what he means when drops lines about National Sex Day, etc. If he's a decent lad, he's most likely just joking around and has no intention to try and make you do anything.

Damn though. I wish I was born on such a neat day. =D

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A female reader, scrazy Canada +, writes (25 June 2008):

scrazy agony auntAll I have to say is; don't do it if you don't want to - it may be his birthday, but it's your choice and if you don't feel ready, then don't let him pressure you.

Actually.

Scrap what I just said, you're only 15 and in Canada, you're not the age of consent - wait until you're 16 at least.

If he's not willing to wait for you, then he's not worth it at all.

Hope this helps!

xo

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