A
male
age
41-50,
*redericvo
writes:So there's this girl I met on occasion who exchanged regular eye contact and smiles with me. Obviously, she must have realized that I was into her, lest she would have looked away, as most of the time, girls who aren't into you usually do. So I do believe that she was aware of my interest and still returned smiles as if I should make a move. I never made any move though as I'm shy and still trying to overcome that. Yesterday, I went to that place and apparently she was with her boyfriend. Instead of using neutral body language she held strong eye contact while rubbing it in my face that she's dating that guy.I found that very mean, rude, and disturbing. OK she's not available, but then why didn't she simply ignore my eye contact earlier? Or if she was available before then why would she want to hurt me like that on purpose?I feel so bad now :-(
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has a boyfriend, she has a boyfriend, shy Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, firstlovelastlove  +, writes (28 February 2011):
 I think JDinCali hit the proverbial 'nail on the head' when she said: "Don't change to suit her needs. She won't respect you for it and she'll have way too much power over you and you don't want to be her bell boy."
A
female
reader, JDinCali  +, writes (27 February 2011):
 Her behavior told you she's not interested. She teased you with eye contact to suggest either, you lost out or he is her type of guy.
We can't say that you don't have a chance, because that's her decision to make. If you're stubborn to maintain some sort of flirtation with her forget it, unless you don't mind fighting her boyfriend. He's not going to allow competition.
It would be better to just be respectful of their relationship and say something like, "You two make a good couple, I hope you're happy." If you say it bitterly, then she'll think you're a poor loser. Of course say this sincerely and you'll send a good impression.
People gravitate to positive minded people, but if you're not her type, there's nothing you can do about that. Don't change to suit her needs. She won't respect you for it and she'll have way too much power over you and you don't want to be her bell boy.
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A
male
reader, Fredericvo +, writes (27 February 2011):
Fredericvo is verified as being by the original poster of the questionOK she's immature and all and I kind of expected such comments but do I have a chance or is it busted forever? How should I behave in front of her? I know I'll still meet her so what should I do? Ignore her or do as if nothing happened and go on with EC?
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A
female
reader, JDinCali +, writes (26 February 2011):
Shes rather immature, but maybe she was trying to teach you a lesson. If you don't take a chance, during your windows of opportunity, you'll miss out. Try to use this situation as a lesson learned, rather than focusing on the negative feelings this caused you.
Confidence is sexy. Find something you enjoy doing and be great at it. This will help your self esteem.
Take care.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (26 February 2011): Some people enjoy knowing that they could have any guy or girl they wanted. Usually people with low self esteem like to do that. On some sick level, they feel empowered by it. The bright side is that would you really want to be with someone who would do that? Imagine if you were her boyfriend and she was doing it to other guys. That would more hurtful than what you are feeling now. Kind of a blessing in disguise.
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A
male
reader, firstlovelastlove +, writes (26 February 2011):
Definitely an attention seeker. She's not much of a 'catch' for her "boyfriend" is she? Ignoring her is a nice thing to do.
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (26 February 2011):
Wherever you are in the world, there will always be a Drama Queen, or an Attention Seeker. She's clearly an attention seeker, so just ignore her.
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