A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:My boyfriend and I have been together for almost a year. I love him dearly but I'm starting to get fed up.. I go home a lot near tears or just in disarray because of his yelling and stuff. An example of this is when he had locked himself in his bedroom and I knocked. He went to unlock the door and open it and I thought it would be funny to turn the knob so the door wouldn't open. He went to turn it, it wouldn't turn, he got mad at me, and yelled at me and stuff. I felt terrible for rest of the day. This wasnt the first or last time. It's never anything big( at least to me) that he gets mad over. It's always stuff that's trivial like me trying to tickle him, or jokes like that. I'm not sure how to cope with his short temper. Please help! Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Ciar  + ♥, writes (22 February 2015):
 I'm not one for practical jokes either, in fact I don't know anyone who likes being on the receiving end of them, and I HATE being tickled. You might think this kind of humour is cute and endearing but most folks just find it childish and annoying.
Your boyfriend locking himself in his room was a clear sign he wanted to be alone, whatever the reason, which may or may not have had anything to do with you. Either way, it was your cue to leave.
The rules of hospitality apply as much to guests as they do to hosts and one of the cardinal ones for a guest is to not outstay your welcome. If you're spending as much time in his home as I suspect you are, then you're no longer a guest, but a fixture and you can't expect him to entertain you indefinitely.
He needs more space than you're giving him and the cute, giggly, girlishness is getting old. You're not a five year old child who needs to be told when enough is enough or when it's time to go home. You're a grown woman who has enough life experience to be able to size up a situation and act accordingly.
Cut back on the time you spend with him, be it text, on the phone or in person. The more interesting and less available and predictable you are, the better he'll treat you when you are together.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (22 February 2015): If you know he doesn't like that type of joke, why do it? I don't think you're compatible and I do think it's a maturity issue on both sides.
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A
male
reader, olderthandirt  +, writes (22 February 2015):
 juvenile comes to mind...I'm gonna stomp my foot and spit so there! He's not mature enough to understand that it's just idiodic to not stand (or sit) and talk things out like an adult. Eithe wait til he grows up a bit or date someone older that has outgrown "hissey fits".
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A
female
reader, Honeypie + ♥, writes (22 February 2015):
 It seems to me that you two fail at communicating with each other. A guy who LOCKS himself in his room because he is MAD at his GF has anger issues and is trying to AVOID escalating an argument into.. violence or MORE arguments.
You on the other hand think "pranks" are OK in the middle of a "fight"? That isn't a PRANK, that is GOADING him into even more anger and if you claim you didn't KNOW that.. you are lying, to us and yourself.
I think you two should step away from each other. And both of you should consider YOUR own actions and how they affect the other.
When he FIRST locked himself in, YOU should have left. Gone home. It was a pretty DESPERATE attempt on his behalf to GET AWAY from you. Whether it was to KEEP you safe or KEEP himself in control of himself is hard to say. But you wouldn't go "prank" an angry dog would you? And then presume it would want to lick your face and wag it's tail? No, you would walk away.
This all sounds semi hostile from BOTH sides. And very immature.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (21 February 2015): At your age, you shouldn't be dealing with other people's baggage. Seriously you played a little joke, instead he blows up over it? I think he's been ridiculous, and if you're in tears as much as you say you are then why are you even with him?
If he's not getting your little jokes and makes you that miserable then you're not compatible, you're too young to be bogged down by a relationship like this. It should bring you happiness x
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (21 February 2015): He had locked himself in his bedroom; because he wanted to be left alone. Perhaps he was already angry about something that had nothing to do with you. You were just being playful, but yelling at you was a terrible reaction. If his moodiness is getting considerably worse; he may be having difficulty handling some personal-issues that he's dealing with. Like janniepeg says, he has difficulty communicating when he needs his space. Which may be more often than a girlfriend might like.
This isn't the advice you really wanted to hear; but it has to be said.
It just may be time for you to move-on, and he is just tired of being with you. He gets frequently annoyed; because he can't convey the fact to you he wants to end your relationship. What's the point of sticking around; if he's always losing his temper and yelling anyway? When he's mean and angry more often than he's nice to you; it is time breakup. Dump him, take time-off to heal; then find yourself someone who'll be less moody and nicer to you.
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A
female
reader, YouWish +, writes (21 February 2015):
 He may not like that sort of teasing that you do. I personally hate it when someone holds onto a door like that. My brothers used to do that sort of thing all the time.
When you play pranks or jokes on someone, you have to make sure that you're not the only one laughing at them. In this case, he was getting frustrated, and he may have thought you were getting pleasure from his frustration and laughing AT him. Other variations are when someone puts shaving cream on someone's hand while they're sleeping and then tickles their face with a feather. It's funny to the ones pulling the prank, but not the one who gets their face and bedding covered in shaving cream.
Some people hate being teased. Other people hate being tickled (I can't stand it!). The people doing it are wanting attention, and sometimes the attention they get is the wrong kind.
HOWEVER - why would he go to his room and lock his door while you're there? THAT is rude. It sounds like you don't live together if you go home in tears. If you're at his house spending time with him, he shouldn't be doing that sort of thing.
How often do you go over there?? When you're there, how long do you stay?? You may need to back off of your visits, calls, and texts. And if you do go to see him, leave early. Don't let it be like you're joined at the hip and practically living together. He may be sending the message that he's feeling smothered or claustrophobic in your relationship. Trying to reach out to him by playing pranks or tickling him is having the opposite affect.
If he continues this after you back way off, then it's time to break up with him.
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A
female
reader, janniepeg +, writes (21 February 2015):
 Your boyfriend feels his personal space is violated and didn't know how to communicate that. Yelling and locking his door was effective at that time although that hurt your feelings. You might be missing the connection you had when you first got together. You can tell him that but only let him come to you when he is ready. Otherwise he would feel that you don't allow him to have alone time.
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A
female
reader, pepper  +, writes (21 February 2015):
 Hiya hunny
Have you tried taliking to him about these outbursts? If you are going home in tears then it's not at all good for your health or self esteem..Has he got anything he is worrying about of late? It's not fair to you if you don't know why this over reaction to certain jokes are upsetting you to this point. It's not a case of you coping with his short temper, You shouldn't have to. There must be a reason behind it all. If I were in the same position I'd ask him straight why he gets so angry with you. But I'd ask when things are calm and talk in a calm way. Maybe he doesn't realise he is upsetting you so much. But if the answer to that is...He does. Then something needs to change, or you won't be happy. Please feel free to private msg me if you want to talk some more. I'll try and help all i can sweetheart...Take care of you with love Peps :)
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