A
female
age
26-29,
*jroller14
writes:Well where do I begin?Lets see here. My bf and I have been dating for the past 5 months (secretly until about a week ago bcuz I wasnt allowed to date) Well now weve been fighting a lot about the past 2 months and I dont know if I can stand it much more. He gets jealous about EVERYTHING and EVERYONE. Dont matter if there guy, girl, or gay, he gets jealous and It always leads to fights. Well its came to the point to where I wanna break it off but im not sure how to. I dont wanna hurt him. Hes been a total sweet heart and has been there when I needed him but I dont feel the same anymore. He was gonna move to TN but that has now been canceled bcuz his mom has to decided to say bcuz me and his lil brothers gf both live here. I was gonna sort of use the him moving thing to break up with him cuz I thought it would be the least painful (you may disagree and I know its wrong but thats what I thought) But now i cant do that. How am I going to end this relationship without hurting as bad as I think it will? :( *Bonus Question*What do I tell my parents if they ask? Ive been pestering them for the past 5 months to let me date him and now that I can what Do I tell them?
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (29 November 2012): the question is,are you still love him or not ???
if you think you still love him,there must be a way to make him change again...
2 years ago,i was just like your bf,i was jealous of anything and anyone because i fell that my gf has changed,she always prefer her friends than me...
so i explained everything to her,and fortunatey,she understand...
well,,,i'm sure there must be reasons to your bf why he act like that,,,,
when someone loves you very much,he/she will be afraid to lose you,and get jealous over anything...
sorry for my english....
A
reader, anonymous, writes (27 November 2012): Ok, my apologies if I misread something.
Umm... Still in my opinion it doesn't matter how you end it, the fact that is has ended will hurt all the same when there's love involved. The longer you leave it the harder it will be, and you're only prolonging facing it. You don't want to get to a point where you've wanted to end it for so long, but you can't figure out how, so you opt for the less painful way which is to stay with him.
Look at it from a different point of view - the sooner it ends the sooner both of you can get on with your lives.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (27 November 2012): Allow the next fight to occur. Say that it is sad the relationship has come to this unhappy place of continuous fighting and mistrust. Tell him that you have agonized but have decided the best thing to do is to end the relationship that causes him and you so much pain.
Then say goodbye, go home and ignore any calls/texts from him.
You will be fine.
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A
female
reader, Sjroller14 +, writes (27 November 2012):
Sjroller14 is verified as being by the original poster of the question @Karlos5021
Hes the same age as me (only three months older)
I was saying him and his family were gonna move there but his mom decided not to because of me and his 14 year old brothers little sister..
And this still doesnt ask me how do I end it? I wanna do it the least painful way as possible
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (26 November 2012): You don't need to say anything to them unless they ask, which if they do, you just tell them the truth, that he became very jealous about your life and everyone in it, and it drove you away. I'm sure they will understand. After all parents only want what's best for their children don't they.
Something I'm curios about though, is how old is this guy? It says you're between 16-17, your guy must be quite a bit older than you if he has a younger brother with a girlfriend who lives independently in another town/city or state.
Anyway to your question :
Realistically if someone loves you, there's actually NO way you can break up with them in a painless way. The thing with break up's is that they do hurt, but people just have to get on with their lives and eventually they come to accept it and move on. As guilty as you may feel for him, just think of the guilt you will feel towards yourself if you stay with someone you're truly not happy with, and for a better point, someone who is extremely jealous and whose behaviour could become ten times worse if you stayed with.
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (26 November 2012):
 It's going to hurt. no matter what.
basically you don't fight with him.
he starts in on you about anyone or anything with his insane out of control jealousy you say "we are not having this conversation. I did nothing wrong. Call me when you no longer behave like a toddler"
Basically you need to let him know that his behavior is unacceptable.
DO not set yourself up for being with him when he's going to start in on you and you can't get away.
He's NOT a total sweetheart if he accuses you of cheating on him constant. He's not a total sweetheart if he does not trust you and by accusing you of things and being overly jealous, he's mistreating you.
As for mom and dad, we love it when our kids come to us and say "folks, I'm sorry, I screwed up you were right... I've had to end it with jealous boyfriend" and then cry a bit, they won't yell.
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