A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I broke up with my ex a few weeks ago. We were together for two years. He is a bit of a narcissist, didn't seem to know he was. Lied to me about a lot of things such as: having feelings for an ex, he was on sex sites, masturbated to porn four times a day and then never wanted sex coz he was too tired - nothing to do with all the porn, was obsessed with BBW porn, but told me he wasn't into it at all. Joined a dating site the day we broke up, told me that I was weak and not a challenge for him because he was was better than most other people. Claimed he wanted equality in the relationship but was actually quite controlling, cheated on me, shouted at me and blamed me for him cheating, told me I needed therapy, cyber stalked his ex and a couple of other and made me feel ridiculous for being concerned, He told me he moved in with me and got a dog with me as a way of making it harder for him to leave the relationship. I felt like I was going crazy!!! There was plenty of other things too, he totally took control of my finances (for my own benefit!) we couldn't do anything that concerned spending money unless he decided he wanted to (like going on holidays or going out).Other than all this, I felt like we had an amazing connection sexually and emotionally. But he's very manipulative. I did a bad thing and logged into his email yesterday, he's been sending pics to big girls of his private parts and and getting in touch with as many girls as possible looking for sex- he actually told me once he had a weird "thing" about sex whatever that means. I know it was wrong to log into his account - i think I just need answers as to why he was doing this to me. I'm disgusted, with him and myself for being treated this way. I think it makes it worse is that while he is very self aware (according to himself) - he seems to be totally not aware that the way he was treating me was wrong! He genuinely believes he's a nice guy and is honest and decent and has respect for everyone equally. Yet he believes everyone else is stupid and below him. Am I paranoid? Is he or was it me? Im just unsure of how to let it go.
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broke up, cheated on me, his ex, money, moved in, my ex, on holiday, porn, stalking Reply to this Question
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female
reader, So_Very_Confused  +, writes (14 July 2014):
 I think once you realize he was not DOING THIS TO YOU but rather that's just the way it is and his behavior was NOT personal you will cope better.
Get a copy of the book "A Fine Romance" by Judith Sills. It will help you put a post mortem on the death of this relationship and realize it was NOT your fault.
You are not stupid nor are you paranoid...
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (14 July 2014): OP here. When I say sex sites I mean that he logged into swingers websites whereby he had a "single and looking" profile. He had a secret email address that I came across when it autocompleted. He claims he didn't know his profiles (multiple sex site)were like that. Yea right.
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