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He blames me for everything. Any advice on how to alleviate the tension and reduce the stress in our relationship?

Tagged as: Dating, Family, Health, Troubled relationships, Trust issues<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (7 January 2013) 2 Answers - (Newest, 8 January 2013)
A female United States age 30-35, anonymous writes:

My boyfriend says that I don't take responsibility for anything and that I blame him for everything. I personally feel the oppposite.

He refuses to see when something IS his fault and immediately jumps on the "Oh, so I'm the bad guy" train.

I love him very much and do not want to end the relationship, but I can not handle being blamed for things that I have no control over and he can't seem to handle that I'm not the only one who causes problems between us. (Ex: we recently got a new puppy and he had peed on the floor in another room. I was not aware that it happened because the puppy had just been outside not even 10 minutes before it happened.

My boyfriend was mad at me for the puppy's accident. When I told him it wasn't fair to be mad at me, he got even more pissed and said very sarcastically "of course, I'm the jackass, you didn't do anything." I don't feel that it was my fault.

Then he told me I need to take responsibility for it because he's my dog. I didn't want the dog, didn't ask for him. I'm a cat person, I don't really like dogs that much. My boyfriend is the one who went out and got him but I'm the one who has to take care of him and everything he does.)

We have a home together and a two-year-old son. I know my boyfriend is immature and childish a lot of the time, but just leaving is not an option. I want this to work both for us and our son.

Does anyone have some advice that might help alleviate some of the tension and stress between us on this blame/responsibility issue?

View related questions: immature

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A male reader, anon_e_mouse United Kingdom +, writes (8 January 2013):

anon_e_mouse agony aunt'We have a home together and a two-year-old son. I know my boyfriend is immature and childish a lot of the time, but just leaving is not an option. I want this to work both for us and our son."

Yup, as the previous reply has stated; you will leave. It is a matter of time. I'd put my life on it.

What a great role model for his son this guy is too!

There is nothing you can do about this. He has to do something about his issues and what's worse is he has to WANT to do something about it.

Have you talked to your parents about it?

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A female reader, So_Very_Confused United States +, writes (7 January 2013):

So_Very_Confused agony auntHis behavior will get old fast... trust me.

BTW it's a PUPPY you need to watch it 24/7 till it knows to tell you it has to go out... LEASH the dog to your jeans through a loop it will learn to walk on the leash and follow you...

IF the boyfriend got the puppy and pretends he got it for you say "I don't want the dog" and take it to the shelter.

Puppies get adopted quickly.

I would suggest counseling to work on communication skills....

and start putting money away honey... eventually you will tire of his childishness and leave.

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