A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:*OP's Original Title*So, recently I've been having alot of dramma and streaa with my bestfriend. My friend is a guy and we have been bestfriends for about three years. Once we met it we had this weird instant connection but he had a gf so we didn't pursue anything. It was fine for awhile untill his gf became very jealous and caused major problems leading to a two month period where we just stopped talking to eachother. This all took place my freshman and sophomore years of highschool.Junior year came and we began to rebuild oru friendship slowly. He had a few gf's but none lasted too long. Me and him started to hang out more often and then we began talking about sex. He asked me if I would have sex or do other sexual things with him. When we talked about this i thought it was all hypothethetical and that he was just generally curious. But no, we began experimenting with eachother. I've had feelings for him before but they went away... until we started doing all of this stuff. I thought maybe he had feelings for me to but i think maybe he was just a guy who wanted to have sex. Last month we did end up having sex. I was a virgin but he wasn't I don't think I regret him being my first because as a friend I really do love him. But the what hurt me was that I found out that he had been talking to another girl at the same time he had been trying to get with me. I felt so used and sad! But he seemedlike he cared about me so I guess I let myself be fooled. Recently, we messed around again but didn't actually have se. Later that week however, I found out that he hung out with the other girl and that they kissed. I felt a little hurt ut tried to avoid thinking about how hurt I felt. I don't know what to do! I want to have sex with him again, it's a nice feeling. But I don't know what to tell him or if I even should... I think maybe I'm being used and it's getting hard to be around him because he always knows when I'm mad at him and tries to get me to talk to him! Like he knows I can't be mad at him when he does or says certain things!And also, he acts very jealous or curious about who I talk to. He's always asing me who I'm texting and if it's a guy he always wants to reat my text messages but I never let him.Here's an example (I'm going to use a fake name for the guy texting me.):Him: Hey you have a text message from bob.Me: Hey give me my phone!Him: Why? Who's bob? I just want to alk to him, he must have something interesting to say if he's texting you so late.It's like he's either jealous or just curious about what guys i'm talking too. I don't know but that conversation was very recent.Anyways, can anyone please give me advice on what I sould do? Or some insight about this crazy situation? It would be much apreciated. Thanks :)
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female
reader, Apl  +, writes (23 June 2010):
 you know what we have a similar situation right now. guys like that is not worth the time - i know it hurts to ignore him at first but if you'll continue that he'll abuse you. some guys feel they need to love a thousand of girls but a real man knows to love one woman in a thousand ways. we just have to move on and smile :)
A
female
reader, Oregongrl1 +, writes (23 June 2010):
You are the one who is sitting yourself up for getting hurt! and can't let go. there is nothing confusing about being used if you know you are well you just put a stop to it not keep going back for more. he has no interest in you or any other girl for that matter hes playing the field just like any other sexural teen boy, and all you got to say in no!!
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A
female
reader, YouWish +, writes (23 June 2010):
 I read this a few times actually. Normally, I would have thought he was using you, but in this case, I don't think so. You haven't ruined everything by having sex with him. This is a case of him not knowing that you want more than a friendship.
I think of the movie "Juno" where the girl has sex with her best friend out of curiosity and the safety factor. They end up getting together at the end of the movie (after she gets pregnant and gives the baby up for adoption).
You've gotta talk to him about your feelings. You want to have sex with him, but even more, you want the relationship with him where you are his girlfriend and not a casual friendship. I don't think all is lost because of the possessiveness he's shown to you.
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