A
female
age
30-35,
*una18Cat05
writes:This guy in my college class has been flirting with me for the past few weeks. He's 26, I'm 20. His flirting hasn't been inappropriate just some "You look beautiful" kind of flirting. Yesterday I decided to go for it and we went to his house to watch a movie and hang out. We ended up cuddling and kissing the entire movie, but I didn't sleep with him. It was also my first kiss that night so I probably was not the best. Either way after about an hour or so he walked me back to my dorm where he hugged me for some time and then snuck a peck on the lips. Next night I get a text from him: his ex told him she is pregnant and it is his. I didn't want to be mean or anything so I said he and I could still be friends, but I am pretty sure he is going to be with her. I do approve that he is biting the bullet and being with the mother of his child.At first after he left I felt bad about kissing him, but the more I thought about it, the more I was happy it had happened and wanted to kiss him again. Now, I can't have anything romantic to do with him. Was I stupid for doing that in the first place and am I stupid now for wishing he'd still want to be with me and not her? Half of me also wants him to get a test to make sure the baby IS his. What should I do exactly?
View related questions:
flirt, his ex, kissing, text Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (20 October 2011): A few years ago one of my work colleagues used to speak to a guy telephonically. After a few months they decided that they liked each other, wanted to meet bec they 'clicked" and bec they had something "special". So they meet. Next day calls her , tells her he has Aids and that "although he really likes her, he cannot just do this to her, his health was an issue etc etc. What he failed to tell her was that he was horrified when he met her: she was a Big girl. Meaning very overweight. This girl was even prepared to leave her job and take care of him. Needless to say she quit her job and eventually moved without a job. He just continued his life as per normal.
What I am trying to tell u with the above story is this: did this guy lie. Did he go on the date, not liked what he saw and now wants to duck?
Or his gf is really pregnant.
OP I know u like this guy, is he the only guy u have kissed?
LoveGirl
A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (20 October 2011):
 A sorry frenzy ?... Yeah. Rare chance, very very rare chance.
" I am sorry " in this context means, yes, I am going to be with her - or else , maybe: I am going to use her as an excuse to not have a relationship with you and not commit.
I get the feeling you may get hurt.
You'd be smarter staying away from this dude. After all, it was a good kiss, but hey, a kiss is just a kiss, don't turn it into the love story of the century. You'll meet plenty of other boys, and they all will have lips !
...............................
A
male
reader, Tom Obler  +, writes (19 October 2011):
 Hi, You don't want this in your life. You are a young lady and you don't want the drama of dating a guy that has a baby with someone else and sees the baby every week etc. A mother that will be on the scene forever and a baby that he will be attached to forever. Move on now for a better catch.
...............................
A
female
reader, Luna18Cat05 +, writes (19 October 2011):
Luna18Cat05 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI can understand your points about avoiding him because of drama, but I don't want to give him a bad label without any real proof. He knows that I am not ready to sleep with him yet and even said after I told him that he WANTS to date me. And his ex that is pregnant, the breakup was 3 months ago and she is 3 months pregnant so the bump is there to prove it, I guess? No promise that it is HIS. I don't know the girl so for all I know she may have been with another guy and it is HIS kid. I'm not sure. I did ask him if that meant he was going to be with her and he just said "i'm sorry". I guess that is why I'm assuming, but there might be a rare chance he is caught up in a sorry frenzy. All I could really get out of him was that he felt horrible and was sorry. He was my first kiss and after I got over the shock of it all, I found out that I really DID enjoy it and like it. So now, it seems I'm stuck in a rut. Child comes first ALWAYS, yes. At this point, I'm just in a fog. Been like that for the past few days.
...............................
A
female
reader, Honeypie + ♥, writes (19 October 2011):
 Honestly, I give him credits for talling you THAT soon, if he had been an asshat, he would have told you AFTER he got you in bed..
So points for that.
As far as the situation, I would step back. I would NOT pursue this relationship, for several reasons.
1. He is recently single ( if she just called to tell him she is pregnant they must have been sleeping together fairly recently) so he is on a rebound.
2. He might not be totally sure about how he feels about being a dad. Some guys think they have to MAN UP and be with the mom & baby (nothing wrong in that per say)
3. If he DOES decide that he doesn't want to be with the ex.. SHE is always going to be in his life. And his baby will ALWAYS (or should always) come first.
4. the potential drama that might ensue.. Yuck. Enough to make me run for the hills.
As for having a kiss and a cuddle with a guy is not bad. You don't owe him anything though. Sometimes a girl have to kiss a few frogs.
Next time - give yourself time to get to know a get a bit better.
STOP beating yourself up.
...............................
A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (19 October 2011):
 Are you sure it was an EX?
if she's truly an X there is no way a baby will make the relationship better or make it work.. maybe he just will support the child (like he should if it's his) and not get back with the mom?
You automatically assumed he would go back to her didn't you? why? she's an ex for a reason. Being together for the sake of kids (especially ones young enough to not care) is a lousy reason to be together.
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (19 October 2011): U are wasting too much of throughts and emotions about him and his ex. Are u sure she's an ex? After all he has been flirting with u but having sex with her?
Why do u want this drama in your life? U know he is with someone else . Cut off ties now before getting sucked in anymore.
LoveGirl
...............................
|
