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Guy I Used To Date Stalked Me Online. What Should I Do?

Tagged as: Dating, The ex-factor, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (2 June 2021) 4 Answers - (Newest, 3 June 2021)
A female United States age 26-29, anonymous writes:

A guy I used to date has been stalking me! I got a HUGE scare over the weekend. I created a LinkedIn a year ago with some basic details about myself (university, school etc) but it was linked to an old email account, and for some reason I could NOT change it to my new email. So I just made a new LinkedIn and took care to make it more private.

On a whim I logged into the "old" account this weekend, meaning to delete it... And you know where it shows who's searched you up? I got a profile view from someone who works in his city (although the job role is different from what he works as - I checked his profile to be sure it wasn't him, it didn't show exactly who it was), with the industry nothing related to MY industry. He lives in a VERY small city that's also not in my country. Keep on mind this is an old dead account that gets like 1 view a week.

I think he has been asking his friends to LinkedIn stalk me. This is the guy who I dumped after finding out he posted in his friends' group chats the Instagrams and general pictures and details of girls he either dated. So they could "rate the girls out of 10" with no respect for their privacy. This is ALSO the guy I dumped after noticing he held back on complimenting me and didn't seem to like that I know how hot I am, because he liked to be the "pretty boy" and felt threatened. And he was controlling with his ex and apparently threw something at her after they had an argument and made her sleep on the floor. Oh and I heard he badmouthed me after I ended up kind of ghosting him because he was borderline screaming at me in the end, over text, as I told him I wanted end things. I just blocked + deleted him.

I have deleted the profile. WOW if it had been the one I really use... But I am scared, is there anything else I should do or should I be OK? Fortunately he lives in Europe..

View related questions: his ex, stalking, text

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (3 June 2021):

I bet you are telling anyone that will listen this story yet you have no concrete evidence him or his friends are actually behind looking at your Linkedin. I second male anon, you seem like a drama queen who actually it seems would like to think you have exes checking up on you....

No it's not stalking, at worse if it is him he just had a nosey, hardly any real danger if he did check you up online, maybe he wondered if you was actually doing something constructive other than focusing on how "good looking " you think you are....

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (3 June 2021):

@Honeypie - thank you, luckily my new Linked In is very private and lots of my friends know how he acted as well so he will not be able to get info on me out of them. He did visit my area a lot pre COVID (he has relatives here), and may start doing so again. Plus as posted he had no respect for his ex's privacy, he once tried to show me her Facebook to make a point about her only to find he seemed to have been blocked. I agree I have dodged a bullet!

@the anonymous person with a chip on shoulder - don't be ridiculous and read my post about his behaviour when we were together properly. Google cyberstalking before embarrassing yourself in future.

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A female reader, Honeypie United States + , writes (2 June 2021):

Honeypie agony auntYou deleted it so at least he can't use THAT account to stalk you further.

A LOT of people like to "check up on" or "cyber stalk" exes. A LOT of people. Mostly out of curiosity. So while he wasn't/isisn't a great guy, there might not be more to check up on you than just seeing what you are up to.

What to do next? Lock down all your social media (as far as making them private. And keep a check on the traffic to your new LinkedIn account.

Seems like you dodged a bullet.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (2 June 2021):

I think you are massively over reacting here. so what if an ex searched your profile. he hasn't called, txt, sent an email, sent unwanted gifts, followed you, threatened you. that's what stalking is. I think you have an ego problem. maybe the world doesn't revolve around you.

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