A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I lived far away from home for years after university, but recently returned to temporarily live close to the small city where I grew up. My mother is old and my father also passed away last year. As I had a day off today I decided to go round the city alone for the first time in ages. I walked past the house I grew up, which is now empty, went past where I used to play basketball as a kid etc. Even my old college where everyone looks so young! (though I am in my late twenties).I am not sure if going alone made it worse, I was not expecting how sad I felt. Me and my family don't even have friends there any more everyone has moved on and I didnt belong. I know everyone feels nostalgic for childhood and of course the pandemic and my father's passing last summer made it worse. However, it was horrible being around all these old childhood memories that are gone. I am moving away to a place I am excited about in a month's time, and I have just realised the reason I have felt so bad recently is being close to the place I grew up. It felt like everything else died aswell.How can I move forwards from this adn being haunted by my past? I had a strange childhood though I am now a successful adult. The pandemic has made it worse too, we have had our final lockdown in the UK but it has been long and hard. I am very upset would appreciate advice.
View related questions:
move on, university Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (3 June 2021): What you've experienced is pretty common and your reaction is pretty normal. When we move-away and comeback a few years later; you start to notice all the changes and differences.
Neighborhoods change over the years, and some of the colleges and universities we've attended were there long before most of us were born. You'll see all those new young faces attending; and notice the new additions added to the campuses and you'd expect everything to be just as we left them. You've gone from freshmen to graduate, and from graduate to an alumni. Seems it all happened in the blink of an eye! You're a little too young to ruminating about your past like a little old lady! You're only in your twenties!
Don't get in the habit of feeling depressed over the passing of time, you've got too far to go. Developing the wrong attitude towards aging will make you bitter. You're fortunate to still have your youth, don't waste it in misery over what's passed-on with time. You can't freeze or suspend time; so you go with the flow.
It's just a sign of change and progress. It's a reminder that time moves forward, and so should we. It's nice to reminisce on the good memories of our childhood; but we should never allow darkness in to depress us, or miss things we know can't be replaced. The future is a mystery, and holds new promise of that which is yet to be discovered and experienced. People stuck in the past tend to be miserable, and unhappy.
You have no choice but to move on; because you can't turnback time. Your history is what developed you into who you are, and it is what prepared you for now. The present and the future offers you new wonders yet to be seen. You should be thankful, and cherish all that you have. Be grateful for your accomplishments, and give back to your community. Help others, and contribute to making our world better for the next generation. There are too many important things to do in the present, to waste any time worrying about our past. Just be sure not to repeat the mistakes! Let-go of anything that stifles you or holds you back!
We have to build a legacy to leave a positive and enduring contribution to those we love, and to our society. Hope to be remembered as a beloved family-member, spouse, parent, friend, neighbor, and colleague; once we've completed the full cycle of life. Maintain the hope you yourself will be someone's fondest memory; while still living, and beyond.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (3 June 2021): It's sweet that you felt nostalgic for your childhood.
That tells me it wasn't all bad.
I expect the spirit of your dad walked with you, because he knows you need a memory of your childhood area to keep in your head as a constant reminder that 'home' is no longer home anymore.
Soon this feeling of sadness and emptiness will be replaced with excitement about your opportunities at your new life and trust me, your dad's spirit will still be there to guard you.
I hope he was a decent man, but people change in spirit into a better version of themselves.
They acknowledge and overcome their shortcomings.
Perhaps you could visit your mum and make your peace with her as no one lasts forever and then step forward into your future.
...............................
|
