A
female
age
22-25,
*atelyn99El
writes:I have a load of regrets. I do a lot of things that I think'll beay.So here we go, problem one: I had/have this friend (let's call him O) who I have gotten pretty close with, and he isn't really the most trustworthy person. But I trusted him. Now if you're reading this and thinking "oh, one of those". It's not like that. He wasn't some internet creep. He went to my school, so he was a legit friend. Anyway, I'm a very flirtatious girl, he's a very flirtatious guy(I gotta add in the fact that he has a girlfriend) . So in the beginning it was all "friendly" stuff, talking about life and our problems as friends do. But occasionally we'd slip into "that" part, which is where I felt very safe, in a sense. I could get in and out instantly (that was not on purpose), and we would joke about sleeping with eachother. Then one day came along and we were hanging out nothing funky, then one thing led to another and then we started kissing. He begged me not to tell anyone and I asked him the same. That was two months ago and we were still really good friends after that, in fact we became better friends. We carried on being normal after that and we still got quite dirty when we texted, and one time he asked me to send him a picture. I did. Then he sent me a couple as well. It became a daily thing. He invited me to his house a couple times too. Never went. Throughout the entire summer was just endless exchanging. It was so fun. Then, when school started, my friend told me that O's friends told her that O told him that we kissed. Obviously, I got mad. I confronted him and he said it must've been when he was drunk and that he was really sorry. I believed it, the timing was right and everything fitted. we even hung out afterward as if everything was fine. It was fine . *Sidenote- when ever my parents were arguing, it would make me feel literally sick. So, I text him then he makes me feel better* . The day after my parents were fighting, and I texted him because at this point everything was fine. He was busy, but then 30mins later he replied and at that same moment I realized I was supposed to be mad at him so I basically told him to f*ck off. Then I said I was sorry and he easily forgave me, which I felt most humble about.Now, things are weird. We always used to have so much fun talking,dirty or not. It's just very strenuous keeping up a conversation now. Also, we take the same bus to school and before each and every time he saw me he would wink. Now it's just nothing. He was a really big thing to lose and I'm afraid of the fact that that might've happened. Should I just wait? I really need help with this. I'm going mad.
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female
reader, katelyn99El +, writes (9 September 2013):
katelyn99El is verified as being by the original poster of the questionAnd word didn't get out. I got lucky and convinced my friend that it did not happen. Then O told his friend that it didn't happen. Everything WAS fine.
A
female
reader, katelyn99El +, writes (9 September 2013):
katelyn99El is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI was only actually mad when my friend told me that she heard about what happened. I thought he just told his friend for the sake of it. He was drunk. There's proof on instgram. The timing couldn't have been more perfect if it all was all a lie. Also, I think I need to clear things up. 1) I was never suppressing anything. 2) Are friendship didn't start to sink until I sent that idiotic reply. 3) I am not falling for him. It's not like that at all. I wasn't actually mad when I sent that last text, I just wanted to seem logical to myself. But inside I just felt as if nothing happened at all, as if it were still summer. I know for a fact that I screwed this up. I pushed him away.
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A
female
reader, janniepeg  +, writes (8 September 2013):
 I am not sure when you got angry, or whether you had been suppressing your anger for a long time. Were you angry because it took him 30 minutes to reply to your text? Were you both freaking out that the friendship will never be the same? Honestly the friendship is never the same once you kissed. Everything was fine, until O's friend told your friend. It started with you and O promising not to tell others. O found it too hard to contain, so he told his friend, then promise, not to tell others. Now your friend knows, and probably a lot more people. That marks the turning point in the friendship. You wanted it to be fine but deep down inside you weren't.
I don't think the main reason you are angry is because he told his friends. I am thinking you are falling for him a little bit and is upset that he's dropping you, the friendship, to save his ass from further cheating. Like the friendship meant nothing and you had been played. That's what you are angry about.
Friends look out for each other. A friend who cheats, who help the other cheat, will not make a good friend in the end. You have to accept that the friendship will never go back to where it was.
He had not been a great friend. Set some higher standards for yourself. At least you still have that female friend. Hopefully she will be on your side.
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