A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:This isn't actually a question as such but am needing some advice possibly from a male perspective. Theres a guy that lives in the flat below and we know each other pretty well, we've been flirting a lot reacently. Last Saturday night I saw him when I was out with my flatmates and he offered to buy me a few drinks which I was grateful for. At the end of the night when the students union closed, we walked back to our block of flats together and went back to his room. We were talking about things for a long time and we were both pretty drunk. He said something like "I would normally take that skirt off you so fast" with that I felt the need to kiss him, so I did and we ended up having sex. It wasn't the best because we were both pretty drunk but I said i'd text him later after my family had visited me on the Sunday. So anyway last night I sent him a text and I haven't heard anything back from him since. Starting to feel a bit stupid and wishing I hadn't done what I did. Do you have any advice on which way to go now, obviously I don't want to appear needy. Many thanks
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female
reader, Fiona xxx +, writes (3 June 2008):
 So.......
A while has passed, I assume you have at least cought a glimpse of eachother?
Normally I would say the behaviour on both sides would be a one night stand; but I imagine it would be awkward you two living so close.
Do let us know what happens.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (26 February 2008): He lives in the flat below, and you text him! Why not go and knock on his door and talk to him face-to-face?
You don't have to appear needy, and in the end it all depends if you'd like to take things further and how you'd like to progress from here - you don't say what your intentions are - so go and talk to the guy and you'll know if he's sufficiently interested in you by the way he talks to you. That's a very important aspect missing from a text message!
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A
male
reader, Collaroy  +, writes (26 February 2008):
 Hi,
He probably viewed it as a one night stand. I'm not saying relationships can't be born out of one night stands, but generally one night stands are exactly that.
He could have at least replied to you with a thanks but no thanks, so he is a dickhead if you ask me.
And let's face it you don't really know the guy that well, so put it down to experience and next time learn to differentiate the difference between getting a shag and wanting a relationship. If its the latter don't sleep with him until you become friends.
Good lluck
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A
male
reader, leonard j. Douglas  +, writes (26 February 2008):
Well Sweetheart: A lot of us men have sex without any commitment in mind. You see we can separate lust from love more readily than a woman can. So perhaps, You were just used in this case. And being drunk makes for a lousy sexual togetherness. You need to work on wanting to be desirable in other ways, not just depend on what's between your legs.
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A
male
reader, leonard j. Douglas +, writes (26 February 2008):
Well Sweetheart: A lot of us men have sex without any commitment in mind. You see we can separate lust from love more readily than a woman can. So perhaps, You were just used in this case. And being drunk makes for a lousy sexual togetherness. You need to work on wanting to be desirable in other ways, not just depend on what's between your legs.
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A
male
reader, leonard j. Douglas +, writes (26 February 2008):
Well Sweetheart: A lot of us men have sex without any commitment in mind. You see we can separate lust from love more readily than a woman can. So perhaps, You were just used in this case. And being drunk makes for a lousy sexual togetherness. You need to work on wanting to be desirable in other ways, not just edpend on what's between your legs.
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A
male
reader, DoubleM  +, writes (26 February 2008):
 Right! Never appear needy, but you were of legal age and, despite admittedly tipsy, apparently enjoyed the encounter. No doubt he did. It would be great if you believe that a hot sexual encounter should at least lead to more of a relationship, and I would agree. In my case, I always would follow up.
But you guys are young, and in my youth, I'll admit that a lot of the encounters were largely a matter of quenching lust rather than a search for love. If both enjoyed it, why not? But if your interests are deeper, then just cool your heels for now and see if he contacts you for more - maybe much more. If not, then blow it off and look more seriously, and soberly, for what you really want from a man. Maybe not his type it may seem?
Finally, I think he that is a total jerk for not being totally sweet and responsive to you. Period.
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