A
female
age
30-35,
*weetthing
writes:hi all.Following my previous post where basically my bf of three months went to india- sister's wedding and his cousin's wedding. Also his parents live there. Even though he had said not to msg as his sisters will be near him etc, i found it hard and i got really sadi did email him pretending to be from work. sadly i know his email password, he did receive itbut he deleted it to. That hurt more than i can say.He's back this saturday its been nearly 23 days. i've been so low in these days because it feels we have split up. Even though before he went he was romantic, weekend away, surprise gifts with meaning etc.I really have fallen for him as he was what i wanted. but now i feel so hurt and broken. im dreading him coming back, one incase he doesnt want me but two as in i've been crying alot. Missing him alot , even though focusing at work and gym (lost nearly half a stone) .my question is, how should i act when he comes back?I don't know what to do, i.e whne he calls or says meet up.
View related questions:
at work, cousin, split up, wedding Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused  +, writes (27 April 2015):
 Be glad you only spent 3 months with him. thanks for the update and I'm sorry you are hurting.
A
female
reader, sweetthing +, writes (25 April 2015):
sweetthing is verified as being by the original poster of the questionhey an update- he had joined a dating site before he went to india, two days before we met before he left.he came back from india and was a coward couldnt end it but didnt talk to me. we met up etc, but we ended it. he joined sites asap.i guess i got played. he stil gives me different reasons as to why breaking up but says didnt connect with me or love me.
...............................
A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (12 January 2015):
he's been gone for 23 days... just over 3 weeks... not a lifetime... (sorry I'm looking at 90 days apart from my husband right now)
and at only 3 months dating it's not a long time so I think that you should
a. wait to hear from him
b. let him take the lead in terms of getting together and doing the whole "I missed you so much" thing.
c. be fun and light and as "normal" as possible
...............................
A
female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (11 January 2015):
 I second the notion of acting 'normal.' By that I mean calm and collected and not a weeping mess because he's been gone for a few weeks.
You feel hurt and broken because you are expecting far too much from a relationship of only 3 months.
Lighten up. He's not Prince Charming and you are not a princess waiting to be rescued.
You like him, he likes you. That's a good start. Now don't go pinning all your hopes and dreams on a guy you've been seeing for 3 months. That's not sensible nor is it healthy.
...............................
A
female
reader, Ciar  +, writes (11 January 2015):
 My suggestion is act 'normal', pleased but not overly moved by the fact that he's back. Treat him as you would any casual friend you haven't spoken to in a while, so no passionate declarations of love and longing.
Let him court you and be more mindful of the kind of investment you want to make in this man.
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (11 January 2015): Hi pureflame thanks for answering. i forgot to mention i am indian to so i get what you mean, my friends said the same.
It's just i thought that if he had contacted me, even a text whilst he son the toilet. it would shown sooo much.
instead right now i feel so heart broken and let down. if it had a been a week max two okay. but a little over three weeks.
You are right iam going to have to play it cool but i just feel hurt and as if he's broken my trust . i feel he doesnt care now
...............................
A
female
reader, Pureflame  +, writes (11 January 2015):
So, here's the thing. It's too early into your relationship, so i can understand why he asked you not to contact. As heart breaking as it is for you, Indian families can be very sneaky, especially during wedding times. Which could also be the reason he deleted your email. I know it's hard to understand, but families can be a real pain at these occasions.
I would suggest see how he behaves and if he is apologetic or if he missed you as much. Behaving normal would be the easiest way to find out if you mean as much to him. If you feel like you can mention that you were hurt by his disappearance for a bit. But honestly i would suggest you don't.
You will understand if he really cares when he contacts you. Wait for him to get in touch.
I'm not one for playing games, but behaving normal only means less heart ache for you.
Good luck :)
...............................
|
