A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I've been married for 5 years with two kids. Lately I've had little sexual attraction to my wife but I still watch porn and stuff. Lately, I've been getting hit on by female coworkers, one in particular (gorgeous). Lately, I've felt particularly aggressive and amped sexually. I don't know what to do. I feel like my marriage has been in steady decline and I desperately want to screw as many women as possible but I feel bound by marriage and I can't afford/deal with a divorce. What do I do?!
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female
reader, MsSadie +, writes (8 August 2013):
 Has your wife changed physically? Like, has she gained weight and stopped dressing herself nicely? Is she more slovenly and lethargic than when you two first got together?Or have you simply grown bored of her?If the answer is in my first set of questions, then I suggest you encourage activities with her that will incite her to take care of herself again. Exercise together, try a new diet together, and maybe you can take the kids every now and then so that she can have a day to herself.If you're just bored, then the issue is probably that you're not marriage material (yet). It honestly sounds like you're going through a mini mid-life crisis, which isn't surprising since you got married so young (if your age is in the 22-25 range, that means you got married between ages 18 and 20 - that's really, really young!). Your options there are to deal with being a little sexually frustrated or jump back into bachelorhood.Is the big issue that makes you think your marriage is in decline that you're no longer attracted to her? Do you love her at all anymore? Do you appreciate being a father?
A
female
reader, TasteofIndia +, writes (8 August 2013):
 Okay, let's backtrack here. There's a lot of information missing.
Do you and your wife have sex? How is it? Has it been changing? Is your wife changing? Are your tastes changing? What is your relationship like, and why do you think it's gotten to where it is now?
You don't say that you don't WANT a divorce, just that you can't afford it or "deal" with it. In an ideal world, is that what you would want? Your wife a distant memory, and you living the single life again? Or would you want to fix things with your wife and make it work?
I think that what you're feeling doesn't make you a total scumbag, getting hit on can be flattering, and hitting lulls in your relationship when your eye starts to wander is normal too.
However, the bottom line is that you are married. If you don't want to be with your wife, then you need to figure out how to "deal" and pay for a divorce, because getting the okay to cheat on her isn't going to happen. There's no justifying sleeping around.
If you want to stay with your family, then you need to stop escaping from these issues and hiding out with the porn and the coworkers who are giving you the attention and sexual feelings that you need, and actually put some effort into fixing things up with your wife, and getting your marital bliss back in order. And hey - if you feel crappy about your sex life with your wife, I'm betting that she's not feeling great about it either. I'm guessing that both of you are unhappy, and that means both of you need to have a talk and spice things up again. Good luck!
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