A
female
age
36-40,
*oni_b
writes:Hello,I'm a 23 year old female involved with a 56 year old male. My problem is our sex life is pretty much one side. He only wants to have sex in the missionary position since he believes this is the only way to get me pregnant. He tends to forget all about me during sex which makes having sex with him uncomfortable and some what painful. He is a large man with an even larger penis. He goes too deep and when I tell him to stop or slow down he says he can't. Afterwards when I tell him he's not making love to me but hurting me he tells me he will try next time but the same thing happens all over again. I have suggested other positions but he does want to. Missionary position is what he likes and gets off to. When I ask him is it because you feel it's controlling me, he said yes, he wants to be on top every time. Is this something that is just an older person thing? I care for him but I can't go on like this.. He gets to have his sex sometimes several times even when I say I "No,I can't do any more about in the same position". I am basically pinned under him until he feels he's satisfied. I'm just at my breaking point.Is it too much to ask for him to think more about me and not so much he gets off or trying hard to get me pregnant when we never really even talked about kids but now that's his excuse for doing it hard or more than once in a day. I would love to suggest professional help but he would never go. He would say that I'm just being selfish and immature. His other wives or girlfriends liked it for me just to relax. I know I'm 23 but I don't feel that I am asking for too much.
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female
reader, natasia  +, writes (6 September 2008):
 that is fantastic!!!!!!!! you are SO brave, and i am so glad you have got your life back!!! albeit you could actually have that bastard in jail as well, because he raped you - it is terrible, terrible, that happened to you - but you have ESCAPED!!!!!!!
i guess you probably just want to forget he ever existed, rather than pressing charges ... i can understand that. hey, you enjoy every second of your new life. i am so inspired to hear you've done that ... well done. xxx
A
female
reader, natasia +, writes (6 September 2008):
WOW!!!!!!!!!! TONI, YOU ARE AMAZING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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A
male
reader, oldfool  +, writes (5 September 2008):
 Glad you've made the break! Good luck with your new life! You're lucky to be away from this creep. I cannot believe how he treated you.
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A
female
reader, Toni_b +, writes (5 September 2008):
Toni_b is verified as being by the original poster of the questionA NEW START!
Hello,
I wanted to finally have something good to say as my post seems like someone I don’t' even know.
It got so bad last month I could not stand being with him and his friend. He basically told me my ass and tits were his to do with what he wanted to. If he decided he wants to fuck me, he's just going to take it because I have been nothing but a bitch holding back on sex with him. For some reason he got it in his head he owned me.
The finally straw after coming home from work, tired, and just sick of what's going on in my life he basically wanted sex from me the min I walked in the door. I told him to forget it; that he acts like some over sexed animal. I can not just screw you because you want to. His response was, I would or he would just have to do it rough so I get the picture. When I tried to leave, he basically just dragged me to the floor, rip my shirt and skirt off of me and basically raped me extremely long and hard. I thought at one time he was going to break my wrists as he held both of my arms above head with one of his hand and pushing down on my wrist so hard. I thought I was going to pass out with him on top of me with all his weight I was getting carpet burns down my entire back and him biting my neck, shoulders, and breast area so much during this that I was unable to sit back on chair or put a bra on for two days.
My friend looks at my back and she told me it looked like someone took a cigarette and burn circle down my back. I knew that was my back bone making those marks because he basically has his entire weight on top of me. I'm 117 and he has to be 200 plus. I knew this can not go on for me to be afraid of being attacked every time I come home.
Last month Albert came to me and wanted $1000.00 because he was going to Las Vegas on business. He said he was going to make more investments and was short on cash. I knew this was bullshit but figured the money was worth giving up because it buys me time.
The min he closed the door behind him I went downstairs and told the property manager I had to break my lease and leave. To my surprise she was so supportive of me. She basically told me to get out now and that she would give him notice to leave when he returned.
My girl friend was going through something like me but not as bad so we got on Craig list found a great place out of state which was much cheaper. I can work anywhere in the world with my job as its high tech. I just need a laptop and phone to do my job.
It was so exciting to pack my stuff. I took everything I cared about in the apartment although I did not want any of my bedroom stuff or living room furniture, did not want that in my new place, wanted to go out buy everything new and clean that he has not touched. We got all of our stuff and hit the road. I felt so good about myself; I could not believe I allowed someone to control me like that.
When we arrived I did call the property manager just to see if he was pissed off or not when she gave him his noticed. She said he told her some big fat lie that I WAS coming back and if she could wait until I returned etc. I told her get him out of there as I am never coming back!!
T
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A
female
reader, dolla18 +, writes (2 September 2008):
 Hi,
their all right honey, get out as fast as you can.....
GOOD LUCK.....sounds like your'll need it!!!!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (31 August 2008): Hey Toni,
We're thinking about you and hope things haven't gotten worse... You can leave whenever you want, you don't have to put up with all this shit, there is a way out...
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A
female
reader, eyeswideopen +, writes (29 August 2008):
 I agree with you, you are really being stupid at this moment, and I also got a glimmer that you kinda like this pervy crap.
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A
female
reader, duskyrowe +, writes (29 August 2008):
 Question... Why are you still with this guy?We have all advised you against this FAT UGLY PERV, yet you still let him abuse you. Sounds like you are enjoying this as much as he is, otherwise you would have ran a mile ages ago.
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A
female
reader, natasia +, writes (26 August 2008):
You absolutely must leave this man. Please go and call your parents right now. Please. You MUST.
There are no ifs or buts or maybes here. There is no doubt at all. You should actually just pack a few things now and go and get a taxi to a friend or your parents. Forget about work, forget about everything, just for a day or so (obviously call in to work) - just remove yourself from him. Everything will then start getting better, and you will have a new life.
When you feel stronger, you could seriously think about pressing charges, as you are being serially raped. Yep, that's what it is. Against your will, and with force. Nothing much is worse than this, so please just make that call and, if you were my daughter, I would be round to get you (and GET him!!) within 5 minutes...
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (26 August 2008): People don't tend to see a solution because they can't view their problems straight minded. Your biast on what you want. You think of every single thing they say that leans you towards what you hope to think.
To be fair, he seems to want children with just about every woman, and married 5 times doesn't exactly show the best track record.
I don't know whether you were seduced into this, I don't know whether your absoultey head over heels about all of this but before he absouletly does real damage I implore you to get out of there.
As Diovan has suggested you can make one call. Obviously we're not professionals, and they can tell if your being abused or not. I hope you actually believe what we're saying is true, coz if not this can go on for a lot longer than need be...
Everybody has the right to say no. Nobody has to do something they don't want to do, particularly with this. Your selling your body away, they're using you. Your only 23 and contray to popular believe thats extremeley young. You have your whole life ahead of you.
You don't want to waste time and energy on this. This may have started out small but this guy is sex obsessed, and has by the looks of things sex obsessed friends. Its got a hell of a lot bigger...
I would like you to do what Diovan suggested but I'm not gonna force you to do it obviously - partly coz I can't. However, you came on this site for help and generally if everybody agrees with the same solution then its generally the right one. We'll be here to support you, but we can't do anything for you.
Gecko,,
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (26 August 2008): CONGRATULATIONS MY DEAR..
You are now a whore. You love your guy so much, you have allowed him to sell your arse to his friend. Well that is true love and commitment from your side, what is he giving you again. The aunts and uncles told you what would happen. We didn't ask you to do much, we just asked you to make one little call. You ask for help, we asked you to do something too, we asked you, over, and over and over again to make a telephone call.
This is a free service, we ask very little of you. You want our help and we gave that, and what did you give us instead. A story about this fat dirty old man and his fat ugly friend. We've told you we're worried, and we were right. Do you really want this to happen again?
I'm not asking for very much, I'm not asking you to go to the police and put him in jail for prostituting you, for raping you, for being a sex pervert and having sex with you whilst you were still a child. I'm not asking you to tell your parents, I'm not even asking you to run away.
I'M FUCKING ASKING YOU, NO I AM BEGGING YOU, PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE, JUST MAKE ONE FUCKING CALL.
If you can't do that, then how can we do anything to listen as your story gets worse...
Can't you use a telephone, is things really that bad. You are now a whore to a fat, dirty old men, how bad can things get now. Maybe you've forgotten the number, I know things are stressfull for you at the moment. He forced you to do this, we told you he would. Next time it will be three men, four men, it is expensive for him, he has 13 kids to look after....
MAKE THAT FUCKING CALL TODAY... WHAT HAVE YOU GOT TO LOSE
FUCK WHAT PEOPLE THINK, this is now a case of forced rape and forced prostitution... I can't think of anything worse. Wait yes I can, the day you get pregnant and he starts hitting you, or maybe he sells your baby to raise money. Well he sold you, there are tons of things he could do, and you don't seem to have the power to fight back. So call in the professionals and let them help out, let them take you away and make you safe, you don't have to live this way anymore.
PICK UP A FUCKING PHONE AND MAKE ONE TELEPHONE CALL. BREAK THE SILENCE. FREE YOURSELF BECAUSE NOBODY ELSE CAN.
National Domestic Violence Hotline.
Phone 1-800-799-SAFE (1-800-799-7233)
website www.ndvh.org
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A
male
reader, oldfool +, writes (26 August 2008):
"I've sort of made a mess of things because I wanted to believe my lover so much".
So you didn't listen to a word we said? You believed this creep and you didn't believe us?
Now that you've totally ignored our advice and got yourself in deeper, what are you proposing to do? It's not much use telling you to get out of this as soon as possible if you're just going to stay in there.
As far as I can see, you've currently got two choices:
1) GET THE HELL OUT OF THERE LIKE PEOPLE TOLD YOU IN THE FIRST PLACE.
2) PUT UP WITH IT, MULTIPLE-PARTNER SEX, ANAL SEX, HAIR-PULLING AND EVERYTHING ELSE.
If you can't start thinking clearly, I can see much worse alternatives down the track, including unthinkable alternatives like murder or suicide. The problem is that if you keep on your present course you'll get to a stage where these alternatives aren't so unthinkable any more.
Am I getting through to you?
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A
female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (25 August 2008):
 So you never called the number I gave you?
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A
female
reader, Toni_b +, writes (25 August 2008):
Toni_b is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHello,
I had to put some time between posts because a lot has happen. I've sort of made a mess of things because I wanted to believe my lover so much.
He kept pushing me last time to have his friend join us in bed. Of course I kept telling him no!
Then he came clean as to reason behind this. He owed money due to a business ventured that failed. His friend suggested we all get together a few times to clear his debt. He begged me that he would never ask this again if I agreed to it.
A few weeks ago I was getting my stuff ready for work the next morning and hear voices in living room, when I went out to see who it was, Albert and his friend were standing there. I just turned around and went back to the bedroom and closed the door. A few mins later they both came in and started to get undressed right there!! I was stunned and Albert told me to come on, let's not fight over this. I told them both do you really want me to do this when I don't want to?
His friend said I would enjoy it and for it to just let it happpen. Albert came up and started to hold me around my waist when I tried to backup he held me tighter so I knew there was not much I could do as his friend removed my cloths they both begin kissing me and put me down on the bed where they took turns and finally they both wanted me at the same time.
I had only done anal twice before and did not like however I was sort of controlled by Albert to let his friend go ahead. The both of them basically used me for their enjoyment. Finally when they finished his friend left and I went to get up. Albert wanted us just to have sex after all that?? I told him to get out that his debt was paid and I was never doing that again. However it happen a few more times and I am not seeing an end to this.
I'm some what afraid to move out as I dont' want him to find me and I can't really tell any one as I did let them do it without fighting them off. But now that seems to be a green light for them to have me when the want to. I'ts too much for me plus his friend is the type of person who likes it rough with pulling my hair and bitting me. I had so many bruises and bite marks on my neck and chest and back area from really the both of them but he was the worse. They are both with the minds set that 20 something females like it this way. I do not and have really made a mess of things.
Really being stupid at the moment
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A
male
reader, oldfool +, writes (16 July 2008):
Hey, I'm 54 and I don't act like that!
This man sounds like an insensitive domineering type (to put it mildly) and he's using his age and experience to cow you into submission. The fact that he's been married 5 times and has 13 children also makes me wonder. How did his marriages end? Divorce? Or something worse.
You've got to try and get this man out of your apartment, then out of your life. You don't want someone like this around. He's suffocating you, hurting you, abusing you, and controlling you. For a 56-year old, a 23-year-old is an attractive piece of flesh to have at his disposal, but what worries me more is his insane insistence on getting you pregnant. What the hell does he think he's playing at? It's kind of sickening to think of guys like him spreading his genes around.
Just curious, who pays the rent? Tisha mentioned the financial aspect, what with 13 kids and all. Is it possible that he's not only preying on you sexually, but also financially?
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A
female
reader, duskyrowe +, writes (15 July 2008):
This man is abusing you in the worst possible way. He is extremely dangerous and he has sex with you whether you like it or not. Darling what this pondlife is doing to you is pure and simple R-A-P-E.
Now he wants one of his disgusting cronies to come along and have sex with you. Listen to your head, if it is telling you it is WRONG. Just get out hun, this man does NOT love you, he is using you for his own disgusting gratification.
Please get away from him, kick him out of your house. If he does not comply with your wishes get the police involved as I feel he should be locked up for what he is doing to you. The Aunts and I are really scared for you, because we feel that he has manipulated and brainwashed you. Please feel free to write to me personally, I will do my utmost to help you my darling. Dusky xxxx.
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A
female
reader, eyeswideopen +, writes (15 July 2008):
You are really scaring us. This is so dangerous. Do exactly what Trish said, please write back and say you are in a safe place.
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A
female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (15 July 2008):
Okay, here's the part of the website I mentioned that I want to you read, look at it, okay? And plan for your exit.
http://www.ndvh.org/help/planning.html#2
I really think it is time to tell your parents and/or some friends about what is happening with you. They might be very confused at first, but you need to get all the support you can to remove yourself from this intolerable position you find yourself in.
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A
female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (15 July 2008):
Get the hell out of there NOW. Go stay with a friend. Do not pass go, do collect your vital financial papers and all your banking stuff, but get the hell out of there.
Did you contact the website I suggested or call the hotline? Seriously, this guy is BAD NEWS. You need some serious back up here...
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A
female
reader, Toni_b +, writes (15 July 2008):
Toni_b is verified as being by the original poster of the question
Your all right!
I do need to talk to someone about getting this resolved because I don't want a threesome and this is our main topic. He wants this to happen very soon and my biggest fear is this friend is going to show up at my apartment. I will be in trouble with the two of them. It would really be no match if he wants to do this or if they both approach me. I'm starting to stress over this. He keeps telling me he really wants this and he can't stop wanting to be with me and of course if I love him I would do it. He's not gong to let anything happen to me. They both just want to make love to me. They have been friends for over 20 years and he wants to share me with his good friend. I asked why would that not make him mad for another man to touch me? He said it would if it was any one else, he knows I love him, it would just be sex and another area for me to explore while I’m young. My head tells me NO WAY but my heart still wants to please him. I know I've allowed him to control our sex life and that's part of the reason I'm in this situation.
For some reason he has it in his head that ALL 20 something females want sex 24x7. In the beginning I believe this so part of this is my fault because I told him to do what ever he wants, I want to please him and I thought I wanted too. This now has developed into him waking me up in the middle of night for sex even though we already had it earlier that night. I let him be in control but now I can't turn it around and so he has become very aggressive and forceful with me. I try to push back or say no, it goes in one ear and out the other. He just does what ever or when ever regardless of what I say.
I'm now thinking I just need to make something happen even if it starts with seeking professional help for me because I know I can't do this alone. I hate being weak when it comes to him. I'm not like this in other areas of my life.
T
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A
female
reader, natasia +, writes (15 July 2008):
ps and i don't mean to be gross, but do you realise what they will want to do to you if you agree to have his friend round too? At some point they will probably want to have anal sex with you at the same time as the other one having normal sex. You need to be aware of this. It would be a dreadfully humiliating and horrible experience for you, and you really REALLY need to avoid that happening, ever.
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A
female
reader, natasia +, writes (15 July 2008):
Tisha has said it all - she is right. And I know how hard it can seem to escape - especially as he has this hold over you. i had the same thing with a man 16 years older than me, and i wasted 7 years of my life on him. Like you, i met him when younger, and then again later and that is when it started.
it will be easier than you think to let him go. just think now how relieved you would be if you woke up and he wasnt there. i know you probably feel ashamed to tell your parents, but try to, as i imagine they would be only too eager to help.
be strong. you can do this. for yourself.
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A
female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (15 July 2008):
Toni, thank you for the follow up. I really did think that he would have a string of failed marriages and relationships behind him, based just on what you wrote about his so-called love-making. He really will never change. You know that. Five ex-wives would probably tell you similar stories, as would the ex-girlfriends. I'm also pretty sure that he has struggled financially with paying all the child support that 13 children would entail, and that's probably why he moved in with you. I would also expect that he wouldn't be able to take care financially of any child that he had with you. In fact, he may be running from paying child support and has had his wages garnished, his income tax refund (if any) taken by the feds for non-payment of child support. Just some wild speculation on my part here.
My guess is that he has been 'grooming' you since you were in your teens. That he's managed to find you and move in with you must be some kind of answer to a selfish pig's prayers.
I think it's time that you end this very dysfunctional relationship; you are going to be asked to have this threesome over and over again, and you will be asked to have a baby over and over again.
Me in your shoes, I would call a friend TONIGHT and ask if I can stay with her until I get this man out of my apartment. I might choose to end the lease if he will not leave. I would also seriously consider telling my parents about him; you said he was a family friend. I expect this might not go down well with them, otherwise you'd have been broadcasting the news of this wonderful relationship to them?
I would have at least three friends with me if I had to confront him while he was asked to move out of YOUR apartment. I would then change the locks, notify the superintendent of the issue, change all my phone numbers and find a new place to go ASAP. I might even consider moving to a new city, in fact, I'd probably run home to mom and dad.
I would also have a chat with a counselor at the National Domestic Violence hotline, if you feel that contacting your friends and family will not rid you of this controlling man. If you feel at all in danger, or maybe you just need to chat with a counselor there to give you some options.
National Domestic Violence Hotline.
Phone 1-800-799-SAFE (1-800-799-7233).
Website www.ndvh.org
Do NOT do anything you are not comfortable with; get out of this situation as soon as you can, and it might not be a bad idea to talk with your doctor about this situation.
Please take good care of yourself; you have your whole life ahead of you and you deserve to be treated better than this man is treating you.
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A
female
reader, Toni_b +, writes (15 July 2008):
Toni_b is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you all for your responses,
I guess when you see it in writing it does make sense. First of all, I am on the pill. He does not know this. When he first started to tell me he wanted a baby from me I know I'm not ready for a child. My own income is not where is should be, I'm with an older man that has been a friend of the family for years and have sex with on and off since I was 16. Last year we met again and I can't explain it but he has a strange hold on me.
He's been married 5 times and has 13 children oldest is 31. Thankfully, my mom and dad are in another city because he has moved into my apartment with me. Started with him staying over one night and now as moved in completely.
I know I have to get my control back and my friends think I am nuts for being with him. I suppose it's because we have history and I thought I liked being told what to do in bed but really I don't. I have made myself believe he loves but like everyone has said and on this post, how could he when he is only thinking about his sexual enjoyment.
He has suggested he wanted to share me with one of his long time friends. He show his buddy a picture of me we took in bed and of course the friend keeps asking him and he won't stop bugging me about it even when I have told him no. He keeps telling me how good it would be for the both of them to make love to me at once. If I've not tried it how will I know I don't like it. For me that is where he's crossing the line and why I felt I needed to write to someone or chat group. I always seem to give in to him and he knows if he keeps it up that some how I will agree and he gets his way.
It's so sad as it started off really good but the past few months he has become more and more demanding of me with sex and always throws up his past girl friends and ex-wives making feel like there is something wrong with me. Last night he told he felt for sure he got me pregnant he can always tell when he's got the women pregnant and for me to start testing. His biggest reason for me getting pregnant according to him is the sex is ten times better. I suppose it is for him I can't see how that would be good for the women and I don't want to find out either.
T
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (14 July 2008):
Vow, I have empathy with you; you are not in a very easy or comfortable situation; I wish I could give you some easy good news;
BUT
You are an intelligent 23 year old lady;
what I am going to say, might not be the answer you were hoping for; however; I am giving my opinion on what you have described in your posting and bases on that I am giving you the best advice to my knowledge and experience.
I realize that you love this guy; and that there are lots of emotions involved; but, he is not treating you with LOVE and RESPECT; you are NOT his paid mistress?
Think carefully; do some stock taking; do you really want a child by this man?
If yes? I have lots of questions for you;
And if no;
You are as smart as I thought; now how to deal with it from here;
As for him having sex and hurting you; that, as you know is abusive; he is sexually abusing you.
Let me ask you this; if you love somebody or really care for something; would you hurt it or damage it?
Then don't let him do this to you;
I need you to answer some of these questions; (you are welcome to contact me on private message service);
How many wives and how many children?
Is he currently divorced?
Why do you want to have a baby with this man?
For how long have you been in a relationship?
What happens or will happen should you refuse his favorite position; meaning, do you have sex in any other position?
Does he satisfy you sexually? Or is he only taking care of his needs?
However, you know that this man is sexually mismatched with you; and I believe you do know what you need to do;
I urge you; think about yourself; think about your future;
avoid a pregnancy; go get an injection to avoid the risk of pregnancy; try and get away from this man; MOVE ON; but do not allow your life and future be ruined by him, his ex wives and children;
Please if you cannot do it on your own; go and get some counseling; get somebody to help you through this;
We are here to help you and give you guidance and advice; but I honestly suggest you need to take control of your life and MOVE ON;
It will be difficult; but get some help and there is somebody out there; that will love and enjoy life with you; you have plenty time to find him and to have children with him;
Sex is to be enjoyed by both parties; it should be mutually satisfactory.
There is more to a relationship then just love; and if there is a problem in the sexual relationship; vow; there is reason for concern; you still have the age problem too;
No, my advise; take stock; get HELP; get out; DON'T get pregnant;
Keep us posted;
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A
female
reader, natasia +, writes (14 July 2008):
and DON'T HAVE A BABY WITH HIM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
if you can't escape, at least go secretly on the Pill ...
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A
female
reader, natasia +, writes (14 July 2008):
ps
and I forgot - a huge FAT grandpa at that!!!! He sounds absolutely disgusting and does not deserve to be having sex with anyone at all, let alone a poor sweet 23 year old who knows no better. But you've worked out it's wrong, haven't you? Of course it's wrong. And it sounds half-dangerous, too - you might be squashed to death by the horrible panting beast! Oh, I shudder to think of what you're going through. Just leave him - no discussions, nothing - just go. You can come and stay at my house if you need to!! I'm not joking!
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A
female
reader, natasia +, writes (14 July 2008):
Jeez, get shot of this guy. What the hell is he playing at? It sounds practically like rape!!!!!!!!!!
It is WRONG AND BAD. Get rid of him. Is he your husband? Divorce him. This isn't how it is supposed to be - it is very very very bad of him. Of COURSE he should respond to your polite requests! He is monstrously selfish and is forcing himself upon you. And you shouldn't be having sex with a horrid old grandpa who is doing that to you. Escape NOW!
I don't normally get het up, but reading your post made me very cross with him, and very upset for you. You shouldn't and don't have to put up with this. It's wrong.
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A
female
reader, natasia +, writes (14 July 2008):
Jeez, get shot of this guy. What the hell is he playing at? It sounds practically like rape!!!!!!!!!!
It is WRONG AND BAD. Get rid of him. Is he your husband? Divorce him. This isn't how it is supposed to be - it is very very very bad of him. Of COURSE he should respond to your polite requests! He is monstrously selfish and is forcing himself upon you. And you shouldn't be having sex with a horrid old grandpa who is doing that to you. Escape NOW!
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A
female
reader, eyeswideopen +, writes (14 July 2008):
Listen to the aunts, he's a control freak and he has more issues than just his choice of sexual position. Run away as fast as your 23 year old legs can run.
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A
female
reader, jess18maine +, writes (14 July 2008):
 He sounds like a horriable guy and it has nothing to do with is age. He isnt considering you or your feelings at all. You do not want kida with this man. He's contolling and if sounds like he raping you if your saying no and he holds you down. Get out now. Sex is suppose to be fun and loving not scary and hurtful.
This is going to turn into a very bad relationship... Don't waste your youth on him.
Also you can get pregnant in any position.
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A
female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (14 July 2008):
I'm guessing in this particular instance, the reason he has ex-wives and ex-girlfriends is that he's a selfish man, an inconsiderate lover, and unlikely to change.
If I were in your shoes I wouldn't spend one more minute in bed with this man. Sorry, but life is too short to waste time on a losing proposition. Wish him well in his search for a woman with no sexual needs, desires or sense of self, then be thankful that there are men out there who are not like him. And go find a good guy.
One can be a good lover at any age, provided you are wiiling to learn and listen and accomodate special needs. If you're a bad lover at 56, you're most likely going to be a bad lover at 57, 58, 59, 60, 61, 62, well, you get my point here?
I hope I'm correct in assuming these are exwives. If he currently has more than one wife, time to notify the law...
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