A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hey everybody ? I need some help plz! Sorry for the length btw, but ther was a lot to say!!!Ok I'm not entirely sure where to start, but here it goes...About 6 months ago i noticed i was really attracted to one of my closest friends. I have only just turned 16, so this was the first crush id had on a girl before. This is still all new to me. I told her how i felt about 2 months ago, and recently iv been feeling much stronger, deeper feelings for her. We have made out a couple times...lots actually. And whenever we kiss, i feel like there is something special between us....a couple days later, we got talking about dreams we have had, and she told me she had a dream that she had sex with me and that she enjoyed it (i knew her subconscious wanted me, but did her conscious mind???).....Then a while later i asked her if she would be willing to experiment with me and have oral sex..we are both open minded and we tell each other everything. At first she wasnt sure if it was such a good idea. She has a boyfriend. I know it sounds bad that i asked this of her, but we are, like i said, extremely open minded. Also, to add to this, her boyfriend fingered me RIGHT IN FRONT of her!! i did try and pull him away, but he was too strong, and it was just playful for him..then she told me she had another sexual dream about me..she was giving me oral sex..at this point i had also had a dream about her giving me oral sex (not the same night. that would just be freaky)...its like we are connected somehow..its really wierd..anyway, 2 weeks or so ago, she brought the "experimenting" topic up again..asking me if i was still up for it, and said she has been feeling strangely attracted to girls lately. In response, told her i was still keen on the idea. It was settled. Then this past weekend, we made out AGAIN at a get together at one of our friend's house. however, she had to go home early..the next day she asked me if anything happened with any other girls (the girls in my grade sometimes like to kiss each other just for fun). I jokingly told her i had hooked up with another girl in our class. She believed me..but when i told her it was a joke, she admitted to strangely being jealous of that other girl for kissing me...so i was pretty convinced she had feelings for me, not only from her saying this, but about the way i catch her staring at me in class, and the little comments she makes. Here is where this gets confusing: the night before last, she tells me she still wants to experiment with me. I am very happy and excited at this point. We start sending flirty messages about the night when it will take place....Now last night we were talking over text, and the topic come up once again. This time she tells me she hadnt thought about her boyfriend, before she agreed to it!!! (wtf???) She tells me it will ruin our friendship, and if not that, it will make us become more than friends, and she is afraid she will have feelings for me and mess things up with her boyfriend. She says she has been feeling "so much for him lately" and doesnt want to spoil it because its been so "perfect"...i understand this because she recently just had sex with him for the first time (they have been going out one year) but this is all just so confusing for me. She knows how strongly i feel for her, yet she sorta played with my mind. I reminded her of how much she meant to me, and she said she is sorry but it is not going to happen. I found myself crying over her last night. I hate how much i love her. She is tied to her boyfriend, but she makes me so crazy. I actually think i love her. It kills me to see her with her boyfriend. I really care for her, and i want her to be happy, so i just pretended like everything was super duper in school today. But i dont know how long i can take this. I know its not just lust i am feeling, its much deeper than that, and it honestly sucks that i have to go through this. I want her. But i know i cant have her....ever. What do you think i should do so i dont feel so crappy??? I have never felt this way before, and for a girl of all people! I probably sound so pathetic, but i need some advice with how to deal with the whole situation please! She is my best friend and i dont want to ruin the strong friendship we have...on the other hand, i cant stand not being with her. She makes me horny when we kiss, and i dream about sex with her. I feel like we could have something very special, but im afraid i will never get the chance to be with her and show her how much i really care for her. PS. i live in a small town, and there arent ANY bi sexual people of my age to my knowledge. My school is small and we all know everybody's secrets. The reason my secret hasn't gotten out is only because i trust my friend with my life, and she will never tell. There are about 3 bi curious girls (me, the girl i have fallen for, and another who i have kissed but i know kissing is the farthest she will go) thank you in advance for all your help. I just needed to get this all off my chest, and find someone to talk to. Thanks again :)
View related questions:
best friend, crush, flirt, has a boyfriend, horny, jealous, kissing, oral sex, she has a boyfriend, text Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (21 September 2009): Hey guys thank u both soo much for your answers! They have reli helped me out alot :) and thx for all the compliments :P yeah. i agree, this boy of hers is sumthing else. My friend used to have me, her bf, and another guy around at her place. We would turn the lights off nd just play around. BUT wenever we had these get togethers, her bf would go straight for me. Grabbing my boobs, nd like i sed fingering me 2. My friend was upset and thought he had feelings for me. But this was quite some time ago, so everything has settled down...oh nd about the jealousy thing, i agree partially bout wat mossy sed, but its not like that. Its hard to explain, but i wil do ma best..wen i told her i made out with that girl (it was a joke), she admitted to being jealous. Me and my friend always make out with each other at parties and stuff. But i doubt she was being protective because she knows that the girl isnt bi, only curious. I kno, our relationships r wierd haha..now bout the sex with her bf. Yesterday i decieded t ask her bout it (u kno, thats wat friends do :P) even tho its not the most comfortable topic wen u like someone SOO much!!! She told me sex was ok...she also sed she has been having trouble having orgasms nd she sed she even tried herself, nd its unfair that orgasming is so easy for me (i masturbate :P lol) nd in response to this i sed i can help her out with that cuz i kno exactly wat feels good (winkwink) lol i was just hyper and fucking around..although i would be willing to!!!. nd her bf isnt reli giving her so much pleasure. She then says that she wud still like to "experiment" with me (have oral sex, etc) and wud go forward with it if she wasnt "attached" (bf). She also sed that i must keep the offer open because one day the concept will arise..from wat i understand, she wants me, but cant have me because of her boyfriend. I kno for a fact that she wont end it with him for me. They have been together too long nd our society is REALLY judgemental!!! They r against bisexuals, gays, transexuals etc. I live in zambia which is not in south africa (im scottish/south african) but in central africa. (yeah im white lol) nd its a reli tight community. Like i sed, evry1 knows EVERYTHING!!!.. Anyway, a certain guy has taken an interest in me, nd i think i may give it a shot. Mayb it will help me get over her. I kno its not the best reasons to go into a relationship tho..anyways i look 4ward t hearing 4rm u guys!! Thanks again for evrything!! xxxxx
A
female
reader, lilly123  +, writes (20 September 2009):
 I dont think i agree with mossy although she could be rite like the fact that you have made out loads of times,she talks about having sex with you,being attracted to girls,being jealous of you hooking up with someone else,the looks and the little comments now all these feeling could be real but maybe she is too scared of loosing you if it doesn't work out or she could be confussed and scared of how she is feeling about another woman(not that there is anything wrong with being gay).
OR
It could be like mossy said she could just be bi-curious and because your such good friend she got confussed about her feeling for you.
Everyone in this situation always wont to no if the person had real feelings for them so if you wont to no ask now because it always comes out in the end no matter how hard you try to pretend everything is fine and the longer its bottled up the worse it will be when it come out, which is why friendships are never the same when one person has had their heart broken so there may be no saving it.
There is no rite answer on how to get over sombody it just takes time. Hope we have helped and let us know what you decide to do.
...............................
A
female
reader, mossy  +, writes (20 September 2009):
hey hun wow i must say i have the biggest respect for you ever! its really hard to talk about your emotions...i am and i am not in the same sitution as you but i would more then hapy to help you if ne way possible.i too am head over heels in love with my best friend bu unlike you dont have the courage to tell her. i know how it feels to be close to a friend espeically to a best friend and that you can tell her everything. first of all im sorry to hear how she hurted you but it semms to me she was just bi-curious and at the start wanted to be bi. however as you said she had sex with her boyfriend, to me she discovered that guys are the way to go she might feel dis urgh that she mightnt have felt for you..to answer the part you taught she was jealous theres a yes and no anwser.. reason i say this is becaue she is your best friend she is protective of you! she was prob making sure this girl was right for you and she wudnt screw you around.. yes mayb she was jealous at the time she might have she was bi bu hun i dont think she is sh is olny curios im sorry to say!she loves you very much simple reason i say this is because she hasnt ssaid nething and is keeping your secret. she doesnt want to ruin your friendship, yer so close and wants you to be there and have somebody to talk to when something happens, i know this is going to kil you whaen shes talking bout her sex life or that but you have to respet your friends choice in all this too..you'll be ok hun, you will get over her gna be hard but i see you are a very strong confident woman.i really want to stress one point tho what her bf did to you was wrong if he forced you and you didnt want to do it eventho it was olny playful. if i was you id watch him abit too and im not worring you im just pointing out.also love you are young and as hard as this sounds to you there are more girls out there..i am more then happy to answer any more questions for you...mossy xxxx
...............................
|
