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age
30-35,
anonymous
writes: Hello everyone, I have had a couple of issues for a long time, well, throughout my whole teenage life to be honest with you. I am a 19 year old female. This is going to be a long post so please read on, and bear with me.My problem is I cannot seem to ever have other female friends, and a lot...I mean like 90% of any females I've ever met or became friends with it's always the same situation ; they can be backstabbing, they talk behind other peoples backs, they can be really immature, they steal and flirt with other girls boyfriends, they can cause a ton of drama, they can be really evil to other girls as well and can be very mean for no reason.Now, please don't take what I just said the wrong way, I'm not trying to be so judgmental and I'm not saying that all girls are like this, but the majority of the females from my personal experience have been this way. High school was just awful for me, I was never a popular girl and never tried to be either, but girls in my high school were just a complete nightmare for me. I'm obviously not perfect, and I know nobody is perfect, but I just don't act like most of these females at all, I'm very different from them. I've had a lot of girl friends when I was in my first 2 years of High school and suddenly, a lot of drama got into our relationship, rumors spread, you know the usual, and every turned on me and me only and nobody was my friend anymore, I felt completely awful and hopeless. Now I know all of that stuff happens in probably every High school, that is just how High school is, I understand, but these situations have happened out side of High school even. Even just girls I have met over the internet or social networking sites, a lot of them have just been evil, drama filled, arrogant people. I have even had several girls steal and flirt with my boyfriends or people I was dating throughout the last 5 years or so, I've also had a couple girls try and break me and my boyfriends up. Why do girls do this?I probably sound pathetic I'm sorry, I have just been through so much unnecessary stuff with other girls, and I don't understand why it has to be like this. I have come to the point to where I just do not trust other girls. Can anyone else here relate to any of this? Should I just give up on trying to be friends with girls? I'm not sure what to do anymore because I feel like I've never had any healthy and trustworthy friendships with other girls and I'm really confused...Any thoughts?
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female
reader, Honeypie  + ♥, writes (16 March 2013):
 I would stick to having fewer but better friends if I were you.
I had very few female friends and quite a few male friends growing up, I just got along better with males. BUT the female friends I had (still have today) were the kinds that didn't stab people in the back, didn't gossip and didn't play into the whole being popular attitude.
Then again I was a pretty nerdy girl who spend her time reading, drawing, sports riding my horse and occasionally hanging out with friends.
I would look out for girls who share your hobbies/passions and get to know them. To take friendships slow, just like you ought to with any relationship.
As for girls flirting and hitting on your BF's, well that happens some people have no shame, some just do't care. Now if your BF flirts back, well isn't THAT on him then? You have to accept that you CAN NOT change how people act, what people do. All you CAN control is how YOU act and what you do/say. So if you don't like when people gossip, don't do it yourself. Tell people who are trying to get you to gossip that you don't like gossip.
It is possible to have friends of both genders who are drama free.
A
female
reader, cute angel  +, writes (16 March 2013):
 Hey OP,
I'l be honest with you I have faced a lot of drama myself..but that's a part of life I guess,u can't escape it,it comes shooting back at you!
But then as the years pass by you meet some genuinely nice girls may be at work or different walks of life and it makes u think 'why haven't we met before'..but yes drama do exists there is no denying that,it can get worse to the point where you just want to run away from it all,but be brave stick thru it,even if it means you fighting the battle alone..as years pass u'l definitely realise who you can get along with,what type of people you can't!and don't give up on making 'girlfriends'as yet cuz no matter what everyone does need to have one that she could share anything with,may be abt her date,go shopping,problem at work,may be a promotion or something just insignificant but needs to be shared..I'd say stay in there 0P..don't lose hope!I promise u won't be disappointed x
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A
female
reader, Dayzee +, writes (16 March 2013):
I'm sorry that you have had bad experiences with female relationships. Unfortunately you are part of a modern culture where care for others, courtesy, modesty and some other human virtues are no longer prized or cultivated, and a culture of bullying is thriving. People are admiring celebrities that are not good role models, but are self-centred and hedonistic. I do believe however if you perservere you will eventually meet some females throughout your life who share similar values to yourself.
Where trust is concerned, keep your expectations realistic and know that it needs to be earned and measured. You can like and respect someone but without having to place ALL of your trust in them. (I love my children but I know I can't trust them with certain responsibilites.) Take your time with trust. Good luck. There are others girls like yourself who believe in treating others with care.
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