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Don't want this to backfire. Would sharing a room, with my male colleague, be risky for this holiday?

Tagged as: Friends, Trust issues<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (7 October 2015) 3 Answers - (Newest, 8 October 2015)
A female United States age 30-35, anonymous writes:

A co-worker/friend and I are going on a weeks long vacation together since its a place we found we both were dying to visit but had no one to go with.

The topic of hotel/hostel rooms came up, he specifically asked if we could just share a room. I agreed to it but didn't think much of it (I figured he was just trying to save some money and I am too) until my sister looked at me wide eyed and said, "don't you think he's going to try to have sex with you?!"

Now, I would be lying if I said I wasn't at least a little attracted to this guy. We do play and flirt around and anyone could see it... However, I do not know if the feeling of actual attraction is mutual. We have quickly become close, but there has been no sign that he wants an actual relationship. And to be honest, as much as I would love to be in a relationship with him (at least, I like the idea of it), I'm not sure how it would work out. We are in two very different places in our lives. I guess it could work, but it would be difficult.

In my mind, it is very likely he wouldn't even mention sex but now I'm wondering if I'm being a bit naive. If it happened, of course I would like it! And in the end if we DID try to make a relationship work, I would give it all I got.

But on the other hand I don't want sex to ruin a good friendship and I don't want anything to be awkward seeing as we work together (although in a different department so not too closely together).

The idea and worry of this has taken over my excitement of our vacation... I wouldn't make a move first but, if he did, should I turn it down (even though honestly I wouldn't mind and would enjoy it) for the sake of not damaging a friendship or emotions?

In any case, my emotions are a bit guarded in case something backfires...

View related questions: co-worker, flirt, money, my ex

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A female reader, Ivyblue Australia +, writes (8 October 2015):

Ivyblue agony auntSex is the first thing that came to my mind. Twin beds in one room is risky enough but sharing one bed, well…..!!!! There will be consequences lol. It can go either way, all good when you get back or all bad. Just up to you if you are willing to take a chance on the good and accept and move on for the bad.

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A female reader, Honeypie United States + , writes (8 October 2015):

Honeypie agony auntSince he is a co-worker I'd honestly try and keep the "romance" out of this vacation. You say you are going as "friends" so STICK to separate room.

Let's say he ISN'T interested in you in "that" way, how would you feel about him potentially asking a girl back to YOUR shared room? Yeah, not so lovely is it?

Stick to separate room.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (8 October 2015):

If you don't want to have sex, don't share a room. I think your sister is right!

If you want a relationship with him I think it should be established before any sex happens. Otherwise you could become a fuck buddy or ONS. (Unless that's what you want I guess?)

I don't understand how you have got the the point of going on holiday with just you and this man for a week, but never had a date or established you are interested in each other. Its seems the wrong way round to me. But then I like things cystal clear and simple!

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