A
female
age
51-59,
*luebell23
writes:Hi there!I recently went into hospital to have an operation, and my partner who I've been seeing for nearly a year has been looking after me and has been my rock really, well I noticed in his inbox on facebook a message from his mate asking how he was etc etc then he asked ....How's your lady?My partner then replied...she's not good as back in hospital, I'm giving it a wide birth lol...I don't need a lady lol I need a ho ho hoHis mate then replied....oooch-lool after her though it's only human-then Santa will bring you lot's of ho's haWhat do you think of this as I was really hurt, even if it was tongue in cheek and he is still very good to me but ho ho ho does that mean as in ho ho ho a laugh as this was around xmas time or prostitute?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (31 January 2013): To be honest i would take this kind of mannerism offensive. Its very obvious he is being disrespctful. I think you deserve to be treated better.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (30 January 2013): He probably did mean ho in the ho sense but it was probably aload of rubbish because he also said that he was keeping a wide birth which he obviously wasn't as he has been really good to you. So it is probably just
A front to look cool i would take it with a pinch of salt.
Hope this helps.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (30 January 2013): I think your partner may have meant shag when he said ho ho ho. If you replace ho ho ho with shag it will make more sense. He was just being a little crude and venting about his sexual frustration but I don't think he meant prostitutes at all.
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A
female
reader, Anonymous 123  +, writes (30 January 2013):
 I agree with the others too OP. Guys talk utter shit when they are together and while it sounds horribly offensive to us, its not a big deal for them. Its just guy talk.
Your boyfriend wants to have sex, plain and simple. Its not about prostitutes here, I'm sure he's not even thinking of cheating on you, he jut wants to get laid and he just expressed that in the most crass way possible to his friend.
I suggest you ignore this and concentrate on getting well soon. Don't worry about this, there's really nothing to get disturbed about. All the best to you!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (30 January 2013): I do believe your boyfriend meant the double entendre with the ho ho ho, but I wouldn't take it so literally. He is venting about sexual frustration to a male friend. Take it as a compliment that he is just looking forward to when you are healthy enough to have sex again.
I experienced something similar lately after my boyfriend had an operation for a hernia. He couldn't lift more than 10 lbs, he could barely walk around, and he wasn't much of an active sexual partner for 6 weeks right around Christmas.
As much as I tried to be understanding, it drove me crazy. I found myself yelling at him for vacuuming the house or attempting to do heavy lifting...I admit my concern (and he picked up on this) was that I wanted him well sooner rather than later so we could have a normal sex life again. You could perceive my yelling as callous and insensitive or you could see it as complimentary (...which I am lucky to say that he did)
I'm guessing because your partner has never displayed this sort of coarse humor around you, you're offended and feel he doesn't respect you. But have you ever had an honest, but unflattering conversation about sex with a man to your female friends or sisters? It's the same sort of dynamic. You say things believing you have a private and forgiving audience. The things you're hearing have little to do with you but have everything to do with his sexual frustration.
What I would keep in mind is that he IS taking care of you while you're ill and his friend seems to be take an interest in your well being which means that even among his mates, you are known as a first priority. Try to take look over the crudeness and appreciate that fact.
And I have to say, you've done wrong by reading his facebook inbox. Even if you were in a position to be upset, you'd have to admit you trespassed in a major way.
Good luck and get better soon.
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A
female
reader, bluebell23 +, writes (30 January 2013):
bluebell23 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionAnd his mate.....is he meaning that santa will bring him lots of prostitutes once I was better.....or lots of me????
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A
male
reader, eddie85  +, writes (30 January 2013):
 Sounds like your boyfriend needs to get laid.
I agree with CMMP, this is just guy talk at its worst. Most of us do it on one level or another and I wouldn't worry too much about it unless you have had problems with your boyfriend's indiscretions in the past. We do joke often about our need to get laid with one another and it sounds like you busted your boyfriend in the act of being a guy.
I'd write this one off as a childish remark...
Eddie
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A
male
reader, CMMP +, writes (29 January 2013):
What you have to realize is that guys "talk shit". It's called that for a reason. I love my wife but I wouldn't want her to hear every word that comes out of my mouth! She probably feels the same way.
I'm not one who's quick to dismiss things as "boys will be boys" but in this case I really think you should forget about it.
Why were you snooping on him? I'd say that of the two wrongs here, yours is actually worse than his. People need and deserve to have their privacy respected.
In this case violating that trust is what got you into this mess.
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