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Does my girlfriend really love me, or is she just using me?

Tagged as: Dating, Friends, Teenage, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (20 January 2010) 3 Answers - (Newest, 21 January 2010)
A male United States age 26-29, anonymous writes:

I'm in high school. In the beginning of the year I really wanted to have a serious relationship with a girl, and I thought I found her, but now I'm not so sure. My girlfriend and I have been going out for about a month and a half now, she's not a virgin, but I am. Were both 15, and I will be 16 in June. Is it really a big deal that I'm still a virgin at my age? I mean it sounds like everyone else is doing it, but I don't know if I'm ready. But anyway, some things I've noticed was that, in the beginning of the year alot of girls were telling me that I'm hot, and I'm just like, haha thanks. But I really wanted a serious relationship.

So I found this girl that I started to like, and went to the mall with her, flirting the whole time, and found out that I definitely knew she liked me, and I really liked her after spending that night together, so the day after that, we were texting and told each other that we really liked each other, and I asked her out and obviously she said yes. So thats how it started, and ever since then we would hang out and hooked up once, and always said like, "I love you baby", like it felt dead serious. But lately I've noticed some things that maybe I was just some hot guy, and my girlfriend felt popular around her other girl friends, but was just using me for that reason. Like she will always mess with me by insulting me in front of people like saying how stupid I am or something. She thinks its funny, but its really not. Sometimes she will ignore me, or get mad at me for no reason.

And yesterday I caught her flirting with some other guy, like touching him. Like I don't know, I feel like she doesn't miss me at all when I'm not around, but when shes not around, all I do is think about her. I mean I'm not saying she likes somebody else, every night she texts me and says, " babe I love you so much and am so glad I have you." But I never can tell if she is just saying that so I can believe that she loves me and I can trust her, or really could care less and just wants to say that I'm going out with that kid. And like some other dude behind my back. I'm nothing but nice to her and always show my love for her, but sometimes, I just don't know. What should I do about the whole situation?

View related questions: flirt, I love you, still a virgin, text

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A female reader, Duckyhelp United Kingdom +, writes (21 January 2010):

Duckyhelp agony auntSometimes girls can be a bit funny like that, insults - its hard to explain but sometimes its a sign of affection, like teasing and joking.

and as for the flirting, well, we humans naturaly flirt, the chances are she didnt even know she was flirting. And it doesnt even matter how much she loves you and flirts.

I love my boyfriend so much but i not on purpose, flirt with other boys. Cause thats what some girls are like, doesnt mean she doesnt think about u when ur not around, as she texts you every night to tell you, doesnt this show she was thinking about you?

Maybe try distancing urself more, so she has time to miss her, i know you will be thinking about her constantly but maybe space is whats needed? And also, through time, even if she doesnt love you now, love grows, youve not been going out that long, give her a chance :)

and as for the virgin thing, dont worry about it, and dont feel pressured to do it, most people dont have sex till their like 17. Always good to feel happy and secure in the relationship before doing it though, you dont wanna end up regreting it like so many teens do these days.

Hope i helped you x

P.S. if you ever want to talk to someone who knows a lot about teenage girls then feel free to contact me, or ask any questions at all, im happy to help x

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A female reader, AgonyAnne United Kingdom +, writes (20 January 2010):

Okay, confusing much?

umm....maybe you're right about your just some "hot" guy. Some girls are attracted to the hot ones physically only, but find everything they're looking for in a not so hot guy.

Try asking her about it, maybe watch her a bit closer see if she really is flirting, maybe she's just talking?

:)

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A female reader, UptonGirl United Kingdom +, writes (20 January 2010):

UptonGirl agony auntin my opinion i don`t think she does love you that much becuase if she did love you she wouldn`t insult you for a joke in front of people and she wouldn`t flirt with other boys. But i don`t think she would use you for that reason i think you should talk to her about it because if you keep it quiet nothing will change and the situation could get worse. a relationship needs trust, if you can`t trust her then its not a good sign

hope i helped x

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