A
male
age
,
anonymous
writes:I am a 50 year old WIDOWER with two children - an 18 year old and a 16 year old. I just engaged my girlfriend who is 44 and has an 18 year old. We live in our house - they live in theirs. We plan to marry late 2010, after her 18 year old goes off to college. I am thinking of sending my two children on a short trip abroad summer 2010 - to stay with a friend of mine I've known since college. My fiancee is infuriated that I'm doing this without consulting her.... she says all money, family, social etc... decisions should be mutual - now that we're engaged. I feel my obligations/decisions about my children reflect mine - and their deceased mother. My fiancee is associated and close to us all - but should she have a say in family matters she is not married into yet?
View related questions:
engaged, fiance, money Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Angzw  +, writes (8 January 2010):
She is wrong to interfere. Did you decide with her which college her child is going to? You have not moved in together yet and you still have a responsibility to your children so its not her decision to make. This is not the way to win over your kids... She should have no say or veto powers over anything you plan for your children, especially since she is not paying for it. If she comes into their lives with intention to be controlling then it is a recipe for disaster. You need to have a talk on how to handle these issues in future.
A
female
reader, unappeciatied +, writes (8 January 2010):
Sometime woman make a big deal out of nothing in order to establish change. When u guys were dating I assumed she kept her peace. Now that the relationship has elaborated she feels as if the scope of her title should also. Basically she is demanding for you to acknowlege her "promotion". Every woman does this at one point or another.Besides a ring, it distinguishes the difference between a girllfriend and a wife. This is technically her " Trail peroid and she is training for the official role as a wife and step-mother.
...............................
A
male
reader, RAINORFIRE +, writes (7 January 2010):
 shes got a point your marrying the broad for petes sake you could tell her your sending the kids away to Transylvania, maybe she is close to your chilldren and needs to prepare her self emotionaly for their absence.
Dont make a big deal of this swallow your pride a bit and just indulge her. tell her shes right you should discuss all family matters with her shes gonna be your wife after all.
...............................
A
male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (7 January 2010):
I think more than anything, it's not the she couldn't make the decision, it's that she feels a little left out, that's all. You are getting married, so communication is very important. I think it's just a case that she would like to be more involved because she feels you are already a family. Remember she is marrying you, so she's already committed. I'm not saying that she should make decisions about your kids. All I'm saying is that to make her feel like she's apart of your family, you do need to talk to her.
...............................
|
