A
female
age
30-35,
*Lienocka
writes:Hello,I realized I basically fell in love with one guy. He has been in a relationship for 3 years now. From the begining he did not tell me about his girl friend,so I was talking to him as to a single good looking and nice guy. Then I found out through my friend that likes him for past 4 years as well that he is in a relationship that no one can know about because of a their religion. Their parents would not acept them to be together. I asked him about this and then he agreed that all of that is true. That time I could have stoped it while I still could,now its too little too late. Since then we have been in touch basically 24/7. We have been talking online,texting,calling,he went clubbing with me (which he never does),he came around while I was home alone or came visit me to work. We have sent each other around 2000 texts per week. I am not being paranoid but he has been flirting with me,saying things like he misses talking to me,or he is thinking of me,etc. But then he tells me he loves his girl friend and he cannot break up with her. His girl friend is not a perfect girl friend either. She has got no friends, she has called him "dog" and she has told him she does not love him anymore,she is with him basically just because she has got used to him in her life and she cares about him,but its not love anymore. He also told me,if he would be single he wants to date me and that i am pretty and a very nice person and he cannot find anything bad about me. I dont know what to do..?! On a one side he is saying he loves his girl friend and he wants to be with her,but on the other he makes me feel like he is not that much into her anymore. I am just scared I am going to be the only one hurt here and I dont know what I should do. I have never been in a such a situation. Can you please help me?
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clubbing, fell in love, flirt, text Reply to this Question
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female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (8 April 2011):
 Classic standard DC answer but the fact it's repeated so often does not make it less true : Actions speak louder than words. Mind what he does, not what he says. He can say all he wants, and put it in music too, but the fact is, has he left his gf ? No. He is still with her. Whatever are his reasons, you should not care, he is still not free. And yes, you are the one who's gonna get hurt.
A
female
reader, 9Lienocka +, writes (8 April 2011):
9Lienocka is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks for the advices,i wish more people would answer my question as well,because more people different opinions and better making of decisions...I am very glad you answered me and made me think about it more,thanks alot.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (8 April 2011): End it now. You're interfering and he is a cheater/liar. Best to take yourself out of the situation before it gets worse.
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A
female
reader, Sincerely Yours  +, writes (8 April 2011):
 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KLOmpgLmtP0
It happens enough to make a video out of.
Maybe it's not so bad with her, but he wants you too so he makes his life sound just a little more rough.
Or maybe he just feels trapped or comfortable.
Either way, you can't have what you want from him, unless he breaks up with her That's just all there is to it. he knows you, he knows what he likes, wants, and feels, and it looks like he's made his decisions. If things change, he'll let you know. Try to go for someone else, who is available.
!SY
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