A
male
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:I have caught my wife having text sex in the past, she is now secretly in contact with her ex, texting a lot whilst masturbating. I also discovered she has bought condoms, do you think she is having an affair? And what should I do?
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affair, condom, her ex, text Reply to this Question
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male
reader, dogstar  +, writes (11 May 2009):
It would be wise to speak to her in a calm public location and speak about your discoveries to her. Either she's having an affair or will begin one soon, sorry, it don't sound good.
I know someone who confronted his wife at their home, but his discoveries made him violent, he's now in prison for a life sentence..
It might be wise to have a close discreet friend or family member waiting within reaching distance to mediate your temper. confronting accused cheating spouses can change a person at any second so please be safe. Not saying you would become violent, but I'm sure my friend never thought that either.
And contact a divorce attorney as soon as possible. No one deserves to be cheated on, you deserve better.
good luck.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (8 May 2009): You have to in calm way, sit down with your wife and talk. I think you should do this an a semi public place, Why? it protects you from hurting her physically. I'm not sure if you can control your anger when she admits to it. Just for your protection I think. If she is cheating then you should way your options. Ask her where she wants to go with this. If she loves the other man then you have to start sorting out plans for parting ways. All the best!
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (28 April 2009): condoms = cheating.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (25 April 2009): I think that if she hasnt cheated on u already shes considering it.she also may be bored of sex and finding something new to do, however the condoms show a bad sign of shes maybe got in contact with her ex and has had sex or going to have sex with him. I think you should confront her and she'll probably admit to it when u tell her the evidence.Im sorry
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A
female
reader, ask.m  +, writes (23 April 2009):
 Unfortuately the signs dont look good.
From what you've said it sounds as though she is having an affair ..or certainly considering one. If these things are left to linger the doubts,uncertainty, and hurt usually get worse.
I think you should discuss your concerns with your wife. Hopefully this will lead to a straight answer. Which will then allow you to make some decsisons
GL
M
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A
male
reader, GrimmReality +, writes (23 April 2009):
 My friend.
I am sorry this is happening to you. Yes she is cheating
first thing you have to do is get yourself tested for STD's Simply put its obvious she is sleeping with somebody other than you. and while she may have condoms, who's to say that another man has even used them. Remember cheaters are liars as well.
Next I would suggest getting all of your ducks in a row by seeing an attorney as soon as possible.
No one deserves to be cheated on and it sounds like your wife(regardless if its emotional or physical) is doing just that. If she bought condoms...they aren't intended for you.
I am sure this is rough, but your wife does not love you. If she did she would'nt be flicking her own bean while reading texts from another man. It puzzles me as to why you put up with it in any capacity.
The Curb...find the closest one and kick this slut to it
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A
female
reader, bobbles32 +, writes (23 April 2009):
 Sounds like it, yup. I'm very sorry! Have a talk with her about it, and remember that you've done nothing wrong. Don't let her pin it on you. You deserve much better
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A
female
reader, togtog +, writes (23 April 2009):
Talk to her.
What do you have to lose? Finding out more about how she feels about things? Finding out that something is not quite right in her relationship with you?
Only by finding out what is going on with her can you even start to think about how to sort this out - and that will take quite a bit of courage from you - both in actually asking her and in listening carefully to what she has to say about what is going on...
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A
female
reader, Emilysanswers +, writes (23 April 2009):
Sounds dodgy as hell to me.
Confront her with what you know in a CALM way and ask her what is going on.
Good Luck!! xx
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