A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I need to know whether I should say something or just stay out of this. I was on a dating site and I saw my friend's bf on there. I made a fake profile and messaged him and he tried to pretend he didn't have a gf and asked me to hook up with him. My friend really likes hims so I don't know what to do. He deleted the profile after I said "you look really familiar, like someone who dates someone I sorta know" but I still have the conversation. I don't want my friend to be hurt but clearly hes not the awesome bf she thinks he is. Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (8 March 2013): Absolutely. That guy is scum.
If he wants to date a variety of women, then he should not be in a relatioship. Period. If someone doesn't call him out or hold him responsible for his actions, he will just keep going and hurting your friend. It's not fair to your friend and she should give him a real live up close and personal consequence and dump him because of the choice he made to be on a dating site when in a relationship. Your friend deserves someone who will be faithful and trustworthy.
A
female
reader, Honeypie + ♥, writes (8 March 2013):
 Since he deleted the profile it's going to be tough to prove it to her and thus it might create more drama then you are wanting. If you had not told him he looked familiar you could just have emailed her the link to the profile.
Did you take screen shots? If not, I wouldn't tell her yet. If he did this once, he will do it again, however I wouldn't engage in talking to him - I would just forward her the link. Let her decide.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (8 March 2013): Im the original poster. Thanks to all for your input. And to clarify further, it was more of a "hookup" dating site and it didn't say his name. The picture he had on only showed part of his face so I wasn't totally sure it was him. That's why I made the fake and asked him his name and some other questions that made me know it was him. I didn't want to upset my friend if it was some guy that just looked like him. I should have copied the profile, but I have all our conversations so clearly she will know its him by his answers. Now how do I tell her? Its spring break and they have all these plans. Do I wait til break is over so I don't ruin it for her? Its killing me holding this secret.
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A
female
reader, deirdre  +, writes (8 March 2013):
yes, and if u are worried she will be angry at u then find a way to do it anonymously (different email address for example)
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (7 March 2013): yes you should
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (7 March 2013): Hello, well if I was in your position I would have most likely told my friend that I saw that her boyfriend had a profile on the online dating site and let her and him deal with the situation. I wouldn't have taken it as far as making a fake profile and messaging him, because I'm pretty sure he is talking and maybe even trying to get with other girls anyways, but I know you are just looking out for your friend, so messaging him isn't really an issue, the issue is he is in a relationship and active on an online dating site, which his girlfriend should definitely be aware of. But now since he has deleted the profile, I don't really know how you could prove this to her. I would maybe just leave it alone for now and if you happen to see he has made a new account on the site, just tell your friend ASAP, and leave it at that. Good luck!
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A
female
reader, llifton +, writes (7 March 2013):
 you definitely need to tell her! hopefully you still have the messages from this guy to prove everything! problem is, sometimes, once you delete your page from a dating site, it removes the profile picture and everything, so that it will no longer show up in your inbox. it'll show that the person no longer has an account with a blank box where this picture would be. so if your friend is not wanting to believe you and turns on you, you don't have exact proof.
anyway, i would still tell. she needs to know her boyfriend sucks. lol. good luck.
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A
male
reader, CMMP +, writes (7 March 2013):
Of course you should tell her!
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A
male
reader, Xearo  +, writes (7 March 2013):
Well you are kinda in it already. You could have just told your friend about the profile before you took action and let her make her own decisions. Now that he deleted the profile he might just say it was fake or it was a long time ago, essentially lying to cover his tail or he may confess you never know. I think you may as well tell her since you put the effort to message him anyway.
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