A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I have been with my boyfriend for almost a year now, and he is the only person I have slept with. However, before we started dating, he was in a relationship with a girl I knew from school, who I have now became good friends with. My boyfriend is absolutely fine about this. Although, the other day she told me that he was the first person she had slept with. The thing is, he told me that I was his first, when she is saying that he was her first !! What do I do ?? I am a little upset and angry and confused! Am I over-reacting ?? Do I tell him that I know or do I just forget about it and move on ?
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female
reader, xapathyxrebornx +, writes (18 October 2007):
 be care fult his friend may indeed be lying...
same thing happened to me and my boyfriedn got quite pissed off i didn't go to him straight away...
but anyway if you do ask your boyfriend just like tread steadily like.
Also with him saying you were his first...it was probably to make you not feel so inexpierienced, like to help you hun x
A
reader, anonymous, writes (10 October 2007): I think he probably said this to make your first time special, I don't think it was a deliberate lie.
Beware though, how many 'others' has he shared his first time with.
I think if you have no plan to split up with him over it then you should tell him you know he slept with her, and thats fine but if there are any others he needs to come clean now.
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A
female
reader, happytochat  +, writes (10 October 2007):
Dont jump to conclusions just yet, the 'friend' may be lying. Perhaps she has secret feelings for your bf and wants to ruin your relationship by making out as if he lied???
Its understandable that you would be feeling upset, confused and angry in this sitition. If he did lie then tht brings up many issues in your relationship.
You shuld confront this. Dont just shove it to the back of your mind and pray you will forget...because you wont. Tell him what this girl said and see what he has to say for himself. More then likely I bet he will deny having had sex with her...but pay good attention to his body language because you may be able to tell if hes lieing.
But just also remember that when you talk to him, dont let your emotions of anger and stuff get in the way, the more calm you are, the more accepting you will beand the higher chance of geting a honest response.
goodluck!
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (10 October 2007): Yeah that would definitely bother me if my bf lied about that. I mean surely there are worse things he could have lied about but I just don't think lying was at all necessary period.
I guess that rather than confront him about his sexual past I would simply confront him on why he he lied. I think that is the real issue. I mean I wouldn't want to be with someone who is a liar. No matter what, I think honesty is very important. It is not like you care whether he is a virgin or not. You just care that he respects and loves you enough to deal you the truth.
But also remember that it is up to you to be openminded and non judgmental when he is honest with you. Because if not, that is often a reason why guys conceal the truth. But definitely confront him cause if what she said is true then what he did was very wrong.
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A
male
reader, Tommy7  +, writes (10 October 2007):
Ask him about it. Otherwise, it will eat you both up.
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A
male
reader, Danielepew  +, writes (9 October 2007):
 Your friend could be lying. Or he could be. In any case, I think it's best if you let it go. There are more important things to worry about.
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