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Do I let him know I found him out?

Tagged as: Cheating<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (19 April 2017) 6 Answers - (Newest, 20 April 2017)
A female United Kingdom age 26-29, anonymous writes:

I've been with my bf for 2yrs now. He was sweetest, caring loving guy. I had couldn't ask for a more perfect bf. He started taking about us getting married and he got me a ring. I started doubting him cause I'd always dream of him cheating or leaving me. I saw dirty texts on his phone and he confronted him and he said it was nothing and his mum called me jealous and childish. He was always checking my phone and made a huge fight about my ex calling me. I felt like he never trusted me but I'm the most caring, loving and honest gf. He started get angry at me and picking fights and faults and dumped me last week. He gave me his tablet and yesterday I found naked pics and dirty texts that he has been having a relationship with another girl in a different country for 5years, he has been sending her money and talking to her daily and telling her he loves her. I feel so numb. I loved him, respected him and never did anything to him, we were planning for our wedding, I took him to my family. I'm so broken I don't know what to do. Should I take his ring and table to him and let him know I know what he's been doing all along?

View related questions: jealous, money, my ex, nude pictures, text, wedding

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A reader, anonymous, writes (20 April 2017):

Keep the ring for its gold, use the Tablet as a spare cutting board, text the other girl of his cheating on her if you can, say good riddance to him, and the 'proud' mother of a cheater!

Dry your tears and be free.

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A female reader, aunt honesty Ireland + , writes (20 April 2017):

aunt honesty agony auntHonestly you will look back on this and be so glad you found out before you got married. It will be difficult to get over this break up but no you hold your head up high and cut him out off your life. Don't return his belongings, he can do that himself. Cut him from your life and begin to process all this and move on, it will get easier my dear.

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A female reader, Nosliw_nire United States +, writes (20 April 2017):

I know the crushing pain your in right now sweetie, but trust me, it's better to have found out now then after your married and have a family. Return the ring, return the tablet. Leave up the pics or messages so he'll know you found them, but don't confront him. It'll be a huge fight and your going to be the one walking away hurt. Be strong sweetie

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A male reader, WiseOwlE United States + , writes (19 April 2017):

That's the kind of breakup that is easiest to get-over. You ducked a bullet! She probably doesn't know he was messing around with you the whole time! He's a player! They always flip the script when they get cornered. Deflect your accusations and blame all the bullsh*t on you!

The hardest part of a breakup is for the subconscious-mind to recognize and accept that it's over. In this case, your subconscious will switch from grief to good-riddance in record time. Y0u know what a humongous assh"le he really is.

I think you were too infatuated and floating around in la-la land to see him for what he really was in the beginning. Players always know how to appear caring and loving. It's their game.

You've got to get past the embarrassment and bruised-ego first. Then you'll realize the big favor he did you; and start focusing on your detachment and healing-process.

Imagine discovering all this mess after you're married!

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A female reader, Honeypie United States + , writes (19 April 2017):

Honeypie agony auntEnd it, dear OP - give him back the ring, end it and block all contact with him.

When you first caught this "oh so perfect?!" guy having dirty texts with other women you should have just left, but you didn't instead HE went on the attack and accused you of EVERYTHING HE was doing. Because that usually shuts a person up. And you know what? IT worked for him, you are still there.

HE has been in an ONLINE LDR for 5 years! So YOU are actually the piece on the side, not her. He is cheating on HER with YOU.

Why on EARTH would you want to marry this guy?

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A reader, anonymous, writes (19 April 2017):

Is it possible he gave you his tablet so you would find out what he's been up to? Maybe he wanted to hurt you further and cause a reaction from you. Give the tablet back to him without letting him know how hurt you are. Try to remain unemotional when you do it then leave, grieve and be thankful you dodged that bullet. You certainly deserve better. As for the ring, I would pawn it and keep the money as a big FU to him.

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