A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:Not sure if I'm just being jealous or if I have a reason to be upset. My BF who is recently divorced, no kids, shares a dog with his ex. She had him over Thanksgiving and on Thanksgiving Day he waited until I was in the shower to text her to "check on the dog". I specifically asked him if he checked on the dog and he said, no that the dog would be fine. Later on that day he said he had so I asked why earlier when I asked he said he did not and he said he thought I'd get upset. He also lied about the words exchanged. I knew he was lying so I checked later. He had told me he just wrote "hows the dog" and she wrote back "good" and that was it. He had actually wrote "happy thanksgiving, how our boy" and she wrote back in detail how the dog was. Why lie? I asked why he had to wait until I was in the bathroom and he said so I wouldn't get upset but he does it often, contacts her when I'm not around so now I always think he's doing it and I'm paranoid.
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divorce, his ex, jealous, text Reply to this Question
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female
reader, TasteofIndia +, writes (1 December 2008):
 I'll just say this - I got a dog with my fella. If we broke up and he ended up with her, I would definitely keep in touch with him. It wouldn't be "it's just a dog" situation to me - my I get super connected to my pets.
I would not necessarily call his texting his ex JUST about the ex. I mean, it's his dog! Yes, the lying is completely UNCOOL, but I just don't think that his text was too flirty or anything. It seems friendly - do they have a good relationship? Does she like you? The words of the text sound like something that I could write to an ex who I was friendly with and with who I co-owned a beloved dog.
My two cents!
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (1 December 2008): Sounds to me like the dog is just an excuse to keep in touch with his ex. If they were together a long time he probably still has some emotional ties to her, even if it's not love. You need to talk it out, tell him it bothers you for him to text her when you're around, and ask him not to do it. If he continues to do so that will show an utter lack of respect for your feelings. As far as him texting her when you're not around, you have no control over that, so just try not to think about it or make a case out of it with him. They're exes for a reason, so I wouldn't be too worried about them getting back together. It just sounds like contact with her is a hard habit to break, but eventually he will have to (and want to!) do so.
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A
female
reader, leni  +, writes (1 December 2008):
you are not being paranoid, he is contacting the ex and lying about what was said! it is not as if they have a kid together, its just a dog. i reckon you are much better than what he is expecting you to put up with! go girl!
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A
female
reader, thatgothgirl20 +, writes (1 December 2008):
 You have every reason and right to be upset, because he is not being honest with you. It's not even about his ex, it's about him not being honest with you.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (1 December 2008): hey,i think he just did not want to hurt your feeling thats why he contacts her to ask about the dog when ur not arround.the important is that you know every time he contacts her the reason would be the dog,also there is no need for jealousy because if he wants her he would not be with you now but with her.
i hope happy life for you
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