A
male
age
,
*en1043
writes:I had been going with my girl friend for over 3 years, she 55 years old. and I'm 70. she got upset on valentine day because I didn't bring her flowers. She made feel like a fool that night. I reminded her, I alway brought her flowers every Monday morning to her office. I texted her a message telling her the truth about my feeling, and how I felt that night. Two days later she decided to break up me. She said she was having draw backs from her previous marriage. She claimed she started going with me right after her divorce was final. she said in the last 3 years she has changed and would like to have time to feel free of any obligation and a relationship. she said at first I made her happy and laugh a lot. She also said I was the kindest man she had ever known. My question, how can any person change when they were so happy 3 months ago. should I wait. I did tried to talk with her to come back for 3 days when I heard she was in a depress mood at her house, and now she won't communicate with me. any suggestions.
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male
reader, Sageoldguy1465 +, writes (8 March 2014):
 Those women who are still on the edges of being fertile are just the craziest to deal with.......
Give her ONE more chance to win you over... and, if she fails to "take the bait"... dump her and go on to the next one.....
After all..... we (old guys) are precious gems to women, since THEY outlast us - for the most part - so (they) are desperate for those of us who have lasted this length of time....
Good luck.....
A
female
reader, like I see it +, writes (8 March 2014):
 I'm sorry to hear you are going through this...
Unfortunately if she no longer wants to be in the relationship, she has the right to leave, regardless of your feelings about it.
It doesn't sound like this is actually about the not getting flowers on Valentine's Day. She needed an "out," a reason to give you for why she wants to end the relationship. You sound like a good person who has treated her well and it probably took her a while to find something she could make a big deal out of... this just happened to be it.
From what you've written you haven't done anything wrong, and it's quite possible that her issues from her past marriage are the main/only thing holding her back from happiness with you. Unfortunately that's her call to make.
You don't mention how long she was married, but in general it's not a good idea for a person to begin dating right away after the end of any relationship, even a brief one. Most people need some time to heal emotionally from such an event EVEN if they were the one who made the decision to break up, file for divorce, you name it. Getting into a new relationship immediately afterward is like putting a band-aid on a deep wound and expecting everything underneath to resolve on its own. The surface may stop bleeding, but the flesh beneath may still be painful and infected.
I'm sorry to say that all you can do at this point is give her the freedom she has asked for. It's possible that she will reconsider and come back to you. It's also possible that she is gone for good. Reach out to your friends and family for comfort, and in the meantime keep your options open. There maybe someone out there waiting who is perfect for you and would never dream of causing you pain.
Good luck and best wishes.
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A
female
reader, Daisy_Daisy  +, writes (8 March 2014):
 Hi
Sorry to read this. I don't think you should hang around and wait. From what you've written, it sounds like you met her when she was at a low ebb from the divorce and you were her rebound relationship, making her happy and laugh and boosting her self confidence.
In the 3 years, she has changed/ recovered from her divorce, and now - unfortunately for you - she wants to start a new chapter in her life where she's free and independent.
There is always the outside chance that she has met someone else, though that suggestion may be doing her an injustice.
If she is not communicating with you, then definitely step away and accept that it's over.
Good luck to you.
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