A
female
age
22-25,
anonymous
writes:HI, my name's Olivia and recently, I went for this competition where I met this boy who I talked to. And afterwards, we talked on facebook for a couple of weeks and we met once after that for a movie with some of our mutual friends. He confessed that he had a crush on me. I then told him I liked him too. But the truth was, I didn't know if I really liked him.I thought it was odd that he would have a crush on me because we've hardly talked in real life. I've only talked to him twice in real life and although I have mutual friends with him, I know his school and I have ex-classmates in his current class, I still am not sure if I really trust and like him. I think he's a really nice person so when he said that he didn't mind a relationship and asked if I wanted one, I didn't reply him because I didn't want to reject such a nice person's offer. At the same time, I'm so confused about everything. I'm only fourteen. Do girls have relationships so young? Is it normal to like someone whom you've not really known for a long time? Do girls have crushes so young? Should I go for this relationship? What if I get hurt? Thanks in advance for the help :)
View related questions:
crush, facebook Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (23 June 2013): All of this is good advice. Nobody has mentioned that you said" I just didn't want to reject such a nice person's offer." I understand this feeling, but I don't think it equals the desire to date this boy. If you spend more time getting to know him, with your other friends around, you will be able to make a better decision. That will give you much more self respect at the same time. Some girls are way too quick to " go with" any boy that asks, for all the superficial reasons. It's wonderful that you aren't very tempted by these silly reasons. ( being cool, needing the attention, enjoying the power of boys attraction)... If this is your true feeling, that you don't know him well enough, that's perfect.Wait until you are sure, about him or any other boy. The same goes for how much time to spend together, whether to kiss, etc etc. Don't be pressured. Do what you are completely ok with and nothing more.
A
male
reader, Fatherly Advice  + ♥, writes (18 June 2013):
 Hi,
What a serious contemplation you have had over this matter. You are unusual for your age. Actually in my experience 14 is a pretty average age for a serious crush. That is not the important part of your question. What you are really asking is "is it a good idea for a person my age to commit to a relationship.
A lot of my answer depends on your definition of a relationship. A relationship is currently defined as an exclusive dating agreement that may include sex. The important rule being that you don't date or become emotionally involved with any other person.
At your experience level I believe that you should not commit to an exclusive relationship. First reason is that you need to get to know more people. The fact that you go out with a group of friends is a good thing. I think that his offer of a relationship was his way of saying that he is serious about you. You can keep doing things with him, if fact I think you should.
A quick word about sex. Your level of trust with him is nowhere even close to where it would need to be for a sexual relationship.
FA
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (18 June 2013): Hi!
I answered a question a while ago, and I feel all the advice given applies to you as we'll :)
http://www.dearcupid.org/question/is-it-strange-or-just-a-part-of.html
- My opinion on Relationships is that you shouldn't look for one, or let what anybody says about them dictate to you that you need one; they're a emotional strain and take a LOT of emotional effort, not to be take on lightly, as in this guy- "he doesn't MIND a relationship?"
How touching and romantic ... I don't think. My advice is pursue your own path in exploring interests, meeting others and developing principles and morals, leave relationships for the time being, shape your life around yourself :)
Good luck! X :)
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (18 June 2013): "Do girls have relationships so young?" They do, and they can lovely things too if the guy is respectful etc.
"Is it normal to like someone whom you've not really known for a long time?"
Of course, attraction can be instantaneous and chemistry can develop quite quickly.
"Do girls have crushes so young?"
That's easy, how many of your friends gush over Harry styles or Justin Beiber etc. You don't have to know someone to have a crush do you? You don't have to know someone to feel an attraction for them or for them to seem really lovely in a way that makes you want to spend time with them.
"Should I go for this relationship?"
Not while you're unsure. Maybe you will grow to like him as more than just a friend, but you have to take your time and get to know him properly first. So don't say yes, but don't say no. Date him instead. You know? Go bowling, the cinema, have dates but don't put a label on it until you feel you want to be his girlfriend.
That's how it's done really OP. It's far too soon for a relationship, so you just start dating and getting to know him properly and see where it goes.
"What if I get hurt?"
That's always the risk and that's why you casually get to know him and see how you feel the better you get to know him. Just be smart OP, have a trusted friend or even talk to your mom regularly and get advice. For example you go to the cinema with him, talk out all the stuff he said and did with your mom or your friend and see what they think of those things.
OP the most important thing to know about dating is your support network. you always need a trusted person or people you can confide in all the things that happened, so you can get a fresh perspective, you'll get good advice and you'll know what's best to do.
But most of all only get to know someone if you enjoy being in their company and they're fun, nice people.
It's far too soon for a relationship with this guy, so get to know him first, hang out with him, go do fun things with him and see if you end up liking him. Take your time, relax and enjoy yourself OP.
...............................
A
female
reader, sugarplum786  +, writes (18 June 2013):
 Honey you are young but most important it depends on the maturity at that age. If you are not ready, tell him so and also say you would like to start as friends and considaer dating once yourll get to know one another. Dont do anything you dont want and not comfortable with.
Relationships at such a young age can work out and at times fail and when it fails it can leave a bad scar. You are best to determine in your position do you want a boyfriend and what boundries you will set for yourself. Also young boys can persuade a a girl at your age into sex and you just may not be raedy for it.
Try keeping things at a friendship level and see if this can develop. Dont put any pressure on yourself.
...............................
|
