A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Be honest guys, do you treat women who are prettier better/nicer/ with more respect than average looking women?I ask because my current partner of four years spoiled his partner rotten! Bought her anything she wanted and got into a TON of debt and was left humiliated when he cheated. With me he is really sparing with gifts, I rarely get anything and when I do it won't cost over ten pounds. Also, I rarely get birthday cards or anything like that. He does however, let me live at his house for free and I dont pay any bills or groceries so thats something I am really grateful for and I tell him all the time. The difference between me and his ex is that his ex was STUNNING and I know that he went out his way to please her not just with things, but also wrote her cards, poetry, got her flowers, took her on holidays, completely furnished her house, supported her kid (not his) and so on and so forth. It got to the point where her family were calling him her personal ATM! With me he is more like a good mate, we dont really have sex that often and we just really spend time hanging out and having a good laugh. He says he loves it... but I know that it's not the same because I'm not as gorgeous.
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female
reader, dmartin89 +, writes (28 June 2011):
 Sounds to me like hes learning from previous mistakes!
A
reader, anonymous, writes (28 June 2011): Hi. Yes, I think this happens; men can be pretty shallow and they love to have a good looking girl, who wouldn't?!
However, it doesnt sound like his relationship with her was very healthy. I mean, if you have to buy your way round someone that is not good. It is much healthier if things are equal.
Me and my bf treat eachother occasionally but most of the time we go half on things and that includes meals out and groceries. Sure, he spoils me occasionally but it would make me uncomfortable if it was alot of the time; I like to be independent and for me it is essential to my self esteem, y'know, work hard, treat myself
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A
female
reader, Jen1689  +, writes (28 June 2011):
 Men do tend to spoil women with good looks. Ever notice how people with good looks don't rely a lot on intelligence or personality to get ahead or build relationships? That's why. Your boyfriend was probably in a relationship with a girl who was stunning, and who he was happy to have as a trophy to have others ogle, but in reality they probably had nothing in common and didn't make sense as a couple. It was honestly probably the only way to keep her happy. He could've been insecure and didn't want to be alone at the time. He could've also stuck around for her child's sake. Maybe he's a really sensitive guy and hated seeing a child have a mother who didn't know how to properly care for it. There could be hundreds of reasons. The point is that he's happy with YOU now and doesn't NEED to spend thousands of dollars on you or write you lame poetry to express his love for you. Maybe he's actually happy with you and doesn't know how to even begin to describe it or express it. As far as the sex goes, just try sitting down and talking to him about it. Communication is key. I'm sure it's nothing to do with you. You'll be fine, Dear. Just keep in mind that you're 1,000 times the woman she will ever be because HE left HER and is with YOU now =) Good luck.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (28 June 2011): I went through something similar. My ex doted on his ex, bought her clothes, jewellery and worked hard to impress her. By the time they broke up, he felt taken advantage of and foolish.
It isn't personal. You'd do the same were the shoe on the other foot.
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A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (28 June 2011):
 Eh, scalded cat is afraid of cold water. Being so munificent did not work that well with the ex, and left him used, humiliated and lighter in the wallet. It's normal that he has learned from his mistake and proceeds with caution least he should repeat it. Luckily, what happened did not totally alter his generous disposition, because by offering you free rent, bills and groceries , he is still doing a lot for you and you surely can't accuse him of being a tigthwad.
Said that, not to make you feel insecure, yes I think beauty has a special power and gets special treatment. Blame society ,culture or nature, but physical beauty is perceived as rare and valuable , and like all valuable things gets special care, attention and validation.
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A
female
reader, Gabrielle Stoker +, writes (28 June 2011):
 It's one possibility - pretty women do get more attention (or else what's the point of being pretty?) though the attention can take different forms, not all as pleasant as that of a loving boyfriend.
I think it's something else, though. You've said yourself though that their relationship ended badly (I assume the 'he cheated' is a typo of 'she cheated') and somewhere in his mind is probably the feeling that he made the wrong moves by pampering her too much.
If you have a good relationship going, try not to overthink his relationship with his ex, who is after all his ex for a reason.
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A
male
reader, airwaterearthfirebender  +, writes (28 June 2011):
 Odds, I think you nailed it with this one:
"As for your general question, I'm usually *less* nice to girls as they get hotter. I'm not quite sure why, but they respond better to me being a bit more of an ass than I naturally am."
Now the ladies will of course deny it, but for the guys who have been all too nice they know the score..lol. I think this is the typical wanting a bit of the "bad boy" edge. So this is probably the sweet spot, a nice enough guy with just a bit of edge go keep her on her toes and perceiving you as more confident and making her feel important and special, but not to the point of being irreplaceable!!! You see, now you've gone and made me spill the beans.
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A
female
reader, RedAthena +, writes (28 June 2011):
 Has your partner given you any direct statements or clues that you are not spoiled as much because you are less attractive?
I think your esteem is speaking for you and the facts are not there to support it.
Maybe he learned from his last relationship that spoiling someone with things is not a good choice.
Maybe SHE was quite manipulative-and you arent.
Finally, stop comparing yourself to another person. That was another day, another person, another relationship. If you are not getting enough attention for YOUR satisfaction, speak up! Never compare yourself to another woman.
Best Wishes.
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A
male
reader, Odds +, writes (28 June 2011):
 She's his EX, not his current girlfriend. Chicks say they want to be spoiled, but I've found they actually grow to resent the guy doing the spoiling. He's probably learned his lesson after this, to gift you with his presence, affection, and loyalty, not his wallet. Even so, he's still giving quite a lot of material goods, as well. You're coming out ahead, here.
I'd try to initiate sex a bit more often, if you're not getting enough. Get him into the habit and cycle of doing it more often. And foreplay starts when you wake up - flirt before he goes to work, including physical contact (hold him from behind for at least ten seconds when he's cooking breakfast, or kiss him for at least 5 seconds). Flirt when he gets home from work, including more physical contact.
People respond very powerfully to touch. Same thing I tell guys - get physical all the time, not just when you want sex, and not only will you be happier in general, but you'll get laid more often.
That covers your specific case. As for your general question, I'm usually *less* nice to girls as they get hotter. I'm not quite sure why, but they respond better to me being a bit more of an ass than I naturally am.
I think that guys in general are nicer when they are afraid of losing a girl or getting rejected - even though that's a counterproductive strategy. Hotness is part of what determines how likely we are to be rejected, but not all of it.
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