A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I was in a relationship with my high school sweetheart for more than 9 years.It was a safe sweet comfortable relationship - too comfortable. But as usual career ambitions and growing up got in the way. Both of us were unhappy for the last 2 years of the relationship and in that the last one year he was in a different city. He was ignoring my calls and treating me indifferently. I was angry and shaken and we stopped communicating. I felt i was trying real hard to make things right and he just was not interested. Things got to a point where every talk over the phone was a fight and we ended up breaking up over the phone in July 2012. Like something out of a romance novel there was a colleague of mine. The perfect knight in shining armor. We had known each other for 5 years and he was someone i leant on during these periods. Being with him made me happy and feel light and i looked forward to spending time with him, I thought both of us were developing feelings for each other. He was the complete opposite of my exboyfriend and he made me come alive. I finally told him my feelings but he said he did not feel the same for me due to religious differences or else i was perfect for him. But we continued our friendship the same way, Though i was heartbroken. This happened about 6 months after my breakup. But he started taking me for granted and I felt since he knew i liked him he assumed I would be there for him and help him out with anything. We started having cold fights. And right now our friendship remains confused.A week ago finally my exboyfriend came down for a holiday and we met and spoke through our differences and he is very keen on us giving it another chance. Though he said we can take it slow my heart is partly into itI keep thinking about this other collegue who showed me a whole new world , who i was really happy with and who i couldnt go a day without seeing but i can never be with. On the other hand my ex has been my best friend for almost all my adult life, understands me more than anyone, but there is no spark - not even a little bitMy question is though I may never get to be with this colleague it breaks my heart to think of a relationship with out that spark which made my heart jump. I am scared I will never be able to get over this and move on . Or worse I will have to settle for a safe relationship which is not good for both parties involved. I am feeling so lonely and alienated.Will this feeling ever go away?Can i ever forget this guy - I dont know!! Please helpI have officially dated just one guy - my exboyfriend until now.
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ambition, best friend, heartbroken, move on, my ex, period, spark Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (24 June 2013): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks a lot sugarplum. you are right though I dont want to pine for him, the memories and time we had was something I felt I would find only in my soulmate. Its hard to let go of something and move on with such high expectations in my mind. I am in a way afraid I will never find this kind of companionship ever.
A
female
reader, sugarplum786  +, writes (24 June 2013):
 Honey, the colleague has been honest and told you there is no hope for a relationship. So its no use pining for him, but to cease contact with guy and move on.
If you feel something is missing in the relationship with the ex BF why are you even considering getting back with him. You need to move on and one day will meet someone that can rock your world.
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