A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:im in relationship with w for more then five years. the only thing i promised him was that i will never leave him or for sure i will never betray him. but i will leave him if i get to know that he is with other girls. if any girls cross into our life. he always traten me that he will go to thailand for prostitues if i do anything that he dont like. for example goin out with my friend like watertheme park all girls. goin for dinner at night with girls. he may use other excuse but i dnt knw y is he keep on entioning about thailand and prostitutes. i already talk him so many times that i dnt like that . but he keep on doing that. im jus confused.
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female
reader, So_Very_Confused  +, writes (30 April 2013):
 Honey he's manipulating you and it's practically abusive.
personally I would tell him to go to Thailand and not come back.
he uses these threats against you because you let him have that power.
First of all you gave up any power and control by promising to NEVER leave him. That's a crock. If he murdered someone you loved like one of your parents because he felt like it would you stand by him? I doubt it. So the promise you made to stay with him forever is not really a true promise either.
His threats to try to get you to do what he wants are much like your promise to stay no matter what... bogus.
I would just laugh in his face and say "go ahead and then I can leave you" AND MEAN IT.
A
female
reader, Honeypie + ♥, writes (30 April 2013):
 Because he knows YOU won't leave, no matter what. So he treats you however he feels like treating you.
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A
female
reader, largentsgirl89 +, writes (30 April 2013):
 He feels the need to control you and can't do that if you're at ladies night. Prostitutes in Thailand? Who would want anything from Thailand, let alone sex?
I would leave this guy. It's only going to escalate, his need for control. He is trying to control what you do, where you go and who you hang out with, this is never a good sign.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (30 April 2013): Listen confused you don't need to be treated like this by this Neanderthal. Which cave did this dummy pop out of. If he is visiting prostitutes then don't let him get his poker anywhere near you. If he has threatened he has probably already visited the ladies of the evening. Pack his stuff up and tell to get the hell out of your place. You have done nothing wrong as far as I can see. Good-luck.
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A
male
reader, CMMP +, writes (30 April 2013):
He's a jerk. Feel free to break your promises to him, since you can never really promise something like that.
If you keep that promise no matter how he treats you, you'll be in for a lot of pain.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (30 April 2013): If I was you I would pack his bags and tell him to get his ran over shoes and clothes and get his ran over ass out my house!AIDs are out here and if that's his choice so be it girl leave.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (29 April 2013): "im jus confused"Very simple, he's a controlling bully and you're a willing doormat playing right into his hands by vowing never to leave him while giving him the exact ammunition that he needed to use against you (the threat of sex with other women) to keep you in line, which he then twisted into borderline sadism by increasing the depravity of his threat. He'll never change and he will only escalate his control over you, and if threats of patronizing Thai prostitutes doesn't keep you under his thumb then he will likely attempt to exert physical control.Contact a women's shelter or domestic violence hotline. You lack the insight, information and knowledge you need to understand what he is doing to you and to make a clean, final, safe break from a controlling abusing bully.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (29 April 2013): Sounds like he has Thailand and Prostitutes on the brain. He also probably keeps bringing it up (not only because it is a fantasy of his) but because he knows it affects you - so he is using it to emotionally blackmail you and keep you in check. In reality - if he is literally going to cheat on you (and fly half way around the world in order to do so) than he would have done it already. As you are in a relationship and if you think this is the guy you will be with for the rest of your life, you need to honestly consider his feelings. You need to realign both your goals and you need to figure out what is causing him the anxiety (have you given him a reason not to trust you)? It sounds like he has some emotional jealously/control issues. You need to reclaim your power back - while you don't need to necessarily hurt him by doing this, you do need to train him that what he is saying/doing to you is hurting you and that sometimes you do need to spend time with your friends but it doesn't mean you don't love him. Ultimately you need to realize that he is just using it as a threat, and unfortunately you need to call his bluff and tell him to go do it but if he does, the consequence is that you will no longer be in his life. Going out for a meal with your friends does not equal him cheating on you and if he wants to convince himself that it's ok - then it's better you find this out sooner rather than later.Out of curiosity, has he been to Thailand before? If he had a good experience with a prostitute there, maybe you should figure out how he felt when he was there (what did she do, or say, how did she make him feel) - as he might just be wanting more sex, or wanting you to give him that girlfriend experience that only high-class escorts or prostitutes can provide (a fantasy girl that will love him unconditionally and pamper his every desire and stroke his ego for the hour - although unfortunately he might want this 24x7 for the rest of your life and in that case maybe he's better off paying for it somewhere else).
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