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Condoms in his wallet change? Is he cheating?

Tagged as: Cheating, Dating<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (1 November 2012) 7 Answers - (Newest, 2 November 2012)
A female Australia age 26-29, anonymous writes:

My boyfriend is 19 and I am 18. We've been together for around 5 months now. Im his first girlfriend. He is so gentle, caring and affectionate, and is generally a very nice guy. We get along exceptionally well, and it has been this way since the beginning, almost as if we had known each other longer.

Although it hasn't been a particularly long relationship so far, we only see each other once a week still, which bothers me and I have spoken to him about it once before. He only lives less than 5mins away.

We don't exactly speak to each other THAT often during the week anymore either, every couple of days.

He was initially very quick at wanting to meet my parents/me meet his etc. which I thought wasn't a bad thing.

He works a lot, which I originally understood was the reason for not being able to see each other that often, to which I was fine with. He has to work. But for a while now, he doesn't work anywhere near as much as he used to and he goes out with friends every night after work. He spends one of those nights/days with me.

I would have thought that maybe it was just for sex, but we haven't yet and we're both virgins. We have done everything except for intercourse, because whenever we try, he loses his erection moments before it happens. He's maintains one perfectly if sex isn't mentioned.

The thing that's gotten me slightly worried though, despite the fact that I thought he'd be cheat proof at the moment (I can't even have sex with him), is the fact that the condoms in his wallet change? I know we certainly haven't used them, but whenever I get one out for us to potentially use, I notice that sometimes it's different to last time. What could be going on? Should I confront him about it? Or not worry? They aren't in his wallet long enough to be past expiration date!

View related questions: both virgins, condom, erection

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (2 November 2012):

I just would like to congratulate you on your investigation skills. I could have made the same mistake if I was cheating. I'm not bad at removing the evidence, but the history of my wallet being recorded, I would never thought of that!

By the way, talk to him. Your evidence is concrete. If he is actually cheating, he will be shocked and he won't be able to make a false excuse.

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A female reader, Love. United Kingdom +, writes (2 November 2012):

Love. agony auntMy boyfriend has them in his wallet, and we haven't had sex yet, he told me he keeps them for a just in case moment hahah. Totally nothing to worry about. If you are worried just ask him.

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A female reader, person12345 United States +, writes (2 November 2012):

person12345 agony auntI wouldn't worry about it right now. He probably just carries them "just in case" and has performance anxiety.

HOWEVER, as a warning bring your own condoms!!! Condoms stored in wallets are weakened by the heat from his body. It's better than nothing, but bring your own.

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A female reader, KittieS United Kingdom +, writes (2 November 2012):

KittieS agony auntOk so your going into his wallet (whilst normally why is she going through his wallet would come to mind) he is obviously happy with this?

My thoughts are this..

1. Potentially he is using the condoms on himself whilst masturbating to see if he can last longer. As he's worried with you he might not be able to last long enough if he is a virgin

Or

2. He is cheating on you, sorry that's hard to hear but its a possibility

I think, you should go for a coffee or a drink and tell him your ready for sex with him, that your as nervous as him as its your first time. Judge his reaction. Only you can sense if he's telling the truth

From personal experience, I was 19 when I lost my virginity the person I was with had slept with one person before, it was 3 weeks before I was ready and at which time when I was he took a 15min drive to get condoms, and then was very nervous. Your first time must be special and if your doubting him now be carefull lovely, be sure it is what you want

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A female reader, cgrlygo United States +, writes (2 November 2012):

cgrlygo agony auntThe fact the condems keep changing is of concern...but, if you are taking them out to potentially use them....well ..are you guys opening them...or returning them to his wallet? If your returniwtyem and he comes back with different ones well in my opinion you should find out. Just ask him ....but he's obviously isn't after sex...but something is ammis ...I really think you need to sit and chat. Sounds to me like your a side girl.

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A male reader, DV1 United States +, writes (2 November 2012):

DV1 agony auntSounds like he's got a case of bad nerves... performance anxiety so to speak. Most guys (myself included) carry a condom in their wallets. It's a regular occurrence, and nothing to be worried about. We do it as a just in case type thing... As long as they're not used condoms in his wallet, you've got nothing at all to worry about.

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A male reader, DV1 United States +, writes (2 November 2012):

DV1 agony auntSounds like he's got a case of bad nerves... performance anxiety so to speak. Most guys (myself included) carry a condom in their wallets. It's a regular occurrence, and nothing to be worried about. We do it as a just in case type thing... As long as they're not used condoms in his wallet, you've got nothing at all to worry about.

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