A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I was involved with someone casually for a few months and he finished it. But recently he got in contact again to ask how I was. I finished the conversation by making it clear I did not want to stay in contact.My question is how can i be sure I did the right thing? I do like him a lot but I think he was checking to see if I would engage with him and he could start a casual thing up again. Am I too cynical?If he has had a change of heart and actually misses me will he pursue it? Reply to this Question
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male
reader, Sageoldguy1465  +, writes (23 December 2013):
 You ask: "...My question is how can i be sure I did the right thing?..."
You've asked us (Aunts and Uncles).... and HERE is the answer: YES, you did the right thing.... and will continue doing the right thing if you ignore him....
This is one of those clear-cut cases wherein his sex life is in a drought, and he thinks (or, knows) that you will be his conquest if he just asks you... Don't answer (him)...
Good luck...
A
female
reader, MyDaysOnceRevolvedAroundYou +, writes (21 December 2013):
 If this guy had wanted you for anything more than a casual hook up honey he would have tried his ultimate best to keep the conversation going even after you had quite clearly tried to blow him off. You deserve to like someone who will fight for you and really put a mass investment of his time into you. Not someone who clearly is not interested in anything sincere.
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A
female
reader, AuntyEm +, writes (21 December 2013):
 If he really wants to begin a relationship with you I am sure he would have been more insistent.
People often get in touch this time of year, especially singles. If he hurt you then it's not really worth risking getting involved again but if he makes contact again, unless you hear what you want to hear, it would be prudent to avoid him.
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A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (21 December 2013):
 No, I don't think you were too cynical.
If you were only involved casually for a few months.. and you never made it to something more than "involved casually ".. plus he was the one to break up, I think that what he may be wanting is more of the same : casual involvement ( which I take it to mean, basically, no strings sex- but maybe I am the one who's too cynical, here ). So, if you were not happy with that arrangement, I think you made the right decision. Since it is highly unlikely ( although not impossible, these things do not have unvariable rules like mathematics ) that out of the blue he just saw the light and said to himself : oh no 1 I mase a terrible mistake ! She is the one !
I also think that if he HAD had this change of heart- he would have told you . I mean, I guess it must haave transpired , either before or right now when you answered him, that you are not overjoyed about doing the casual thing - at least not round two. So, if he had something different in mind would not have been natural for him to just tell you ?
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