A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hello Aunts.Recently Ive been spending a lot of time with one of my male friends, I guess at this point in my life he would be my best friend as I spend all of my free time with him. We both have feelings for another but until recently neither of us would really act on them. Well a few nights ago I was at his place with him and his friend, we were having a good time listening to music, watching movies ect.. Well it got late and he asked me to stay the night, so I said alright as long as his friend didnt mind cause we would all be in the same bed. Well we never ended up sleeping and he and I were cuddling while his friend played ps3. I could tell he wanted to kiss me but every time he tried whether he was shy or holding back I dont know, but then I decided id kiss him, so we kissed which led to french kissing and a little rubbing, nothing too bad. Then his friend went to sleep, and he played ps3 but had me beside him and occasionally we would kiss again, then he wanted coffee, kissed me before he left, came back and we cuddled. We both had things to do the next day, and he was texting me and I was really happy, but he said he was so tired he didnt remember a thing about the night, I know he did but didnt know if I should have brought it up, plus I was really hurt. So Ive been trying not to make things aawkward between us and have been not pushing myself on him. We were at a mutual friends place and my uncle stopped by because he's visiting from another country and he had asked me about a guy he ran into and I said on he has a thing for me, dont worry.Yet my friend snapped and told me I should go for him. So we didnt talk much because I felt awkward, he left and didnt say bye to me so I sent him a text saying thanks for saying bye, he replied bye.. I told him I knew he was grumpy and sorry for bugging him, then he said he had a lot on his mind. I know he does but obviously I want to help him. I dont know how to deal with the situation, hes very complicated and hard to talk to, I feel like I did something wrong when i didnt. Your opinions on the matter and advice on what I should do are appreciated.
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female
reader, YouWish  +, writes (28 July 2012):
 Is he with someone else? Does he have a girlfriend? Because his actions are consistent with someone who doesn't want anyone to know what the two of you did. Why, if both of you are single and available, would you have to hide your feelings for each other? What stops you from becoming a couple?
That's weird. There are usually only two reasons to hide:
1. Another relationship. He has a girlfriend or you have a boyfriend. That's a good reason to feign amnesia about what happened and never talk about it.
or
2. His parents wouldn't approve of you. This is seen more in either arranged marriages OR strong religious or ethnic beliefs where he can only marry someone of his ethnic or religious background, like a Muslim marrying a Christian or an Amish or a Jewish or a Romani person whose parents only permit them to marry the same, and would disown him for dating someone unapproved.
If either of these are the case, you need to back away. If neither of these are the case, then you need to go see him in person and say "Hey, what did you think of our kissing and cuddling on such-and-such a date?" Don't text him this. Talk to him and look at his eyes.
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