A
female
age
36-40,
*eebooger
writes:I am currently 26 weeks pregnant. I have not gained any weight but my belly has grown seeing how there is a baby in there lol. I've been with my boy friend who is the father for two years. Over the past couple weeks I've noticed our sex life is suffering. I finally brought it up the other day and he said he didn't like having sex because of my belly and the baby. I just wasn't sure how to take that and he later said that its really weird for him. I'm now worried that he may cheat bc he wants a womans touch where no belly/baby get in the way. I've never worried befor that he would cheat. He's a really good guy, the baby wasn't an accident and he is really excited. He sings to the baby and talks to him. His affection toward me hasn't changed just our sex life. I have several friends with kids and they never had this issue so talking to them hasn't been helpful. I guess what I want to know is can it really be so weird for a guy to sleep with his pregnant woman? Its been a week since we last had sex and he didn't get off. He got me off then rolled over and said we will finish this later.
View related questions:
sex life Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (21 October 2011):
 oh well if he's afraid of belly to belly contact then there are other postions to use...
check out scissors (dovetail) or use rear entry (not doggy style but side by side like spooning with him behind you...
no baby belly in the way!
A
female
reader, weebooger +, writes (20 October 2011):
weebooger is verified as being by the original poster of the question Thanks so much guys. This has really helped me feel a lot better about the whole situation. I was married before this relationship and have two kids from that marriage so its not so new to me but this is his first go round. I'm trying to be as understanding about everything bc I know it can be scary for men as well I just couldn't wrap my head around this issue. It mad me feel like he thought I was fat and disgusting. He does love on my belly a lot and tell me I look good but it makes more since now, thanks so much.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (20 October 2011): All men are different. Some LOVE the sight of their pregnant lady and find it the most sexy and attractive thing ever and can't keep their hands off them whilst others can't bare the thought of sex.
For the most part the guys who can't bare the thought of sex aren't finding their lady unattractive or wanting to cheat, generally its for fear they will in some way hurt the baby. A lot of guys find it odd, some even think they will some how "poke the baby", which of course isn't medically possible. Unless a doctor has told you you're not allowed to have sex then it is perfectly fine and will NOT harm the baby in any way.
...............................
A
male
reader, doublejack +, writes (20 October 2011):
When my now ex-wife was pregnant with our child, I found that the key to enjoyable sex is the positioning. Missionary and cowgirl were great early on of course, but when she started showing and later when her belly got big those positions were ineffective. I just didn't find them pleasurable and she wasn't comfortable.
Instead, I suggest doggie-style and spooning. The woman's belly is completely out of the way in those positions, and spooning in particular is comfortable for the woman since she can lay on her side.
Best of luck!
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (20 October 2011): It actually is common for men to feel weird about sex during pregnancy, especially if this is your first. There are several things that can be going on in a guy's head.
Firstly, they worry it will somehow hurt the baby. Like they are going to poke a hole in the baby's head or something. I know that sounds funny... but it is one of the things they worry about. Secondly they worry that maybe the baby will see him, and somehow realize what it going on and be freaked out or traumatized. Or it embarasses them to think that the baby can see what is happening.
These two issues are very common and the truth is, the baby is protected by your cervix, which is like a rock hard lump of clay seperating your vagina from your uterus right now. The baby is in the uterus, blocked off by this natural force field. It will stay that way until you are in labor, when it starts to get softer with your contractions (like play dough.) So, any sex going on means that the penis and sperm are not going to get to the baby.
However, there is another concern where some men find pregnant women to be gross. There are men who can't stand the look of their wife/girlfriend and it actually turns them off 100%. But by your statement that he talks and signs to the baby all the time, I don't think this is the problem.
I am also pregnant, 29 weeks. This is my second child with my husband. With our first the doctor confirmed it was safe to him, and so he has never been weird about sex. But he is really weird about my belly. He never talks to it, rarely ever touches or rubbs it, and isn't interested in feeling baby kick. I think my husband has a bit of that third problem (thinking it's gross.)
From how excited your husband is about the baby, I doubt he will cheat. Offer to do other things for him, like a bj, etc. And have him talk to your doctor if he's concerned about sex.
...............................
A
female
reader, weebooger +, writes (20 October 2011):
weebooger is verified as being by the original poster of the questionFrom my understanding its the hardness of my belly, knowing the babys in there and sometimes he can feel it moving. Not with his penis but his belly. Since we found out he has ben afraid sex will hurt the baby even though I've told him its perfectly safe and healthy.
...............................
A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (20 October 2011):
Why do you think that your entire relationship is all about sex? do you really think that a man can't go without sex for a while?
yeah it might be weird for him to have sex with you while you are "heavily" pregnant.
I never had that with my babies dad...
have you asked him what it is about the belly/baby that concerns him... it's fine to be having sex up until your water breaks or the doctor tells you no more sex for whatever reasons...
maybe if he's freaked out and you are worried about it you can offer him blow jobs and hand jobs...
...............................
A
female
reader, person12345 +, writes (20 October 2011):
 Why would he cheat? He equally chose that he wanted a baby, he himself was the one who doesn't want to have sex in his willing wife, any guy who would cheat in that situation is just downright a horrible human being, which I'm sure your guy is not.
If he's worried about hurting the baby, there is no danger unless your doctor has said otherwise. Much as I'm sure he'd like to think he's that big, your uterus is way out of reach of sex. I think you need to sit down and talk to him about why he's having so much trouble, as I'm sure it's not just him feeling frustrated!
...............................
A
female
reader, KittieS  +, writes (20 October 2011):
 I've never been pregnant, but I have heard this from friends of mine who have been, and their husbands have been terrified of having sex, in case they hurt the baby or psychologically they just feel it's wrong to have sex with a little person inside of you.
It doesn't mean they will cheat! Talk to him, your hormones ate buzzing left right and centre and it's natural I believe to be nervous. My friend was petrified her husband would cheat, she felt fat (even though she hadn't put on any weight) he was a good friend if mine, and all he could do was talk about how excited he was and how beautiful his wife looked.
You just need to talk to him, explain how you feel - I'm sure he will reassure you.
I hope ladies who have been in your shoes write in soon!
And very best of luck with your pregnancy!
...............................
|
