A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:i was a virgin recently and my so called boy friend came over..we were casual flirting and then he started to get a little too flirty. he layed me on my bed and i told him i didn't want to have sex and i tried to move my hand to block his penis.i then tried to come up with excuses to get out of the room, like i gota check on my rooomate and asking him questions like did he have a condom. before i got to block him the second time he was already inside me stroking, i was in shock i couldnt move, it didnt either last long - only 5 mins and it meant nothing to me.i know they say you're not a virgin no more once you been penetrated.. but am i still a virgin? can i still consider myself a virgin if it didn't mean anything to me? i tried to stop him but iwas too late. i hate to call it rape..cuz i dnt think it really was.i dont really know i feel horrible. please respond.
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condom, flirt, still a virgin Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, frankie.says.relax  +, writes (6 November 2008):
 well technically speaking you are no longer a virgin.
but if sex means more to you than just what this looser did to you, then i dont think there is any harm in considering yourself a virgin although it would be an idea to get yourself checked out to avoid an unwanted pregnancy or sti (seeing as the sex was unprotected)
and talk to someone about it too. the police, a counseller, a close friend or family member. what he did to you was wrong, and against your will: please dont keep it bottled up.
hopefully the next person who you CHOOSE to have sex with will be a kind and understanding, and who loves and respects you and wont judge you if you decide to tell them about this.
you deserve that kind of person.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (5 November 2008): This lady has asked this question twice....
http://www.dearcupid.org/question/can-i-still-consider-myself-a-virgin-or.html
Again babes, I suggest you tell your next partner exactly what happened, and don't tell him your a virgin, because I don't think you are. You have been penetrated and had sex, therefore technically you are no longer a virgin. If you believe this is a case of rape, you really need to talk to someone, go to the police, or talk to your doctor. If he didn't use a condom, please contact your doctor and check to see if you are pregnant or have picked up a serious disease.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (3 November 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionWell will it be wrong for me to consider myself a virgin? I kno he did penetrate me.. but will it be really wrong for me to tell the person i will love one day or marry thatI'm still a virgin?
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A
male
reader, DoubleM +, writes (3 November 2008):
 You were forced, according to your description of the event, which is rape. It's simple, except that you wrote that you "dnt think it really was." My suggestion is for you to report it, but the matter is very confused by your own words. The truth is, he technically raped you and you are no longer a virgin, but your salvation, if any, is the "forced" part. This same type of forced sex will likely occur to another girl someday fairly soon. And secondly, dump him and date a guy who understands the word "NO."
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (2 November 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthanks for the answers i guess they help..it just bothers me so much because i didn't want him to be my first. and to the first responder no i couldnt push him off to was to strong.
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A
male
reader, yum yum  +, writes (2 November 2008):
 If you were bleeding then you are not a virgin anymore. I think If you get penetrated that means that you are no longer a virgin (I think). Don't get too upset about it. However it was extreamly wrong and unacceptable what he did to you. Maybe the semantic aspect of the word rape is too heavy however if he felt that you were strongly resisting and felt that you did not want to get penetrated that would constitute rape. You could go to the police and make a statement.
Next time you feel a guy getting to close make sure that you say NO, leave me alone, don't touch me, and if nessessary scream for help. It is important for you to stand up for yourself, so you don't end up feeling horrible.
However he is the bastard in this case and nothing is your folt. Take care!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (2 November 2008): your not a virgin anymore sorry.
if you never gave him permission and told him that you didnt want to have sex with him then it could be considered rape.
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