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Can I ask my brother to watch him masterbate?

Tagged as: Family, Forbidden love, Sex, Teenage<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (2 December 2008) 41 Answers - (Newest, 24 June 2009)
A female United Kingdom age 18-21, anonymous writes:

Hi, hope u can help bit of a dodgy question but

I walked into me older brothers room hes 15 and cought him touching himself. We both freaked out but it was to late and he came, he insists that he didnt but i saw it, he was shouting at me and chased me out the room and hasnt really spoken 2 me since.

We havent spoken about it since but I cant stop thinking about it, and somthing about it drives me crazy.

I know it would be wrong as he is my borther but i really wanna watch him somthing about it just really got me interested, not in him, but I just wanted to c it out of interest. should I risk asking him? im a girl afterall and thats what he was thinking about isint it?

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (24 June 2009):

you're going to see your brother for the rest of your life and if it ends up awkward it could be something to regret. for his comfort never let him know you still think about it. and for gods sake dont go tell people what you aw. let it stay between the two of you. if you want to see someone masturbate go to a chat room and ask a guy to jack off on his webcam, someone will do it. might not be someone you want to see. but i dont know, i havent been in a chat room in years. they are a dirty dirty place.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (22 June 2009):

Love how all the sickos come out when a topic like this is posted. Most of us actually have a chemical in our bodies which stops us from being attracted to our family members, some people sadly do not have that.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (22 June 2009):

Are you crazy?! That's disgusting...he's your brother!! You shouldn't even be thinking of asking him such a disturbing question.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (21 June 2009):

If anything just appologize first. Thats good way to get the ball rolling. Make sure to say, you'll knock from now on. Then he should just let it blow over. As for seeing him Masterbate. Don't ask that. He maybe open minded, but more then likly he'll just think your werid and problly sick. It be better if you had a really good guy friend, or boyfriend and ask them. They'll probly be more then happy to help with you request...They'll also probly ask for the same favor from you.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (20 June 2009):

Don't sweat it at all! And don't listen to all the talk about morality and most of all legality. If your brother and you have a close relationship, I can't think of a safer way to experiment. It's perfectly natural. People say incest, but that's just a word. I too have had experiences when I was young with cousins and with my siblings. I have never regretted any of it! I never feel awkward around them now, and we never even mention it to each other. The only reason that sex is discouraged in most societies is because there is a much higher risk for recessive genes that cause deformity to be expressed. It's only a matter of whether or not your brother feels the same way. Explore, be young, have fun and never regret! And as with any sex you may have in life: be safe and don't have a child until you actually plan to have a child. Your future relationships will in no way be harmed by any of your youthful experiments - if anything, you may develop a higher standard for your future partners. It's your mind and body, and can always be your secret, but you are definately not alone in your feelings. "Knock and the door will be opened to you." I envy your freedom of thought, don't let the haters repress you! Good Luck!

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (20 June 2009):

i had a similar situation when I was in high school... my 13 year old sister didn't knock, just walked right in, and saw me masturbating. i tried to cover up but she saw everything anyways. things have actually been really awkward since then, and she told all of her friends about it too so i had all these little girls wanting to see too. don't ask your brother

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (20 June 2009):

speaking from a personal experience i was put in the same situation with my sister who is just a year younger than me we found my dad porno stash and decided to watch the videos together. it was our first look at sex and nudity after a cupple of weeks she asked to see my penis and in return she said i could look at her. needles to say it was trouble in the making she ended up jacking me off and in return i played with her. to make a long story short we did end up having sex something to this day no one in my family knows about we did it once and after that i was closer to my sister than ever and tho we made a pact to never do it again we both enjoyed the exsperance but knew we could never go on like that. my advice is if you two are close to sit down and talk it out mebie not go as far as I did but a hand job never hurt anyone hay your brother might just start being extra nice to you lol but feel him out and don't be affrade your not weird or sick just open minded. best of luck and i hope everything works out for the best and hay tell us what happened keep us updated.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (19 June 2009):

In addition to what everyone has said, be it positive or negative, one thing may be certain, that your brother probably had the same feelings and thoughts that you had about him when you walked in on him while he was masturbating. This is a 50/50 chance, because honestly brothers and sisters are so well connected when it comes to genes, that it's just insane to think one is not like the other. If you had these sudden urges to watch him masturbate, then may be, just may be, he has had the same thoughts and feelings about you.

But please take precaution, study the issue well, think twice or more about confronting him with the question. Even if you're thinking about making him walk in on you while you're masturbating.

Another thing to remember is that there is absolutely nothing wrong with what you are thinking or feeling, nothing wrong with you or your mind, this is you, this is how you feel, just because a few people think differently doesn't mean that about a million or more people don't feel the same way that you do, trust me, I know.

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A male reader, bradley michael phartz United States +, writes (19 June 2009):

watching your brother masturbate would be morally wrong, not to mention borerline incestual behaviour. he also seemed peeved that you saw what you saw, so i strongly believe you will recieve a "no" answer along with hostility from your brother. Do NOT ask him permission to watch him masturbate, and DO NOT attempt to have him catch you.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (7 May 2009):

No way! Watch a sex ed programme, or porn even! Just not your OWN FLESH ANDBLOOD

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (6 May 2009):

u should talk to him and ask him to help u masterbate ............................................it could be some friendly family pleasure u stroke his penis while he fingers your vagina touch on each other to help each other

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A male reader, pint Canada +, writes (28 April 2009):

it happens more then you think I have sister and have had similar experiences

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A reader, anonymous, writes (27 April 2009):

What did you decide to do about this? Is it something you still want to do? Did you ask your brother or not? If you asked him, what did he say?

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (26 February 2009):

If you want to watch him do it again one idea might be to set up a situation were you let him catch you doing it. That way once he catches you at least the two of you will have seen each other masturbating and that might just break the ice. Then it might not seem so weird for you to start a dialogue about it and ease into asking him if you could watch.

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A male reader, mirrorimg361 United States +, writes (20 January 2009):

I don't think that is something you should ask your brother directly, maybe a boyfriend or friend would be better.

If you want any more advice on what you should do beyond that, please don't hesitate to message me on here, or on AIM any time. I promise I'll try my best to respond really soon.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (30 December 2008):

You said in your followup post that you were thinking about letting your brother find you touching yourself, in hopes that this would influence him to let you watch him masturbate. This could work, but it could also backfire on you in that it might tempt both you and your brother into doing something sexual with each other. In words, you are potentially playing with fire here, a sexual fire, which is the hottest kind of fire there is, no pun intended. So if you decide to do this, please be very careful. And if the situation should escalate into your brother wanting to do something sexual with you, be sure you do not do something you will regret later. By all means, please do not have full sex with him. If you decide to do something sexual with each other, limit it to handjobs and/or fingering or oral sex.

It is normal for you to get very sexually aroused watching a guy masturbate, even if it's your brother. But please be very careful if you decide to press the issue of asking him to let you watch him masturbate. Another forum you can go to for advice on this is the Go Live Wire Teen forum at www.golivewire.com or the Hip Forums at www.hipforums.com. There are people, both teenagers and adults, who can give you advice on topics like this

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A male reader, urbanking99 United Kingdom +, writes (21 December 2008):

Ask this question of yourself. Would you be happy for your bother to watch you masturbate?

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A male reader, askJAY South Africa +, writes (18 December 2008):

askJAY agony auntshame sweet young girl...there is nothing wrong with being intrigued by the act, but perhaps its not the best for you to ask your brother.

i have sisters close to my age and i remember going through puberty(whatever you call it)...its not something you feel comfortable sharing with your sister hahaha.

i'm sure one of your mates or boyfriend would be more willing to show you how the old Jolly Rodger works LOL.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (18 December 2008):

Despite what the others here said, it would NOT be incest for you to watch your brother masturbate. Lots of girls have done that, either openly or secretly. So if that's what you want to do, go ahead and ask him to let you watch him masturbate. Tell him it turned you on and you like watching guys masturbate, and you have questions about it. If he doesn't let you, then you can go ask another guy. I have read about a lot of girls who have done more, like given their brothers handjobs after seeing them masturbate, so just watching him would not be wrong. It is normal for you to get turned on watching him do that, even if he is your brother.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (17 December 2008):

hey, well no offence or anything but if my sister who is 2 years younger than me asked if i could masterbate infront of her i would be weirded out. In fact I support ur question but i think he would say no. It is way to weird. You should seriously talk to your parents or a counsellor if u have anything that you are curious enough. You should not be asking random people on the internet. But hey it is all up to u. So in my personal opinion i don't think u should ask your bro. It is sorta weird

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (16 December 2008):

Absolutely, there is nothing wrong with watching, but no touching. Back in the day on the farm we learned about sex by watching the animals ----. Watching is how we learn. My sister watched me do it and later with my girlfriend.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (11 December 2008):

This was taken from a New York times article about a woman that had sex with her brother frequently while she was a teannager and has no regrets.

Strangely enough, Daniel's wedding day didn't upset me at all. It was his 30th birthday six months later which really got to me, as he stood there with his wife Alison while they greeted the guests. I can honestly say that that was the only time when I felt real envy and wished desperately that it was me standing beside him, arms round each other as we showed the world how much we loved each other.

It's not as if I'm not allowed to love Daniel, but the way we feel about each other isn't something that we can share easily with anyone else. Daniel is my brother, but since I was 14 we've had a sexual relationship - and that's not something that many people would feel comfortable with.

I've only ever spoken about this once before, and even then it was very much in the abstract. While I was still at university a friend had a major misunderstanding with a relatively new boyfriend when one of his friends had reported back to him that he'd seen her hugging and kissing another man in the union bar. She was firstly annoyed at being questioned and became even more exasperated when she explained that the man in question was her brother, as her boyfriend refused to believe her. Their loud discussion took place in the union with an interested audience, until he finally stamped out in fury, still refusing to believe her. As she flounced back to join us she made a remark about preferring her brother to any other man, whereupon one of the crowd said “Yuck, how pervy!” As she sat down beside me she muttered something like “It's not that strange,” and three or four drinks later I quietly asked her what she'd meant.

Fuelled by drink or maybe just rage, she started talking in a very intense but hushed way about how close siblings could be, going on to say that she was sure that many people experimented sexually with them as they grew up and then simply grew out of it. She said it was like practising your social skills on your family and so long as it was mutual, she couldn't see the harm. I didn't say much - partly because I couldn't believe that I'd met someone who seemed to be like me - and she very quickly clammed up and moved over to talk to someone else and never brought up the subject again.

I hoped bulimia would make me beautiful

Anorexic at the age of 12 and bulimic until she was 30, a reader tells of her deceit to keep her disorder from family

Background

Sibling incest: what you think

Family secrets: the grief for my illicit love

I wish I had married for money, not love

My mother hated all women

I think the only reason that I'm talking about it now is to emphasise that I truly believe that she was right - it doesn't happen to everyone but it happens to some, and I don't want to be made to feel guilty about it. Incest is so often spoken about in the same breath as abuse, but if you're close in age and equal in relationship terms then it's entirely different. Of course abuse happens, but it can happen in any sexual relationship and there's an expectation that a family member would never hurt you in the way that someone else could. There's no comparison between siblings close in age having sexual feelings and contact and an adult forcing a younger member of the family to do something they neither understand nor want to be involved in. I think incest is traditionally seen as bad, but in some cultures that isn't the case. When I was small I asked a Sunday school teacher if Adam and Eve's children married each other since they were the first people on earth. She just laughed and didn't reply. Having children with Daniel was never an issue and we were always careful about contraception.

All my memories of my relationship with Daniel are good. He's only a year older than me and we've always been close, especially since we always seemed to be full of nonsense compared with our older sister Jane. She's four years older than Daniel and very studious and focused, while he's bursting with fun and light-hearted enthusiasm. I've adored him for as long as I can remember and my parents were always delighted by our closeness when we were small. We shared friends and moved happily in the same social circles, so I could never understand girls who didn't get on with their brothers.

Things changed when I was 14. I had spent hours getting ready for my first Christmas dance when I knocked on Daniel's bedroom door. It's a dodgy age as you're trying to come to terms with your developing body and worry endlessly about how you look, so his wolf whistle was very welcome as he swept me into his arms and we pirouetted, laughing, around the room, before going downstairs to show off our finery to our parents and Jane.

Daniel's appreciation really helped my confidence and I was aware of him smiling approvingly as boy after boy asked me up to dance, though my greatest pleasure was when he claimed me for the last dance. We giggled home to gossip and hot chocolate with our parents and by the next day all the finery was discarded and life was back to normal.

On New Year's Eve Daniel went to a party and by the time he got home I was already asleep. I was extremely sleepy when he crept into my room and curled up on my bed, which was something we'd both done for years, especially if we wanted to share some snippet of gossip. When he started stroking my hair and face it was a surprise, but I could feel myself drifting pleasurably back to sleep as he caressed me gently. Then I became aware of his hand drifting lower and suddenly I was wide awake as he stroked my neck and started sliding his hand down my vest top. I wasn't scared but I was surprised as he started stroking me, though my overriding sensation was one of sheer pleasure. I instinctively lifted my mouth to his as he kissed me and then he hugged me very tightly and left.

I lay in complete confusion with my mind racing and my body totally turned on. All the sex education I'd had said that this was wrong, that it was abuse and incest. But it hadn't felt wrong and I certainly hadn't felt forced. Rather, I felt that Daniel had stopped long before I'd wanted him to. It was hours before I finally fell asleep but I was sure of two things - that I'd really enjoyed it and I still adored my brother.

The next morning it was clear that Daniel had a hangover but as he grinned up at me from his prone position on the couch there was no awkwardness or regret between us. We didn't discuss what had happened, but went for a long walk that afternoon with Jane and the dog and everything felt the same, down to Jane chiding us about being irresponsible about leaving our parents to do all the tidying up after new year's dinner.

Over the next few years we had sexual encounters every six months or so, each time going farther and farther until I was 17, when we had full sex for the first time. We both went out with other people and there was never any jealousy, although I found it hard to be physically intimate with anyone else. Part of that was because sex with Daniel was so amazing that I had no patience for all the fumbling that seemed to happen with other boys. The sex was never pre-planned, but just always seemed to happen when there was no chance of being discovered.

Every so often I would wonder what people would think if they found out, especially our parents, but it always felt so right and was so exciting that these concerns were never enough to stop me. Sometimes he initiated sex and sometimes I did, but in between times our relationship was as easy, relaxed and affectionate as ever, with the incredible passion of each encounter quietly banked away until the next time.

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A female reader, eltapatio United States +, writes (4 December 2008):

i agree with the person who said to experiment with someone in ur class. Do u have a boyfriend? Maybe you two could do something. You just need to forget about wat u saw. start pointing out all the flaws in him. Not to his face, i mean like next time ur around him start thinking like "damn hes ugly! wat a fatty! sick look at him!" its mean but if it helps u get over then do it.

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A female reader, deb777 United States +, writes (3 December 2008):

deb777 agony aunt I don't know why,you would just walk into your brothers' room. Was there something you wanted to talk about? I guess time knock before entering. I would not worried about it,or try now to think about what you saw.

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A male reader, lookingforloveandfoundittwice United Kingdom +, writes (3 December 2008):

find a boy in your class tell him you want to experiment, no strings attached! get your mind off your brother! else some serious family counciling will be needed for all!

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A male reader, werenotincontrol Ireland +, writes (3 December 2008):

Hey man you need to take a deep breathe and just relax a bit.

Alot of people in teenage years get a few strange fantasies and feel weird over it.

This will pass, and shortly too:)

Im not having a go at ya or anything just telling ya relax:P

Imagine 10 years time, You and your bro in a bar having a pint and he brings up the fact that you wanted to watch him masturbate. lol you probably wouldent like that.

So just chillax and try thinking about a few nice girls in your class or something. Maybe a teacher? lol

Anyway Im gone off point.

My main advice is just to relax and think about other stuff

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (2 December 2008):

No. No you can't. ATALL!

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A reader, anonymous, writes (2 December 2008):

I loved the Anonymous guy's answer.Let's remember our ethics and morals so that we don't turn into animals.

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A male reader, Mr-M United Kingdom +, writes (2 December 2008):

Mr-M agony auntHi, i'd just like to add to the rest of the answers you've already received by saying that asking your brother to let you watch him masturbate would not, in my opinion, be a good idea. Yes you are female, but i doubt he will have had sexual thoughts with regards to you, and i think you being in the room and watching him doing that would make him feel incredibly awkward, and probably stop him from even being able to 'get it up' as it were.

My advice would be to leave it as it is, and if you are interested in watching that kind of thing, i'm sure there are plenty of websites out there to satisfy your curiosity.

Hope this helps

M

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A reader, anonymous, writes (2 December 2008):

I think it is very weird and wrong that you feel horny when you think of your brother masturbating. I think you should stop while your ahead. Having him catch you is no way to get what you want. What will happen if he likes seeing you too? Then you guys will watch each other? Both aroused?

Your down the wrong path... it might lead to MAJOR regrets and you can ruin the relationship you and your brother have. You are talking about borderline incest. Just drop it...

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (2 December 2008):

All I can say is that your thinking is really unhealthy. Thinking about your brother! Please atleast dont disturb the laws of nature. Even if you just want to watch, that is so disguting..If you cant do anything else, atleast respect you being a human, not some four legged species with siblings doing it with each other.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (2 December 2008):

don't ask your bro!!! it will only cause embarrassment on both sides. watch it online or something to people who are not so private!!

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (2 December 2008):

Thank u for your advise i have look up on the internet and found videos of people masturbating male and female. but they do not make me feel the same as i feel when i think of my brother.

But I really feel as though i need to see him touch himself again, its driving me crazy. like incredably horney. Is it so wrong that i feel this way?

I'm thinking of letting him find me touching myself maybe that way he will show me?

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A female reader, -NothingLasts4ever- United Kingdom +, writes (2 December 2008):

-NothingLasts4ever- agony auntOkay.. he's your brother.

If he wasn't your brother then fair enough, you could risk asking it. But because he's your brother, I personally wouldn't risk it.

If he was to say yes then it would possibly mess up the rest of your life, knowing that everytime you see your brother, you know what he looks like when he masterbates. & if you did, what if he wanted ore than to just ahve you watching him? What if he wanted you to do it for him? That would be illegal.

Masterbation to me is a personal and private thing. It's alone time at the end of the day, time to please yourself in whatever way you want. With you watching he might be a bit put off..

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A reader, anonymous, writes (2 December 2008):

Just tactfully mention the fact that you understand he has the need to do certain things to himself and just say that you are so intrigued by it all and wanting to learn and would he consider letting you watch him doing it sometime? I reckon, after a little thought, he would definitely agree - I'm sure it would heighten his pleasure as well as satisfying your own curiosity. I think this scenario is fairly commonplace between siblings. Just don't allow things to go beyond this as that would be incest - morally and legally wrong.

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A female reader, Teacake United States +, writes (2 December 2008):

Teacake agony auntFor some women watching men masturbate is very exciting. But this is your brother and that would be incest. If there is a boy you like, it would be better to ask him. That actually would be better at your age than having sex.

Naturally your brother is very embarrassed and that is why he can't talk to you. You might want to make a joke about it by telling him you see this all the time ? I don't know exactly how to bring humor to the situation. But I think you might not want to pretend he isn't embarrassed.

Is there an older person you know who you can talk to? Don't say it was your brother but a guy you know. And ask them what to say to make things less embarrassing. BUT DO NOT EVER ASK YOUR BROTHER IF YOU CAN WATCH! That is very unhealthy between siblings and would no doubt lead to worse things like actual incest. Its not unnatural or freaky on your part, just very inappropriate. At least you know you like to watch and perhaps you will meet a boy who likes to be watched.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (2 December 2008):

Your brother will most likely 99.99% sure refuse if you ask.

He will not get aroused with you in the room. Also it's something that is personal. It obviously angered him very much that you caught him, its not something a lot of men like admitting to. If you're interested in watching men masturbate you're safer with porn.

I wouldn't dare ask... just respect his privacy.

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A female reader, Honeygirl South Africa +, writes (2 December 2008):

Honeygirl agony auntSweetie, firstly, your brother is angry at you cos you caught him in a rather private moment. I think that you should allow him his privacy and knock before entering his room. Secondly, NO it is not alright to ask him to masturbate in front of you! Masturbation is a very private act and you should respect that.

Honeygirl

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (2 December 2008):

no, you really can not ask him. really really no

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A reader, anonymous, writes (2 December 2008):

I really don't think its a good idea to ask your brother if you can watch him, yes he probably was thinking about girls when doing it, but not his own sister!! you will probably freak him out even more.

If you really want to "know" more, why not search on the internet?

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A female reader, vikkicutie United Kingdom +, writes (2 December 2008):

vikkicutie agony auntits a good question but it is your brother afterall and it would be rude and wierd to ask your own brother. yes you are a girl but i think that he wasnt thinking about you!

you can watch videos of the internet or when you are in a sexual relationship then you can ask the question to look if you are that intereseted.

is it the first time you have seen a man have a play with themselves, if its a yes then of course your going to interested but you need to find another way other than your brother.

hope ive helped xxx

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