A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I have always had a problem with sex, it was something I'd quite happily let guys do, but it was something I let happen to me (hoping there was a hug and the end), rather than something I felt part of.I got together with a guy 8 years ago. We'd been good friends beforehand and he was (and still is) the perfect guy. I'm attracted to him both mentally and physically. I wanted to hug and kiss him all the time, but when it came to sex we had problems.Although we were generally very tactile, when it came to sex, I didn't want him to touch me. He was welcome to get on with it, but I didn't want any foreplay. Sex wasn't part of love to me, whereas he thought it was a very important part of our loving relationship. I can orgasm, and fantasise quite happily, but can't get love and sex to go together in my mind, and can't stand to be touched in that way. Eventually, because I couldn't change, we stopped having sex altogether, which I didn't mind at all, but was a major problem to him, to the point he ended our relationship.I've now lost my perfect guy, I know I will never find anyone like him, and desperately want him back, but it's too unfair on him.Can anyone help me, or give me any advice on changing the way I perceive sex, so I might stand a chance of one day having a successful relationship?
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male
reader, bharat mehta  +, writes (19 December 2009):
 You need true vision, is all you need.
In your mind you have separated love and sex. Such separation is illusion. Love without sex means mind without body, in reality it is ghostly entity. There is no such thing as mind without body. A story writer can create such character, and is termed as ghost.
The reversal of above formula is sex without mind, body without mind. Which means purely animal kingdom. Then it is a robot, or machine.
The above visions are truly theological or religious. The objective vision is composed or blended of sex and love, or mind and body.
Yes, sex is body or form. It express energy of the mind. This energy is love, and it is the essence of life. You will or you can live without 'energy', but it is totally unhealthy live. Just as ill person also live in bed, but such live is not admirable. It the subject of some specialist like psychologist, philosopher etc.
please correct your vision, and meet life with determination.
A
male
reader, called Steve +, writes (6 November 2009):
 In My Opinion:I think you have underlying issues which cannot be answered on a forum such as this... I feel you need professional help with either a Sex Therapist to help you overcome your anxieties and fears.It will take time and patience but more importantly a reforming structure for your personal cicumstances. Please see your GP in the first instance.I have little more to add other than to wish you well on your journey should you choose to take this advice.Steve x
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A
female
reader, SAMYLUNEY  +, writes (6 November 2009):
 well sweet heart sex is a art and a form of love, exercise, trust, and welcoming. to have sex is to give your body to a man/woman (whatever your into)and be one with eachother. if a person has the balls to revieal his/her body parts to you and then show you that hes going to take the energy to please you not to mention please him self they truely arethere to share the experience and show they care for you. in most relationships sex is what holds them together. its the one time you can feel the body heat steam from your partners body and hold him/her close. kiss passionatly with out reasn just because thats what you do. i may be lesbian but i hav had sx with males b4 but its different for me with a male i like it long hard and rough because i never really wanted to have to b so emotional with a man. but with a fmale its thati love to feel her urves and the beauty she has underneath the layer of clothing she puts on a day. i get to feel her temple her body. and babe your body is a temple you shouldnt let a man enter you and only penatrate one thing you should let hiim penetrate everything since hes the one who has to work for it. i hope i helped some what
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