A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I apologize that this question isn't about dating. I'm not currently dating, as I'm focused more so on my future. Here's my situation: I'm 31, divorced, two kids... and contemplating joining the military. Is that crazy??? The job market is rough and I want to do something better for my family and also make a difference, too. Is there anyone out there that has made a similar decision to join the military later in life? How has it worked out for you? Any regrets, or do you wish you'd done this much sooner? Which branch would be best for someone in my situation? I welcome any advice, tips, or pointers that are encouraging, but also realistic as far as what one can actually expect upon joining.
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female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (24 March 2013):
 Dear OP,
I"m sorry you felt attacked and that I was questioning your parenting skills, but to be honest you would be amazed at how many people do not realize that one of the first questions asked would have been exactly what I asked which is... what is your dependent care plan. Had that been part of the question I bet your answers would have been different.
I guess this is one of those cases where there was not enough information presented at the first question. Had you presented it as "I am 31 I have two children, I have their father, my family etc. available and willing to care for them while I am deployed or in boot camp or otherwise not available for them, can I make a military career work"? then the answers might have flowed a bit differently.
Yes of course if you have a reliable care plan in place for the children and a good support network I think you very much can make a career of the military and I thank you in advance for your service should you make the choice to go military.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (24 March 2013): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThe kids are 13 and 7 years old
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A
female
reader, Honeypie + ♥, writes (24 March 2013):
 You have a support-net where you live NOW, but you are not going to be station there, you could for in fact get stationed in Germany, Korea or Texas ( or any CONUS/OCONUS bases/posts around the world). This is why the Family Care Plan is the most important part for YOU to join (as a single mom) YOU need someone THERE with you, because your parents might not be able to show up in (let's say) Texas if you kids wake up with (let's say) Strep Throat, yet YOU still have to go to work.
Or your kids would be living with their father/your family and you would see them when you have time off.
This is exactly why single Dads in the Army RARELY get custody of their children, no matter how hard they fight, and even IF they are a "better" parent.
So there is a LOT you need to consider, most of it centers around the kids and the Family Care Plan.
Still, I would find the nearest recruiting station and go have a chat. One thing to consider, the Air Force have shorter deployments, but deploy more often.
Good luck!
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A
female
reader, MsSadie +, writes (23 March 2013):
 My sister's boyfriend joined the air force when my sister was pregnant with his child. He'll be leaving in two weeks for eight months of training. Now, his daughter is a baby - I'm not sure how old your children are - but for my niece's father, he's going to miss eight critical months of his child's development (she's eight months old now).Of course, my niece has her mother, so we're not too worried. Do you have family with whom your children will be comfortable living should you have to be away for a stretch of time?Military service is a great thing, and I think it's wonderful that you'd consider serving for your country. However, I think you should look into more options before enlisting. Have you considered moving to a city with a lower unemployment rate?
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (23 March 2013): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI wouldn't even consider something like this if my kids didn't have a chance for being properly cared for while I'm away, should I choose to pursue this further. Their dad is actively involved in their lives plus I have a host of family that live near me as well. Thanks to everyone that answered my question rather than questioning me about what any parent would naturally consider prior to such an undertaking. :)
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A
female
reader, Honeypie + ♥, writes (23 March 2013):
You MIGHT be able to, IF you can make and keep an water/air tight FAMILY CARE PLAN.
YOU need to have people who can take care of the kids when you are sent off to school, deployments, training. When the kids are sick, out of school for the summer and so forth. In case you get hurt, or even worse die. That HAS to be in order and it HAS to be air tight or you can be let go in a heart beat. I know, because I have seen it happen to young single mothers in the Army, who DIDN'T have a updated family careplan and who constantly thought it was OK for them to NOT go on training exercises or work past 16.30 (4.30 pm) Once you join the Army, the Army OWNS you and your time. I know this because hubby has served 20 years.
Also you are getting close to the cut off age where you are no longer in the "high" demand as a soldier, unless you for instance have certain needed skills (for instance speak certain languages, have certain IT skills and so forth.) Now if you have some college background it might be easier if you work to get into an officers program.
Over the last 2 years the military has actually downsized, A LOT. 80,000 soldiers was the number, might be more, might be less.
The thing is, if this IS your dream, then GO talk to a recruiter. Find out what is doable and what is not.
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A
male
reader, LivingWithBadDecisions  +, writes (23 March 2013):
 Im considering the military but that would be before i hve children. where would your children live while youre away?
as suggested see a professional to work out the details.
Cooper
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (23 March 2013):
who will be watching the kids when you are deployed?
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A
female
reader, NORA B  +, writes (23 March 2013):
IM SO SORRY- I meant to say NO YOU ARE NOT CRAZY. Kind Regards. Nora B.
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A
female
reader, NORA B +, writes (23 March 2013):
NO YOU ARE CRAZY -Go for it .I wish you the very best of luck.Your children will be very proud of you and you will have a secure future.Remember its never to late to start.While i cant give you any tips on the military job.I wish you all the Best for your future .Kind Wishes Nora B.
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A
female
reader, NORA B +, writes (23 March 2013):
NO YOU ARE CRAZY -Go for it .I wish you the very best of luck.Your children will be very proud of you and you will have a secure future.Remember its never to late to start.While i cant give you any tips on the military job.I wish you all the Best for your future .Kind Wishes Nora B.
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