A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I'm in a long distance relationship and my boyfriend and I mostly keep in touch by email. I'm not on Facebook or Myspace, but my boyfriend is, and when I've looked at his pages on those sites it seems he is always finding random chicks neither of us know and commenting on their pictures telling them how cute/hot/pretty they are. When I've asked him about it, he said it didn't mean anything and he only loved me. I asked him if he would stop and he said that he would, but he hasn't. I don't know whether he is communicating with these girls and saying anything inappropriate or whether he's only commenting on their pictures. If I confront him about it again, he'll get all defensive and pissed off that I've been spying on his myspace page again. He is a good guy and I believe that he does love me, but it bothers me very much that he lied about stopping his little habit. If I stay with him I'm going to have to turn a blind eye to this forever or else be constantly fighting over it. What should I do, am I making too big a deal out of this?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (5 July 2011): I think you're making a big deal of the whole relationship. Long distance arrangements are impractical and unfair to both parties. People shouldn't be making big commitments to someone far away without having a specific date set and concrete plans to relocate. Without that all you're doing in calling dibbs on each other.
As for his flirting with other women, no I don't think you're making a big deal of it. It would be totally unacceptable for him to act this way in real life. Why should it be considered ok for him to do it online?
People bandy the word 'love' about far too easily. What you have here is not love, but perhaps infatuation. Those geniunely in love with someone don't philander about like this.
Your 'boyfriend' is behaving like a single guy. I strongly suggest you be a single woman. Put an end to this arrangement and don't make any more commitments to anyone until you're in a position to deliver the goods.
A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (5 July 2011):
 if it bothers you then you are not making a big deal of it.
it's hard in an LDR
it's hard when you are so young... at your age I would be upset too.. now that I'm old and gray so to speak I have a very different outlook on it...
what would concern me is that he LIED.... lying is not acceptable. ever. about anything.
if you are LDR how soon before you close the distance?
how far apart are you?
how often do you see each other?
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