A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Alright this is kind of a 2 part question, so there is this girl i had met at university who i really liked and coincidentally she lived in the room next to mine in residence so we got to know one another by the end of the year. So here is my problem, for most of the school year she had a boyfriend which was ok because i didn't realize i liked her until the latter half of the year, so about the end of March she mentioned that she and her boyfriend had broken up but from what i gathered she didn't seem too upset about it (i could be wrong though). Anyway once she told me that she had broken up with her boyfriend i really wanted to ask her out but i didn't for a number of reasons 1) we were close to final exams 2) i was worried that she only saw us as friends because we had walked to class together sometimes (just the two of us) and i would usually ask her if she wanted to join my roommate and i for dinner if i saw her sitting alone. So, now school is over and we are on summer vacation and i added her on Facebook and we have been keeping in touch with each other and i have asked her how her summer has been but im worried that (by communicating on Facebook and the times that we walked to class together and talked just the two of us) she has put me in the "friend zone" and how can i be sure because i really want to ask her out when school starts again in september (assuming she is still single). so my 2nd question is, during these FB conversations she asked about the apartment that me and my roommate have for the upcoming school year and i just replied that its looking good, and after i said that she said "cool, il have to stop by and see the place". so im wondering is this a sign that she only sees us as friends or could it possibly be something more?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (5 July 2011): she probably sees you just as friends.
when interested, women tend to make their interest more clear (intentional or unintentional).
if you want to move beyond friends, you need to make your interest clear (in a non-creepy and demanding way) and somehow show yourself as someone who has more "value" than a friend.
if you want to win her, it's usually better to do that in reverse order. the catch-22 of the situation is that if you change yourself to make a woman interested, they likely will lose interest.
A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (5 July 2011):
 It really is hard to tell if she likes you as a friend or something more. It is clear that she wants to stay in contact with you which is a good sign. But weather it is to be friends or something more it is impossible to say. Maybe you should try and flirt lightly with her to see how she reacts. This way you might get an idea if she likes you or not. If it seems that she is flirting lightly back with you well then tell her you have wanted to ask her out for ages and see how it goes. At the end of the day you will never know until you tell her. Good luck.
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