New here? Register in under one minute   Already a member? Login244973 questions, 1084340 answers  

  DearCupid.ORG relationship advice
  Got a relationship, dating, love or sex question? Ask for help!Search
 New Questions Answers . Most Discussed Viewed . Unanswered . Followups . Forums . Top agony aunts . About Us .  Articles  . Sitemap

Boyfriend won't do the things I need to make me climax. What should I do?

Tagged as: Sex, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (30 October 2012) 16 Answers - (Newest, 6 November 2012)
A female United States age 36-40, *prvedgrl writes:

The only way I can cum is with penetration and breast stimulation at the same time.

Time and time I've asked him to touch me and to suck on me, but my boyfriend of 9 years won't do it for more than ten seconds. He gets to cum, but I never can because I can't unless he gives me what I ask.

It's never long enough and now he says that he does touch and suck my breasts, but never for even a minute.

View related questions: breasts

<-- Rate this Question

Reply to this Question


Share

Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question!

A female reader, dprvedgrl United States +, writes (6 November 2012):

dprvedgrl is verified as being by the original poster of the question

dprvedgrl agony auntFive days go by and we hadn't had sex. He hasn't truly touched me. We were on the couch and he was playing with my clothes when I told him to touch my breasts. When I grabbed his dick he stopped and looked down at himself. What tha??

<-- Rate this answer

A female reader, dprvedgrl United States +, writes (3 November 2012):

dprvedgrl is verified as being by the original poster of the question

dprvedgrl agony auntYes I am willing to give him an ultimatum. He's a good guy on most other points, so I can't do it tonight since today was such a peaceful day.

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A female reader, shrodingerscat United States +, writes (1 November 2012):

shrodingerscat agony auntThen you have a choice to make.

Since he seems to put his satisfaction above yours in priority and you are unwilling to give him an ultimatum, you have to decide whether or not you can live like this for the rest of your life, or if you need to leave.

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A female reader, dprvedgrl United States +, writes (1 November 2012):

dprvedgrl is verified as being by the original poster of the question

dprvedgrl agony auntI know I sure said I wouldn't sleep with him but he is the type that will be tbe more mad than I am.

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A female reader, shrodingerscat United States +, writes (31 October 2012):

shrodingerscat agony auntStop sleeping with him until he can get it through his head that you're deeply unhappy. Men often don't understand that we'll continue to "give" even when we don't want to. In "manspeak", giving means that you're not that unhappy about it.

The only time he'll really understand that you're completely sexually unfulfilled would be for you to stop ALL sex COMPLETELY. That means no oral, no manual, nothing. Talk to him, and tell him why...that if you can't be satisfied too, then he doesn't get to have orgasms either.

He'll come around if you stick to your guns. The minute you give up, it'll show him that you're not serious enough to make him see how important it is. STICK TO YOUR GUNS.

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A female reader, PerhapsNot United States +, writes (31 October 2012):

PerhapsNot agony auntIf he won't and hasn't done what you wanted in 9 years, what makes you think he will now? There are no solutions, surely you can see that. You made your requests and they're ignored. He still gets what he wants and you get 0-10 seconds of something inadequate. Why are you letting him get away with it?

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A reader, anonymous, writes (31 October 2012):

He sounds selfish. And possibly is also selfish outside the bedroom. From experience, these kind of men don't change. If its a deal breaker for you, you may want to find a new boyfriend. There are guys out there who would do what you desire and more and for some others, its just not their thing - that's just who they are. At some point you have to make that choice for yourself. Good luck

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A female reader, dprvedgrl United States +, writes (30 October 2012):

dprvedgrl is verified as being by the original poster of the question

dprvedgrl agony auntNipple clamps won't work cause then my nipples will be covered.

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A female reader, dprvedgrl United States +, writes (30 October 2012):

dprvedgrl is verified as being by the original poster of the question

dprvedgrl agony auntIt doesn't matter I could be on top of him facing him and I get nothing. It's always the same thing everytime. He just won't grab them or lick on them, you know? Even to shake them every so often nope just plain old stock it in and out. We don't even kiss. He said the same thing why can't I just play with myself. It's not the same unless he does it then he says he does all the work and he can't do that at the same time. There is never foreplay for me never and he licks my pussy hole not my clothes. Yes I've told and showed him where to lick, but as soon as it starts to feel good he stops or licks in a way where it seems like he knows it was feeling good and he wants to stop that feeling. I swear it feels as if he is teasing me on purpose so now what?

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A female reader, dprvedgrl United States +, writes (30 October 2012):

dprvedgrl is verified as being by the original poster of the question

dprvedgrl agony auntNo I don't have hair on my nipples. They stick out a bit so I can't say I hard nipples.

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A female reader, dprvedgrl United States +, writes (30 October 2012):

dprvedgrl is verified as being by the original poster of the question

dprvedgrl agony auntI've told him that ten seconds isn't enough. I've even bought a contractor but he won't do it. He would tell me to bend over after riding him and I've told him that. Know what he said to that? No I don't. So after that discussion we had sex this morning, and while I was on top facing him, he did suck on one but as soon as I started getting wet (because there was no foreplay just spit applied to his dick then my on my pussy by putting the spit on his hands to just slap it on as lube) he stopped and moved his head back. I'm tired of this!

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A female reader, Honeypie United States + , writes (30 October 2012):

Honeypie agony auntHow about investing in a pair of nipple clamps ? He might find that a turn on and it might help YOU to get what you need.

Seems to me that your man can't "multi-task" or he is just really lazy sexually.

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A female reader, Staceily United States +, writes (30 October 2012):

Staceily agony auntI'm trying to think of positions where it would be easy to suck on your boobs while also thrusting (can't think of a better word) and I can't think of many. That takes a bit of multitasking. Plus he can get distracted with his own things going on. Maybe he just can't easily do what you require for longer than 10 seconds. I know that's how you can go with penetration but are you capable of going from oral? Or if he provides clitoral simulation while having sex? You like having the boob thing but is that really the only way you are capable of finishing? Maybe use it as a tool for foreplay before sex (Him working on your boobs while using his hand on you down there) then work on other ways you can go during the act.

But if he is selfish completely and unwilling to do anything to make it enjoyable for you, cares only about himself having a good time, then you have a selfish lover. You will need to learn to take care of yourself without his help or find someone more caring for your needs.

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A male reader, Kozak117 United Kingdom +, writes (30 October 2012):

Kozak117 agony aunti think if u havnt already tried, fruity lubricants or sexy attire, making him want to touch you , with guys if you dont give it they want it , if you hide it they want to see it, play it bogart be sassy and act like you got somethin so hot that god himself wants you , its a low card but by god it works :)

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A female reader, Candid Cally United States +, writes (30 October 2012):

If you have coarse, long and/or dark nipple hair (hair growing on or around your areola) you may want to consider removing it. This is something that I've seen mentioned before that can be a major turnoff for some men, but the guy is too afraid to mention it to his woman because he is afraid she will be offended by the request.

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A female reader, dee76 United Kingdom +, writes (30 October 2012):

Oh hunnie poor you!! In all relationships there has to be give n take and compromise but when it comes to sex you HAVE to have what you need to get the deal done. Explain to him that a minute might be enough for him but it aint for you and you need more if that doesnt work buy yourself a vibrator so he only has one thing to concentrate on x good luck

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

Add your answer to the question "Boyfriend won't do the things I need to make me climax. What should I do?"

Already have an account? Login first
Don't have an account? Register in under one minute and get your own agony aunt column - recommended!

All Content Copyright (C) DearCupid.ORG 2004-2008 - we actively monitor for copyright theft

0.0312531999952625!