A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I am crazy about my boyfriend but he drinks too much. have told him I dont want to be around him when he drinks because he is really unpleasant and he always argues with me. we had a row a few days ago because he was drunk now he ignoring me and saying Im being unfair and will not take responsibility can I see a future in us? I wish I could
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reader, anonymous, writes (6 November 2013): It isn't easy living with a drinker, who would rather be in a drunk daze everyday than choose to live in the present moment and enjoy being in my company. Realistically it gets worse till you start mirroring his personality and it brings out the worst, I know from first hand experience how much the pain and suffering we both endure at the expense of a selfish person's need to commit his life to a hit of booze, I am reaching out to understand what alcohol does to the person and their loved one's and mentally accept that I choose a life of abundance, I have control over my life and that I choose to no longer accept what isn't benefitting my life and that I am willing to put my happiness before him as he has put the drinking before me. Life is too precious to waste on someone who isn't worthy of the ground you walk on...goodluck
A
female
reader, Tisha-1  +, writes (3 July 2009):
 This is going to sound harsh on him but unless he recognizes that he has a problem, he's not going to change. And if I were you and you had a chance to leave him before getting too entangled, I would leap at it, knowing what I know now.
I lost a very good friend of mine a few years ago. Actually, she was my best friend for many years, but we'd grown apart because she had a drinking problem and wouldn't/couldn't get help for it. She was an alcoholic, let's call it like it is. She functioned well enough for many years, even to the extent that she got married. Well, she simply couldn't stop drinking and even when she was delivered to the front door of a rehab clinic, she couldn't walk in and acknowledge that she needed the help.
Why do I say I lost her? She died. I don't know exactly how but I know that alcohol was involved. She would pass out routinely. One morning after such a pass out, she was found by her husband. Cold. Dead. Not good.
He's never really gotten over this. This destroyed him and he hasn't ever been the same.
You have a chance to get out now. You're not married to him, you're not living with him (are you?). Run while you can. That is, unless he acknowledges that he has a problem and gets help. My friend never did. I know other recovering alcoholics who did get help and who have happy productive lives and happy, great relationships.
It's a disease, but an insidious one that destroys your reasoning and can prevent you from getting treatment.
Who knows, maybe you leaving him will be the wake up call he needs? Maybe this will ultimately save his life?
Drinking ruins lives. Drinking can kill. Be realistic about that.
Good luck, and take care of yourself.
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A
male
reader, GrimmReality +, writes (3 July 2009):
 Are you supposed to take responsibility for his drinking? Are you pouring liquor down his throat?
No you arent. He has to help himself. You can only encourage him to stop, which most likely wont work because he will not admit to it being a problem. He will most likely not stop unless he has totally hit rock bottom
Well, as bad as it sounds, he can only stop drinking for himself. Not for you, or for anyone else. I am afraid that he will not stop,. and may begin more destructive behavior to spite you.
Please understand I am a recovering alcoholic/addict (clean and sober 8 years). My drinking pattern was such that I am and always will be a very angry and violent drunk, which is the worst kind of drunk to be.I can also tell you with certainty that you can tell him all you want that you are leaving him if he does not stop and it most likely wont help.
You may be doing the best thing for the both of you if you do leave him. There is no reason for you to have to take any responsibility for his actions. We addicts are very manipulative...dont fall for it.....move on!
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A
female
reader, eyeswideopen +, writes (2 July 2009):
 Does your boyfriend think he drinks too much? If not, then you are in for a very rough time.
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